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Old 08-22-2006, 05:06 PM   #1
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Undercontrol HB User
I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

I really need to know what to do about him.

Okay, two years ago, this one boy named Chris asked me out. I said no because, well, I was shocked. I mean, he was really hott, but, he scared me at first. So then, he asked me out the next day. And I said no again because I had decided I didn't like him.

Then he proceeded to ask me out EVERY SINGLE day for 7 months. Each time, I said no because he was getting really annoying. I finally ended up giving in the day before his birthday, because I felt sorry for him. But, I changed my mind, and dumped him exactly a week later.

After that, he dated every single on of my friends, no matter what they looked like. He was rude to me through the rest of 7th grade, and 3/4 of the way into 8th grade.

He finally ended up dating my best friend for about 9 months. They broke up towards the end of grade 8, and he was SO EXTREMELY RUDE to me. I mean, he had been rude before, but then it was like, BAM! rudeness.

So, I tried my best to ignore him, and the year ended.

Three days after school ended, he called me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said maybe, then hung up. At this point, I think I was starting to like him.
So we flirted for about a week, and he was just like, flirting SO MUCH, and being so insanely sweet, it was making me sick to my stomach. I mean, I can tell you some of the things he did later, if you want.

So, he finally TEXT MESSAGED me and asked me out IN CODE. I told him I wanted to be friends. Then he replyed something along the lines of:
MY LIFE SUCKS. I SHOULD KILL MYSELF.

Then he proceeded to ignore me for a week.
I finally got him to talk to me again, and we started becoming friends.

Then, a few of my friends and I went and wrapped his house, and another guy's house.
The other guy found out that it had been us who had done it, so he told Chris.

Chris got extremely mad at me, then started cussing me out every time I tried to talk to him. So, finally, I left him alone for about 2 months.
At the end of the summer, I contacted him and asked him if he was still angry with me.
He apologized for being rude and told me that "everything was A-ok Babe"

We talked right up until the first day of school as friends.

Then, on the first day of school, we didn't have any classes together, but one of my other guy friends and Chris had a class together.

My guy friend came up to me in a class we had together and told me that Chris had talked about me the entire hour they were in class. He had been talking about how I always talked to him, and how excited he was to have seen me in the halls earlier.
That grossed me out.


But, I firgured we were still friends, so later, when I passed him in the halls, I was like, Hey Chris! And he gave me the finger, and started making vomiting noises.

I was like, What the heck?!!

So today, just out of nowhere, he walks up to me and wants to talk. He starts this nice conversation like nothing had happened.
I don't understand why he hates me, and then randomly decides to be nice to me for a day.

He does it when no one is around, so it isn't to impress his friends or anything.

I can't stand it. Urgh. HELP ME?!?

Last edited by Undercontrol; 08-22-2006 at 05:27 PM.

 
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Old 08-22-2006, 05:25 PM   #2
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Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

The guy sounds like a moron. I'm not sure why you find him so appealing. Personally, I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to him. If you see him in the hallway, there's no reason you need to talk to him. Guys always say that the girls send mixed signals, but it sounds like this loser can't make up his mind. He's an idiot. Lose the loser and concentrate on being young and spending time with your friends.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 05:59 PM   #3
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tnwhorselover HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

I would stay as far away from him as possible he has done nothing but cause you problems and that is all he's going to ever do! He's trouble! this looser wants what he can't have and just because he knows you will have nothing to do with him he's trying to make you feel bad. I would let your real friends know what he's doing and saying about you so when they are in class together and he says something your friend can put him in his place.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 06:29 PM   #4
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kayleighsmom HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

I agree with the above posters and just wanted to add that it always pisses me off when people use that manipulation saying they want to kill themselves.

What I would do is call his parents if he ever says that again because you don't know if he's actually suicidal or just trying to manipulate you. He will either be so embarrassed to actually say that or if by chance he means it, he'll get the help he needs.

I think though it has nothing to do with you, he's probably going through puberty which makes your hormones go absolutely bonkers!

Good luck and keep us posted.

Last edited by kayleighsmom; 08-22-2006 at 06:30 PM.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 07:02 PM   #5
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Undercontrol HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

I seriously wish I knew what is going through his head when he decides what mood he is going to be in for the day.


Certain days, I'm like, YAY! We are talking again.

And then the next day, I'm wishing he was never born.

Last year, he kept me from being in relationships with guys, even as just friends.

He fought with every guy who even talked to me. I mean, really fought with them. His girlfriend (my exbestfriend) was getting irritated with him because he would always talk about how he knew where I lived, and she couldn't stand how many times he fought a guy for talking to me.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 08:38 PM   #6
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minnesotagirl HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

Fighting with other guys who are interested in you is NOT cool. This is your youth and you're supposed to be having fun, not fighting with people. This guy sounds like he has some serious emotional issues. Or, he could just be really immature for his age. Most boys mature slower than girls. It's hard to figure them out. I wouldn't worry about it. I would just try to ignore him in a casual way and hope he moves on or grows up or gets some help if he needs it.

