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Old 08-27-2006, 08:24 AM   #1
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Location: Wales, UK
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Therag HB User
Overbearing work colleauge

I have a work colleauge and we started car sharing to to work back in May. The thing is he lives 8 miles closer to work(26 miles away) than I do which means even if it's his turn, I still have to drive to his house first then park my car and then go in his car. I hate doing this because he saves more on fuel than I do, and I miss having my independence to go as I please, if I'm late he makes me feel bad.

Also he has now suggested we go to the Gym together and go drinking. If you know what I mean I have no desire to become close friends with him because I feel we clash. I feel that sharing a car with him and being in work with him is enough of a strain let alone spending time with him outside of work, and he's so bossy! I hate bossy people and I feel that he's trying to dominate me.

What do you think I should do, should I just grin and bear it or just tell him that I no longer want to share a car with him? I'm the type of guy who is afraid of hurting peoples feelings so I tend to pretend everythings ok.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 11:40 AM   #2
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purple_rain HB User
Re: Overbearing work colleauge

I have a part time job in retail, I work weekends- and oh my gosh- that is more than enough!! I try to get along with everyone in the workplace, but it goes without saying that I do clash with a few but I'm very professional about it and I don't let it interrupt work. One thing I've learnt is that you can't be very friendly and giving with everyone- most people in fact. When it comes to work, keep yourself to yourself! Give you hand and they will take your arm!
Youre in a fairly tricky situation. You want to seem friendly and giving and you don't want to seem rude and offensive by telling your work mate that you dont want to share your car anymore- but you know you have to. You shouldn't be doing anything that interrupts with your way of life. Be polite and simply say its too much hassle and its too much of a cost now. Yeah, they may feel offended, but so what! Just a work mate!
You were very kind to share your car with this person, but it interrupts your lifestyle and you shouldn't have to put up with this person's annoying habits both in and outside of work.
As for the gym- just say you prefer the lazy lifestyle and its not your kind of thing lol! Just say you prefer watching TV!
Best of Luck! Let me know how it goes!

 
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Old 08-27-2006, 04:10 PM   #3
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Nina000 HB User
Re: Overbearing work colleauge

I totally agree with purple, stressing yourself out will only build up more resentment and inconvenience. You owe him nothing really. There is no reason why you should not be honest with him. People take advantage of kindness.

I had a kind of indirect boss in one of my jobs, and he would say to some other manager on the phone "Oh we have a very pretty girl here but she has a bf". He would never get tired of calling me day and night thinking that I am two impressed with his £3000-a-month wages. He even once told me that he would like to get me "high on drugs". Oh my God! Despite knowing how uninterested I was.
Even with the risk of losing my job, I have rejected his tireless invitations "to watch DVDs" in his flat, to accept his presents, etc....
This has kept the relationship within its normal boundaries. YOu have to be blunt sometimes, unfortunately.

Last edited by Nina000; 08-27-2006 at 04:15 PM.

 
Old 08-28-2006, 05:57 AM   #4
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Therag HB User
Re: Overbearing work colleauge

Thanks for your advice. It's just that I hate bossy people. I dont think he means to be this way, but I dont think I would be able to handle being in his company longer than neccessary.

Yeah I know what you mean purple. But it's hard for me I'm one of these who's afraid of making enemies so I tend to try to be polite. I know I could keep myself to myself but when you work 9 hours a day I have to interact with others or I'd go mad.

Nina- I cant believe how your boss was behaving, he doesnt sound too professional to me. And trying to get you to take drugs! What a lech!

 
Old 09-05-2006, 11:54 AM   #5
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Therag HB User
Re: Overbearing work colleauge

I just want to say that after coming home from today I phoned my colleauge to tell him that I no longer wanted to share cars. The final straw came on the way home from work when he had three near misses, and I mean near! while he was overtaking cars. I've got my own safety to think about.

 
Old 09-05-2006, 03:52 PM   #6
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Location: USA
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LostMyHeart HB User
Re: Overbearing work colleauge

Good for you for speaking your mind. I hope you can take the same initiative with your sister.

 
Old 09-06-2006, 04:34 AM   #7
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lagos, Nigeria
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minijumbofly HB User
Re: Overbearing work colleauge

Congrats on your action! You have just taken a step to be more independent and pro active in the real world. And it's more than just a "jungle" out there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therag
...I'm the type of guy who is afraid of hurting peoples feelings so I tend to pretend everythings ok.
Been there, done it, learnt the priorities now. Hurting others feelings is a part of life, so don't feel guilty unless you do it on purpose just for the heck of it. Rejecting others is a must at times, else only the a**holes would rule the world. ( Actually, they already do. )

So joint in the fight, CHAAAARGE!

 
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