where to start my life is a mess with my partner,and im on the verge of running away but i dont want to as i no i love her.
first things first,
1.we have twins what are 4 months old [they are great and she is a fab mum] she fell pregnant when we first met so thats my first problem and it was a toss between me and another man to who the father is.she says they are mine cus they look like me but whan we fight i get it push in my face [ i do it two when we fight so im just as bad]
2.we had a fight at the start and i kicked her out and she went and slept with someone else wile she ad my kids inside her and she said she didnt now if she was going to keep them and this was with a bloke who lived with her best friend [male]and i have a massive problem with it and it drives me made and makes me feel sick.
3. i have a daghter of 8 which was a mistake when i was 18 but i have allways stood by her. my partner hates this and i allways get it in the ear and she tells me to leave when we fight over it but she says this is cus she dose not whant her children to have a step sister
4. when we fight i have never left untill the other day and i also tryed to slit my rist, i went to my dads and she called me at about 11pm to ask me to come back so i did with some hope but when i got home she just ripped in to me. i also lost the plot and when i say lost it i lost it i went mad and i was so mean to her i called her loads of names and i poared beer over our bed and her i also spat at her twice as i was so angry and i ripped the necklace i got her of her neck.
to cut a long story short i need help. we want to be together but things are so hard and i dont no what to do
first things first.....get a paternity test PRONTO!!!
these kids may not even be yours?
if I were you I'd be hoping and crossing my fingers that they aren't!
And if they are not yours, remove yourself from this situation unless you like drama.
Oy. This just isn't healthy at all. Either go to counselling, together AND alone, or take a very long break. She needs to deal with you having another child, it's not up to her to be approving of your daughter - that's YOUR kid, it's not her choice and she needs to accept that or not be with you. You need to accept the twins, just the same and never EVER bring up the parents. You guys sound like you hurt eachother purposefully and that should never be the case in a healthy relationship.. once or twice maybe but you make it sound as thought you fight frequently and really do rail on eachother.
It's not good for the kids, it's not good for her, and it's not good for you. Therapy, or split... because you can't continue on as you are now!
It would seem here that the crux of the problem between you two here, is not knowing if you are the dad to the twins.!
You don't know, and she doesn't either! you need to get a test done asap, this will at least stop unecessary throwing it in each others faces whenever you augue!
Your kids are 4 months now, but in a couple of years, if this question isn't answered, this will ---- them up!
She says they are yours cause they look like you, or was it just convenience for her to convince you they are yours, maybe cause you stuck around the other guy didn't want to know.
She is evil to cause auguments about your 8 year old daughter, saying she doesn't want her twins to have a step sister. Hello - would she not be their half sister?
You are entitiled to see your daughter, and should do so, don't let any jealous partner try and stop you, I have seen this happen so many times, and the child/children always suffer.
As I said Mark, get that test done, and like Rose said, I kinda hope they aren't yours also, just so that you can get away from this drama.