I know the attention he gives you and sweet things he says can make you feel really good, but you can't keep feeding him and being nice back if he just changes his mind. That is not going to get you anywhere. If you feel like you need this kind of attention from boys to feel good about yourself, I suggest finding other interests or hobbies that will do the same.

I also agree that if he threatens to kill himself again, tell his parents or at least a trusted adult (like a teacher). Either he'll be embarassed he said that or he'll get the help he needs.

Last edited by minnesotagirl; 08-22-2006 at 08:39 PM.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 10:08 PM   #7
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Bracelet HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

What part of "He is a Loser" did you not understand? I'm serious, this guy is NO catch, so I'm really finding it very hard to understand why you still get happy when he talks to you. Why do you care about ANYTHING that he says or does? You should be totally blowing him off and finding positive people to hang around with, people who will respect you and treat you right from the get-go. If you don't learn this lesson now, while you're still really young, then you're going to be nothing but a doormat when you get older. And that's a pretty crappy place to be.

Just lose this guy, seriously! He's an idiot, a loser, a moron, and probably mental, too. I'd personally be embarassed to be seen around someone like that, much less admit I had any kind of feelings for him. Gross. It's making my skin crawl. Ewe.

 
Old 08-23-2006, 03:19 AM   #8
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Location: Lagos, Nigeria
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minijumbofly HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

Sorry to say, Chris is an emotionally unstable, suicidal, blackmailing, jealous, poccessive control freak. If I were his daddy, he would be in a special boot camp with hard labor and psychiatric therapy for the summer.

You are too young to get hung up by his type, don't waste time on him. As a matter of fact, don't waste time in dating now. Focus on making friends and doing creative & constructive things that you enjoy. Like learning a second language or playing a musical instrument. Play some sports.

You need to get your mind OFF Chris regardless of how he reacts, period. I garantee you, he is TROUBLE. Stay as far away as you can.

 
Old 08-23-2006, 02:52 PM   #9
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Undercontrol HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

I know you guys are right, but how the heck to I ignore him when he walks up and says hi? I want to be friends with him, I know I shouldn't, but I do. Friends, that's it. I liked it when we were 'just friends'.

ychgnj nghcvrtyczx.

 
Old 08-23-2006, 03:01 PM   #10
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Nina000 HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

Hi there Undercontrol

The first thing that I noticed in your post is that the way you write is really clever. I work with pupils your age and I KNOW that you are a smart girl. You definitely know that a rude little boy who sticks his finger up with no shame to someone who is being friendly to him needs to be taught manners, before he even dares to ask you out. Maybe he is always on your mind because you happen to see him everyday in school, but that is NOT enough. You should be having fun and a great laugh not putting up with him. his psychological issues are not your problem and you can't solve them for him. Do you really want to go out with someone who can't even respect you consistently? been dating your best friend..?

Last edited by Nina000; 08-23-2006 at 03:03 PM.

 
Old 08-23-2006, 03:05 PM   #11
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purple_rain HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

YOU CANT BE FRIENDS WITH THIS GUY! believe me, you cannot.
You need to stop talking to this guy. Ignore him. He will get the message. You cannot continue like this.
He wants you and he cant have you- he hasnt accepted this. You need to stop talking to him, stop being nice. Stay strong, do this, and trust me, he'll know where he stands and maybe he will be able to get on with his life. He is emotionally unstable.
Ignore him. If his behaviour doesnt improve, talk to a teacher or someone you trust and can rely on. Do this for your own safety- people like him, you never know what they are capable of after sometime. dont mean to freak you out!!! goodluck.

Last edited by purple_rain; 08-23-2006 at 03:06 PM.

 
Old 08-23-2006, 04:01 PM   #12
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Bracelet HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undercontrol
how the heck to I ignore him when he walks up and says hi?
You just do. Because the longer you keep up this fake friendship, the more frustrated you will become. And you should NOT be egging him on or giving him ANY indication that you are at all interested in pursuing anything with him ever again, not even a friendship. He has proven already that he totally sucks as a friend.

Quote:
I want to be friends with him, I know I shouldn't, but I do. Friends, that's it. I liked it when we were 'just friends'..
It's too late for that, can't you understand this?? He screwed up! It's because his moronic self had to go and start acting all weird and stupid, and because he's about as mature as a 3rd grader. I can't understand why you are trying so hard to stay friends with someone who treats you like crap. Do you have any self respect at all? Do you care at all about yourself? Because if you do, then you can't have anything more to do with someone who treats you so badly with so much contempt and disrespect. The longer you let this thing go on, the more you are telling him through your actions that it's ok for you to be disrespected, because you just don't care enough about yourself to put a stop to it. Do you really want people to know that about you? Or would you rather be strong and honor yourself, by cutting out the people in your life who are negative and who treat you like crap? It's your choice, but it's a really easy one for someone who respects themselves.

 
Old 08-23-2006, 05:09 PM   #13
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Undercontrol HB User
Re: I can't take the ups and downs much longer...

Ack. I do have self-respect, believe me. I've dropped many a friend because they've screwed up once. Once.

But he's manipulative or something. I was the first person to ever turn him down, and I think that's why he like me for so long. He can like, twist your mind until you are so confused... Urgh.

I know. I'll try my very hardest to ignore him tomorrow.

 
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