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Old 08-22-2006, 02:58 PM   #1
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sad song HB User
did i scare him off?

im in a long distance deal right now - he's not my boyfriend because we live in different countries, but i will see him in september for two weeks. we email almost every other day, and sometimes he writes a lot and profoundly and says sweet things to me and opens up to me surprisingly much. I told him I was falling for him but I didn't actually use the word "love," I don't want to say that in an email. He wrote back and said precisely "i don't know, to be falling, maybe I've fallen further.." and was reassuring that I shouldn't feel weird for telling him that either. I was nervous to tell him and he made me feel totally great about having done it. After that though he didn't respond to me for 3 days, and his last two emails have been brief and nothing of import, just that he's going into the city blah blah. he'll sign emails- "im going to take a walk-wilson" whereas he used to say something like love wilson, xoxo stuff like that. Just wondering if I scared him off or if I'm overanalyzing it - I realize emails can't always be emotionally charged and maybe I'm a bit overbearing that way. Any advice?

 
Old 08-22-2006, 04:37 PM   #2
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sammypoo01 HB User
Re: did i scare him off?

hmm, yes, it sounds like you are overanalyzing this situation. Then again, I am the exact same way. I think a lot of females tend to overanalyze situations like these... that's just the way we are. Especially when we don't know how to ask for what we want or say what's on our mind.
Therefore, I think that you should ask him why he's been acting strangely. There's only one way to put an end to your worries and that is talking to him... personally, I think you are reading into it a little too much. That, and guys are just difficult period.
Unless the lines of communication are open 100 %, you are going to have more problems like these...
Damn! If only I could follow my own advice, i'd be in great shape!
Good luck with everything. Sammy

 
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Old 08-22-2006, 07:29 PM   #3
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minnesotagirl HB User
Re: did i scare him off?

I take it that you've met this guy, right? How does he act in person? Maybe he's saving his love messages for when you're together again. If you haven't met him, make sure you tell a friend when you do meet him in case he's not who he says he is. You never know with the Internet these days.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 11:05 PM   #4
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ChinesePisces HB User
Re: did i scare him off?

I agree with another poster, if you haven't met this guy yet don't get your hopes up. Be very careful of people you meet online! I would reccomend not doing ANY long distance relationships because so many issues can arise. I believe trust is the most important thing in a relationship especially long distance ones. Is there anything wrong with the guys around your city? Does he have the funds to visit you on a somewhat regular basis?
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Old 08-23-2006, 04:38 AM   #5
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minijumbofly HB User
Re: did i scare him off?

I do not believe you scared him off. Most guys just don't scare easily, especially on the web regardless of explicitness in expresssion. So don't loose sleep over it.

I agree with the other posts regarding not getting your hopes up until you see the goods in person AND even then proceed with caution. There are just far too many fake, phony and sick weirdos out there so it's better to be safe than sorry.

Lastly, long distance gigs are very straining emotionally and psychologically. Been there, done it, didn't work for me.
Even if you beat the odds in the end, at least one of you will have to compromise and pull up roots to settle into a new town/city and start over. It's never without some complications, regrets or relapses.

 
Old 08-23-2006, 09:24 AM   #6
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sad song HB User
Re: did i scare him off?

thanks for the replies, I HAVE met him, I went on a trip through Europe this summer after studying abroad in Spain, I met him in Ireland, we spent a weekend together and then I was supposed to leave but ended up staying 3 extra days in his house - we bonded and it was pretty passionate for only 6 days together, saying goodbye was rough, but I'm going back in September to meet him in London. I am crazy about him and feel like I've never fallen for someone so fast.
I think I am overanalyzing, I got an email from him today that said he thought London was going to be great and he was thinking of me. I guess there is only so much closeness you can achieve through email and it frustrates me cause I know if we were together we'd be so much closer by now...I really don't know what I'm gonna do after London, I just wanna move to Europe but I have a year and a half of school left (and I hate my university.)

 
Old 08-23-2006, 09:06 PM   #7
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minnesotagirl HB User
Re: did i scare him off?

Yes, then I think you're just overanalyzing his emails. Men often don't express themselves well in person, so it's even HARDER for them in emails. Good luck on your trip!

 
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