alleycat2

I sometimes wondered why my sister bothered to marry her husband, but I figured she knew why and she loved him so I just excepted him. He was doing thing I did not like at all but I stayed out of it. He is the type who didn't want to try to get a job until he was told if he was going to stay home he could care for his kids to save daycare exspense. He runs off every weekend leaving my sister at home to care for their kids and he spends his money follishly on childish stuff like video games and then hands over whats left for bills with much reluctance. He now has told my sister that he would like to start hanging out with a friend/co-worker, who happens to be female, when her husband is not around so she doesn't get into trouble. He thinks there is nothing wrong with this because he should be able to hang out with her and do the same things with her that he can do with his guy friends. My sister protested and he told ehr she had no trust in him and she got to hang out with a guy friend of theirs (he's gay) and it was no different. They are having problems and they decided to talk about what bothered them about their relationship. She brought up his selfish ways and he brought up how she shouldn't get upset that he wants to hang out with this girl. He doesn't see why it bothers her but yet he has no problem sneaking around behind this women's husband so she doesn't get into troule. My sister asked my advice and I told her she has the right to be upset or at least I would be. If it wasn't such a big deal than why does her husband feel the need to hide it from this womens' husband. Anyway she said if she doesn't let him hang out with this girl than he will tell her she is not trying to understand his side or feelings and if she doesn't try than why would he try to do better with being less selfish. I don't know what to tell her and she asks me. I would prefer for my sister not to have to go through problems like this anyway but she is. She is also asking my advice even though I would prefer to stay out of it. Anyone got any ideas on what safe advice I can giver her? He won't go to counseling because he thinks it's a joke and she loves him and leaving is something she keeps putting off.