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Old 08-27-2006, 11:17 AM   #1
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Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

trgredxyhtrfcyvhg

Last edited by HeWillBeStrong; 11-06-2006 at 10:14 AM.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 11:22 AM   #2
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keepsgoin HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

Well unfortunately we sometimes fall in love with the wrong person...this is what has happened to you...RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 08-27-2006, 11:31 AM   #3
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SusanGene HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

YOU ruined HIS party by going off and playing with the cat.Look, this trick he's playing is as old as the hills. Guys like this KNOW exactly what they're doing, feel they have the RIGHT to do it, think it's FUNNY that a woman would stick around when they behave this way and will CONTINUE to do it until they find a woman they just cannot live without. Someone who they would move mountains for, someone they'd die for. Then and only then will they change their behavior.
You are not that woman.
Most men who do this think they're really handsome, God's gift to women.
And while they're in this immature, self centered mode, there is No pouting, NO nagging, NO threatening, Nothing you can do to stop it.
So it's your call. You have to think enough of yourself to feel you deserve to be treated WELL, to be RESPECTED, to be LOVED and as long as you put up with this behavior --- it'll continue while he smiles about it behind your back and puts the blame on YOU and criticizes YOU.
I'd drop him flat. No question about it.
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Old 08-27-2006, 11:45 AM   #4
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Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

tgestrgetgedrtgerd

Last edited by HeWillBeStrong; 11-06-2006 at 10:14 AM.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 12:17 PM   #5
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cookiepls HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

How sad. You're playing the martyr for this jerk. Like it's all your fault. Why? Can't you find someone to love who you have more in common with? Someone who doesn't smoke pot, pop pills, get drunk, take you for granted, cheat, lie, etc. etc.? I remember your previous posts about him. I thought you would've dumped him for sure by now. I know it hurts to hear what susan said but I also know it's true.

"..and will CONTINUE to do it until they find a woman they just cannot live without. Someone who they would move mountains for, someone they'd die for. Then and only then will they change their behavior.
You are not that woman."

 
Old 08-27-2006, 12:25 PM   #6
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SusanGene HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeWillBeStrong
hey, thanks for replying..

I guess it wasn't that I went and played with the cat, it's that when I was around people, I looked really upset/mad. I wasn't mad at all, but I guess I looked unaproachable or something. I don't know..I was really standoffish and upset. But I wasn't causing a scene, you know? I wasn't fighting or crying in front of people. I wasn't having any fun and I guess it showed.



That makes me unbelievably sad.
COUNT THE "I'S" in your response to my post. I, I, I. The problem is HIM HIM HIM. Stop defending yourself. Be with someone who LIKES how you act
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Old 08-27-2006, 12:42 PM   #7
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Nina000 HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

He will not change, especially while you are around accepting it. How worse could it get without him? Not much. You really need to be hard on yourself a little and stop being around an a--hole like him. What pleasure are you getting off such parties. None, sitting there upset is a waste of time. Let him enjoy it on his own. At least he might have some sense knocked into him if you were not available. At least give him a chance to miss you. But you have to let go of this poison for good. you are not his carer. I honestly felt tense just reading, not living, your experience. Can you just tell us, what do you like in him? Why are you with him? What are you hoping to change and when?

 
Old 08-27-2006, 12:50 PM   #8
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Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

Hi you probably remember me, the one who was pretty harsh on you....yeah well just remember as long as you accept it, he doesn't have to and will NOT change. There is no solution to your "relationship" and before you know it, he'll dump you for another girl if you don't, well, unless you're his "pawn", which is exactly how you're acting with him. You have already proven that to him that you're his "pawn" by contiune to stick with him despite of what he have done to you. I don't know why I'm writing this, you'll probably still stick with him anyway.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 12:52 PM   #9
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WhiteLily HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

No offence meant here but YES, you are being abnormal, and *I* would have reacted in a different way: told him that he is a SOB and kicked his miserable *** out of my way. It is almost frustrating to read your post, you must have destuctively low self-esteem to put up with this c--p. Sorry if I sound harsh but I really can't sympathize much with someone who makes herself a doormat for a k--head like that. You are what you want to be, and NOone will ever treat you like that have you not allowed yourself to accept it. Sorry. I know that is not what you like to hear. But unless YOU help yourself and take the right decision, no-one else can help you.
And Nina, he won't miss "her", he will only miss the subjective intimidated person in her. This will boost his manhood.

