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How do I take this ????

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Old 08-23-2006, 05:45 PM   #1
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How do I take this ????

While eating dinner my b/f was talking on how he wanted to change in his life. Get a better job so WE could have a better life( although we don't live together) He has a daughter he has not seen in some time. He said he would like to start to work on things with her. Which by me is fine. I asked what about his daughters mom? He said well first she is with someone and for sometime now. And I am with you. When we first see each other cause it has been a long time we may seem like there are sparks, but we know that is not the case. And we may talk about why we broke up. And it may seem like there is something there. Even if she was not with anyone, I would never leave you for her I am with you. What ever she does in her life is her issue . Am I being to sensitive? That whole sparks remark kinda bugged me. What do you think?

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Old 08-23-2006, 05:50 PM   #2
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Re: How do I take this ????

The fact that he's even considered the possibility of sparks disturbs me.

Old 08-23-2006, 05:57 PM   #3
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Re: How do I take this ????

Well that is what I thought the sparks comment.....he then said she will be with her guy forever. And she is a bit of a wierdo anyways. Like he has to justify things He says I am with you so....

Old 08-23-2006, 06:04 PM   #4
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Re: How do I take this ????

What should I do? If I say that "spark" comment bothers me he will say I read into things and he told me he is with me !!! he also said I don't need to be with her to have my daughter ( I guess because I looked rather not impressed) he said I am with the person I want .

Last edited by D31; 08-23-2006 at 06:11 PM.

Old 08-23-2006, 07:14 PM   #5
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Re: How do I take this ????

I honestly think men dont think before they speak 9 times out of 10....He didnt need to tell you the thoughts he was thinking about the situation. It sounds to me like he was thinking out loud, which I dont think he meant any harm, but guys are clueless.

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Old 08-23-2006, 09:19 PM   #6
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Re: How do I take this ????

I disagree. He said "there may seem like there are sparks but that is not the case." Sounds to me like he was just reassuring you since you're the one who asked about her in the first place.

I do, however, agree with the fact that 9 of 10 guys say without thinking Let's hope this is not my case for this post.

Old 08-25-2006, 02:51 AM   #7
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Re: How do I take this ????

Yea ! Men are mostly just hairless apes, you'll understand perfectly when you learn to read our grunts. UUH uuh uuh ee ee... Just kidding.

It does sound like he is feeling insecure and afraid of losing you. And you ladies are right, we are lousy in words when expressing feelings, especially with love. He is kinda making promises that he will try to improve and make things better. He is vouching his loyalty and hoping for some reassurances.

I wouldn't get hung up on the "spark" thing too much. It's just a meaningless grunt. UUH uuh

Old 08-25-2006, 03:51 AM   #8
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KeltoKel HB User
Re: How do I take this ????

Personally, I look at this totally different. He hasn't seen his daughter "in some time." How long is that exactly? I am sure his ex is not happy with the fact that he hasn't seen his daughter. If he hasn't seen the daughter, then I am sure he hasn't seen the ex either. What in the world makes him think his ex even cares or thinks about him? She is probably ticked that he doesn't bother with his daughter.

All in all, I think it was just some fabrication he made up. I highly doubt there will be any sparks. Might be his way of showing his insecurities.

Old 08-25-2006, 10:50 AM   #9
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Re: How do I take this ????

Well he does do alot of thinking out loud. The other thing he said was "why should I re-arrange my life for her anyways " his ex Plus his ex is with someone else. She left .. and has been with this guy for 4 years. As far as how long he has not seen his daughter.. it has been 2 years. And I am sure she calls the new guy dad by now . It is a long story... I told him if he decided he wants to do this he needs to be consistant. He wants me to meet his daughter. I said I would not .. well until I seen he was consistant and also I wanted to make sure her mom was ok with it. I did not want to confuse matters with his daughter.

Old 08-25-2006, 07:34 PM   #10
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Re: How do I take this ????

It sounds to me like he is trying to convince himself, not you, that the sparks will not be real.

Personally, I'm with the others .. I wouldn't worry about it as long as everything else is good between you two.

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