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Old 08-20-2006, 07:13 AM   #1
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dmiles HB User
i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

my (ex) girlfriend said its not that we're breaking up or that she is seeing someone else its that she wants her own space

 
Old 08-20-2006, 07:51 AM   #2
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

Welcome dmiles. So your (ex) girlfriend wants space. What is your question?

 
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Old 08-20-2006, 08:08 AM   #3
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

You can read my post, i am going through the same thing as you but have been married for 10 yrs. The best advise i can give you is for you to let her go (even though YOU are not letting her go cause she is going to go anyway, she doesnt need your permission). She may have some "loose ends" that need to be taken care of before she can commit herself to you totally.She may even do some things you wont approve of while she has "her space" and that may be why she is telling you she needs it. It may be hard but if you dont give her the respect to give her the "space" she needs she will only resent you. If she really loves you she will love you even more for the consideration and the time she needs. Show her you trust her, that may be what she needs, by not asking her what she was doing, she might tell you. Remember women are mysterious, beautiful creatures and you may not always understand what or why they do what they do. If she does tell you what she was doing and you dont approve only you can decide what you can forgive and if you do decide to forgive you must leave it at that and never bring it up again. If there is true love, trust and understanding between the two of you, you will have a stronger relationship when she is done. If you dont have those things you never had a relationship to begin with, only what you thought looked like one.Dont forget to take time for yourself while she is taking time for herself. This is what i am learning through my experiance and advise is all i can give you.

Last edited by Imalandsurveyor; 08-20-2006 at 08:35 AM.

 
Old 08-21-2006, 01:10 AM   #4
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

Space huh? Sounds to me like she may want to play the field again and if she doesn't hit a home run, she can always come back to you. Break up with her and see if she suddenly changes her mind. If she does, still dump her. You're not something that can be put on lay away. I don't like to play stupid games like that, either she wants to be with you or not. It's a simple question. How old are you?
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Old 08-21-2006, 04:07 AM   #5
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChinesePisces
Space huh? Sounds to me like she may want to play the field again and if she doesn't hit a home run, she can always come back to you. Break up with her and see if she suddenly changes her mind. If she does, still dump her. You're not something that can be put on lay away. I don't like to play stupid games like that, either she wants to be with you or not. It's a simple question. How old are you?
Ooooooo lol On fire!
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Old 08-21-2006, 07:18 AM   #6
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

How long have you been together? How long did you imagine that you would spend together?

If you have been together for less than 6 months, it could just be a case of you smothering her a bit. She may just want to be able to see friends or just do stuff without you there every now and then or at least do some things without feeling that she needs to include you every time. If this is the case, I don't think there is anything to worry about. You really don't have to do everything together anyway.

If you've been together longer than 6 months, chances are that this is the start of the end. I'm not into playing games with girlfriends as either the one playing the game or the one on the other end of it.

I sure would not want to be with somebody who did not want to be with me no matter how much I liked her.

I say let her go and don't look back. You'll then find out if she was playing games or not. If she was playing a game with you, that shows a real lack of respect and you are better off without her. If she wasn't playing games with you, then she really did want to be away from you anyway.

Just remember that this is just my opinion based on my own experiences but that's all I have to offer you.

 
Old 08-21-2006, 07:20 PM   #7
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_hands
Ooooooo lol On fire!
Hehe you already know I don't like to sugar coat things.
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Old 08-21-2006, 09:38 PM   #8
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

I love having my own space. I work on creative projects. When I'm ready to do stuff, I do it. I'd go with the flow. Let her have some time off. It might be worth it in the end. Break ups happen all time because one or the other doesn't want to spend all their time in a relationship. I always tell someone if I don't have the time, but if you have the time to wait then maybe we can work something out. Otherwise - not what you're looking for.

 
Old 08-21-2006, 11:41 PM   #9
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

I agree with the others - let her go. My ex did the same crap to me a couple months back. We had been together for 2.5 years, and engagement was ensuing.

Let me give you some valuable advice through my own recent experience. If you agree to this "break" crap, you're simply letting yourself be completely vulnerable. While she takes her time to "figure things out", you're living everyday of your life wondering if she'll ever come back to you. Take my word: don't let this happen to you! Don't give her that opportunity to jerk you around!

Simply let her know that she can have all the time in the world, but if she wanted to come back to you in a few months, you may not feel the same towards her, nor still be available.

Don't go through what I'd gone through. It's painful to end things, I know. But take my word for it: quick sharp pain < long extended pain.

Last edited by caladbolg; 08-21-2006 at 11:44 PM.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 06:45 AM   #10
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

I hate to tell you but it's been my experience that when someone says that too you they are breaking up. A guy said that too me too including the part about there not being anyone else. He said we had been spending a lot of time together and he wanted sometime with the guys and his female cousin who brought along some other girl. His cousin was pushing him into going out with her friend. Needless to say I found out later he was nothing but a cheater and now he is a drunk dead beat father giving some other girl problems. I could very well be wrong but like I said that was my experience. People have been known to stay apart and then come together stonger than ever! Good luck!

 
Old 08-22-2006, 07:31 AM   #11
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

In my opinion this signifies trouble. She is either not ready for a relationship that in her opionion may be moving too fast or she wants out and does not know how to break it to you.

I have to agree with a previous post that said give her the space but be clear to her that you may or may not be available when and if she decides to come back to you. Show a little backbone because maybe when she takes the time out she may come to her senses and realize what she has lost and that you are not a doormat that can be walked all over.

Women who are in love with a guy won't ask for time out unless they get upset by something in the relationship or something is happening in their life that they don't want to involve you in. We like to be with our man not without him. What is going on in her life right now? Has she had a recent crisis? Have things been moving fast with you and her? Is she still hung up on an ex? Do you two get along or have you been arguing? There is obviously something that made her want to be alone.

 
Old 08-23-2006, 06:04 AM   #12
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Re: i need advice she said she wants her own space for now

take my advice. i went through the same thing wiv my ex boyfriend wen a girl needs space give her it cos it can make u feel suffocated and totally pisses u off. just get on and show itz not bothering u and then she will do da runing. hope dis helped a little..

 
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