Last edited by WhiteLily; 08-27-2006 at 12:55 PM.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 12:59 PM   #10
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Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

[QUOTE=WhiteLily]You are what you want to be, and NOone will ever treat you like that have you not allowed yourself to accept it. Sorry. I know that is not what you like to hear. QUOTE]

This is exactly what I meant when I was being harsh (and a lil more) back in her old posts, I have told her that exact same thing.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 01:22 PM   #11
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punkybear HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

Honey, I don't know exactly what you want everybody to say. I know you are hurting so much. But you keep asking for advice and I feel like I am just echoing what everybody else says to deaf ears but here goes- he is not going to change! Ever! My goodness, sweetie, have you ever considered what this excuse for a human being is doing to your health? You are going to have ulcers, high blood pressure, heart problems, and age before your time from stress not to mention the psychological damage that has obviously already been done. You have lost all sense of self- you keep looking for reasons this is your fault and things that YOU can change and that is imposible. The only thing you are doing wrong is staying with him. You are doing a great disservice not only to yourself but to anybody that loves you and cares about you. But especially to yourself. I can see why Mysteriousguy's frustration is so obvious. I don't want to sound rude but I have posted to you before and I want to just tell you in the gentlest way possible- it is somewhat annoying when you are asked for your opinion and it is ignored. Many people on this board have expressed to you their not-so-subtle opinions about him. Are you even listening? You are a smart girl and I know you are quite aware that you are with the wrong guy and in a terrible, terrible situation. So why, why, why do you stay? I know that there are lots of people that might jump in and say I don't understand what it is like until I am in the situation. And I do not buy into it. I have been there. You eventually have to pick yourself up and get out because no one is going to do it for you. There are plenty of strong women who have gotten themselves out of an abusive situation. Be one of those women! There is absolutely no excuse to allow yourself to be treated like this. None. I am not doubting your feelings for him but judging from this post and also previous posts you have had it seems like one of your main concerns is that you don't want to leave him because you don't want him to be with anybody else and you can't bear the thought of him treating another woman better. Am I right? You always say it makes you sad that he could treat another woman better but not you. I say, who cares? Don't waste another second on that thought. The fact is he has you and does not treat you right therefore doesn't deserve you. And who is to say, anyway, that he WOULD treat anybody better? Somehow I really doubt that. He sounds like he just doesn't have respect for women in general. I am rooting for you and I hope you leave this jerk. I really, honestly do. If I could do it for you, I would.

Last edited by punkybear; 08-27-2006 at 01:28 PM.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 01:37 PM   #12
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Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

And don't apologize to him! Good Lord, have some self-respect. He deserves a kick in the a** but not an apology. He should be apologizing to you but he never will. Why should he? You make it so easy for him to treat you like ****** and there are never any consequences for him. And by the way, you had mentioned this before but haven't for awhile. Does he still hit you? I'm assuming he does.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 01:45 PM   #13
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HeWillBeStrong HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

fgstrgeartgrgfr

Last edited by HeWillBeStrong; 11-06-2006 at 10:16 AM.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 01:50 PM   #14
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punkybear HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

I don't want to discourage you from posting. I know this is your only outlet and I honestly do want to help you. I just want to hear more positive results coming out of this, you know? And by positive results I don't mean an improvement in your relationship. I am sorry to tell you this, but that is just not going to happen. I mean I want you to realize yourself for the smart, good person that you are and give him his walking papers. And it might not be my business when I asked if he still hits you but, honey, if he does you are just committing a slow suicide. And I might add that when you say you almost love him like you would love a little boy and your reality is wrapped up in what he says, you are not abnormal. You sound like a classically normal and typical abused person. Anyway, keep us updated.

Last edited by punkybear; 08-27-2006 at 01:57 PM.

 
Old 08-27-2006, 02:04 PM   #15
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eve40 HB User
Re: Would *you* react this way? Am I abnormal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiepls
How sad. You're playing the martyr for this jerk. Like it's all your fault. Why? Can't you find someone to love who you have more in common with? Someone who doesn't smoke pot, pop pills, get drunk, take you for granted, cheat, lie, etc. etc.? I remember your previous posts about him. I thought you would've dumped him for sure by now. I know it hurts to hear what susan said but I also know it's true.

"..and will CONTINUE to do it until they find a woman they just cannot live without. Someone who they would move mountains for, someone they'd die for. Then and only then will they change their behavior.
You are not that woman."
Listen to cookie!!! Love yourself enough to find someone who loves you. This jerk clearly doesn't. If you can't love yourself, no one else will love you either. Your behavior, and responses, are not those of someone who loves themselves, but rather someone who doesn't.

Last edited by eve40; 08-27-2006 at 02:08 PM.

 
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