I am dealing with a tough situation. I really like a girl that I work with (I am her supervisor). We get along really well together, regular light touching, very close emotionally, enjoy work trips together and do a few things outside of the office.
She has a long-term boyfriend who is pretty much a bum. Instead of criticizing, I choose to not talk about him at all (essentially pretend he does not exist), which makes the relationship a little odd because we talk about everything else.
She has never asked me why I don't - I pretty much assume she knows that it is because I like her. However, after many months of this going on, we have never once had a discussion as to what is going on or what our relationship is about. I will say that because of my actions, she rarely even mentions the guy to me anymore.
I guess my question is this, ladies (or gents): if you are this girl, and still loved your boyfriend (and/or did not have extra feelings for your boss), wouldn't you continue to talk about him, and/or try to put some distance between yourself and your boss (e.g. stop all touching, try to not be so emotionally close) in order to show you are not interested?
I guess I find it very strange that she does not seem uncomfortable about the fact that her boss, whom she is very close to, will not even acknowledge the existence of her boyfriend.
I would be happy to share additional facts and my opinion, but I want to see what other have to say. Thanks for any and all comments.
I wish I could be with Supervisor in a differant department but we was just NSA deal but I had to stop it all for I developed very strong feelings for him.
maybe she doesn't want to kill the moment by talking about him with you. She doesn't want to bother you with her bf and be reminded of what she is doing to him behind his back. I don't know.
Why do you want to be with someone who seeing someone else????
what if she did get with you and doing the same thing to you..
Whether or not she broke up with her b/f is irrelevant. You're her superior, for you to even consider dating her is just completely unethical. Doesn't your company have rules about this type of thing?
You would be a complete idiot if you did something about your feelings - UNLESS either you or her quits your job or gets transferred so there is no longer a supervisory relationship any longer.
I would personally NEVER date someone I worked with, much less my boss. Because when it doesn't work out and you're still stuck working together and seeing each other every day, it makes things extremely difficult and one of you will have to leave your job anyway. It's NOT worth it.
It reminds me of a situation I was in, in 2002. A girl who I was in college with 3 years before got in touch again. She had been with her boyfriend throughout college (3 years) and they got engaged in the final year. I was attracted to her from my first day in the college, and the fact she was in a long term relationship didn't stop her from flirting with me. I was flattered of the attention. Anyway she got in touch with me, and she used the excuse that I was helping her with her university art work(her fiancee knew we were friends) We got closer and nothing more than hugging and holding hands happened. I wasn't as mature then and am ashamed to say that I didn't think how something like this could hurt her fiancee, but now I feel disgusted that this deceit could happen.
How could someone be so deceitfull towards someone they are supposed to love? I'm really glad she didn't leave her fiancee for me because a) How would her fiancee and his family react(they would obviously hate my guts) and b) How would I know she wouldn't have cheated on me too? They say 'once a cheater always a cheater'.
To be honest I feel like I have been manipulated by this girl because I spent my time helping her with her art work. And I feel that the flattery she used makes me feel this. I noticed towards the end she cooled towards me, and she seemed to be flirting with other guys. I certainly would not want to be treated this way by a girlfriend and I feel sorry for her fiancee now. I hate cheaters. She is still in touch with me. I never ever will get close to an attached girl again.
I am dealing with a tough situation. I really like a girl that I work with (I am her supervisor). We get along really well together, regular light touching, very close emotionally, enjoy work trips together and do a few things outside of the office.
She has a long-term boyfriend who is pretty much a bum. Instead of criticizing, I choose to not talk about him at all (essentially pretend he does not exist), which makes the relationship a little odd because we talk about everything else.
She has never asked me why I don't - I pretty much assume she knows that it is because I like her. However, after many months of this going on, we have never once had a discussion as to what is going on or what our relationship is about. I will say that because of my actions, she rarely even mentions the guy to me anymore.
I guess my question is this, ladies (or gents): if you are this girl, and still loved your boyfriend (and/or did not have extra feelings for your boss), wouldn't you continue to talk about him, and/or try to put some distance between yourself and your boss (e.g. stop all touching, try to not be so emotionally close) in order to show you are not interested?
I guess I find it very strange that she does not seem uncomfortable about the fact that her boss, whom she is very close to, will not even acknowledge the existence of her boyfriend.
I would be happy to share additional facts and my opinion, but I want to see what other have to say. Thanks for any and all comments.
You really do assume an awful lot. Maybe she doesn't discuss her boyfriend with you because she is there to WORK. She tolerates the light touching because she doesn't think it means anything and it's not worth making an issue out of. My guess is she gets along with you because you work together.......she's not interested in having a relationship with you.
why would you even entertain this thought unless you want to be looked upon as unprofessional? I think you are totally misreading this relationship.
Captnquiz,
