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Old 08-29-2006, 06:46 AM   #1
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Age Gap?

Well ok. Around school I'm a shift supervisor at CVS/Pharmacy.

There is a 16, almost 17 year old girl who I *think" might have a crush on me. I am 22.

It's evolving more now, and I'm kinda freaked out.

I found out some people who were telling me things she had supposedly "said" were lieing to see what I'd say, HA....oh well....

Well, they said they weren't entirely lieing...but....anyway...

When I'm around her, sometimes I get mixed signals. Sometimes she smiles at me in this way...and sometimes she acts really withdrawn from me. Not like anyone else she interacts with.

She looks nervous alot of the time. Like, I notice her hands shake some or she stumbles when she's trying to move something or lift something up, or something.

And then, we were talking Sunday because it was just me and her for the first 5 hours in the entire store...and I think she kinda lied to me to impress me. She knows I used to be a hard partier, and she knows I'm a "rocker" type. So we got on the subject of cigarettes and I was telling her how glad I was that I had quit and stuff, and she kinda mumbles out "yah I'm glad I quit too...". Then I asked her what kinda cigarettes she liked to smoke and she replies "just...cigarettes" in this weird tone.

Then I ask her if she's ever drank before, and she tries to make this joke...but it doesn't come out quite right...she said it kinda nervously...about how I was her manager...was I trying to get her fired or whatever..it was weird...

Then, a few times I've kinda made this sly insult to myself going "I'm just an old man now, since I can't do any of that stuff anymore" just to see what she'd say. And she tries to joke about it, but she seems to stumble on her words again when she goes "You are an old man...you're about to die...". The whole "you're about to die part" was said out of anxiety...trying to make a joke...it was SO obvious....

Then the really odd thing.

There's this "communication log" thing in the photo lab where you leave a note for the next person who works about what happened and customer issues or whatever.

And I went back and read all her prior entries to the other people that were on the shift after her and she just left notes about what happened.

But on the one she left me, at the bottom she goes "Much Luv" with stars around it, then she writes " HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!"...

And then next to that she draws this big heart, with a face in it...winking at "me" with it's right eye...and she wrote "wink" next to it. And at the end signed it "- Lili" which I had no idea was her nick name until she wrote it to me.

Now I've gotten signals mixed up before. Am I just read into things that are friendly things...or am I not crazy???

Is that something you'd write to a coworker that you feel nothing for?

I just get this weird vibe when I'm around her....sometimes I think she's got a crush on me...then other times I'm like...wow she would never waste her time on me....

Like sometimes she just walks away like we're just coworkers, but then other times....

I'm not good at figuring stuff like this out....

Though I've found, that every time I've had these polar opposite thoughts about someone new...I've always been right about them havin a crush on me....

But what do you think this is? Her being a 16-17 year old flirtatious kid, or do you think she has a crush on me.

It's so hard to tell.....

She goes to church, and she's not rocker-type, and she's all clean cut, and she listens to pop music...she's TOTALLY opposite of everything I am.

Yet, I'm still kinda getting more attracted to her.

What do you think? Am I reading into things that aren't there?

I know I can't do anything until she's 17, here in Texas. But I'm just wondering what I should do when she is 17, here in a few months....

 
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Old 08-29-2006, 06:58 AM   #2
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Re: Age Gap?

sorry to make this so short, you've obviously put a lot of time and thought into your post......but.......

she's an immature little girl......don't waste your time playing with her.

 
Old 08-29-2006, 01:26 PM   #3
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Re: Age Gap?

Hey bud. It sounds possible that this girl has a crush on you, but do you really want to get involved with a teenager? First of all, she's probably got a curfew (unless her parents let her run wild, which it doesn't sound like). When I was 19 I dated a 17 year old. Not a huge age gap there, but I was technically an adult, living on my own, and he had a curfew. We could never do anything! Just as the night was getting started he had to go home, and I'd spend every night without him. Not fun.

I just think that for someone your age, it would be more in your best interest not to go after a teenager. You could never go out to any clubs or bars with her, you couldn't spend the night with her, couldn't stay out late. Plus what if her parents don't approve? Really, dating someone so much younger and still under their parent's rule is NO fun whatsoever.

And you have to keep in mind that this is a young, impressionable kid you're dealing with here. Why would you ask her if she ever drank before?!? She's 16, five years under the legal age. You have to be careful. You are not dealing with one of your peers, where you can have freewheeling conversations about alcohol, drugs, etc. You're dealing with a kid, whose brain is still developing. She's getting to the age where drinking, drugs, partying etc are starting to take on a dangerous appeal. You're an adult...don't corrupt her.
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Old 08-29-2006, 01:36 PM   #4
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Re: Age Gap?

I totally agree with the above posters. She sounds very immature. Sure OK she's flirting with you, but can't you find a girl who's a bit closer to your age? Or, I'm wondering if you're somewhat inexperienced with girls yourself -- is that why you feel like pursuing her? If so, that still doesn't mean you should settle for a teenager. Plus, you got to think that you work with her, so it's probably not a good idea to date someone you work with.

 
Old 08-29-2006, 02:10 PM   #5
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Re: Age Gap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by minnesotagirl
I totally agree with the above posters. She sounds very immature. Sure OK she's flirting with you, but can't you find a girl who's a bit closer to your age? Or, I'm wondering if you're somewhat inexperienced with girls yourself -- is that why you feel like pursuing her? If so, that still doesn't mean you should settle for a teenager. Plus, you got to think that you work with her, so it's probably not a good idea to date someone you work with.
Well. I WAS experienced enough in high school, but after high school my life took a sharp turn for the worse for a long time. Only the last 6 months to a year have I gotten myself back on my feet again, in many different aspects.

After high school, it's just been one disaster after another. All with girls my own age. And I mean D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R. No real relationship. Before it could ever turn into that, for the past 4-5 years, it just exploded in my face.

I'm not consciously choosing to be attracted to her, it's just kinda happening.

But I've heard alot of people say I shouldn't allow it to happen, so I'm in agreeance here. Probably not a good idea.

Last edited by MyPlague; 08-29-2006 at 02:10 PM.

 
Old 08-29-2006, 02:44 PM   #6
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Re: Age Gap?

It's definetly true that you can't help who you're attracted to. I think if it gets far enough that you really want to develop a relationship, then you should first get to know her parents and see how they feel. It's possible that they won't be very comfortable with their 16 or 17 year old dating a man who is six years older and her supervisor at work. I know my parents wouldn't. You don't want anyone coming after you...
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Old 08-29-2006, 03:01 PM   #7
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Re: Age Gap?

I am not diswaded by age gaps in general ... provided everyone is of legal age .. and she isn't .... so I say .. leave her alone until she turns of age .. then you can talk to her about it .. and not until.
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Old 08-30-2006, 04:31 PM   #8
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Re: Age Gap?

Well it certainly sounds like this girlie's got the hots for ya! Reminds me of my teens,slightly nervous and giggly around someone I fancied....oh who am I kidding... I'm still like that now! *lol* But she IS still a child, and I'd agree with the 'leave her well alone and find someone nearer your own age' advice!
Cool username btw, like a bit of Slipknot meself!
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