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Old 08-31-2006, 01:23 PM   #1
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Therag HB User
Sellfish sister

My sisters been living at home with us again since May now. She's currently going through a divorce from the control freak scum she was married to. This guy used her for her money, stopped her seing her friends, and eventually hit her. She has a habit for going to one loser to the next and It's me and our parents who have to run around getting her stuff in our cars each time.

I love my sister, but the thing is she's sellfish, and I am constantly angry with her for always putting a burden on us. She doesn't drive and she has no intention of ever learning, so I am essentially her cab driver. She doesn't pull her weight in the house things like washing the dishes. We live far out in the country and the nearest city we work in is 26 miles away. We both work in different places but in the same area around the city, I start work at 8am but she doesn't start untill 9am, every morning she makes me late by 10 minutes because she spends over an hour getting herself ready, and my boss has had a word with me about my punctuality, It makes me look bad, and I can honestly say that in the four years I've worked for the company I had only been late twice before. I'm so angry with her and I've told her that I need to be in work early but she soon forgets that. I dont think I want to be a taxi service any longer but what can I do? She's 28 and I'm 25 and I feel that I have to look after her as if she's my kid sister, because I am more mature than her. Sorry for the long post lol. Thanks for reading.

 
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:44 PM   #2
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stalkerswife717 HB User
Re: Sellfish sister

Tell her that you can lose your job because you have been late so many times and if she isn't ready by a certain time in the morning then she needs to find another ride. You can only do so much to help a person. Don't let her take advantage of you any longer. I know you feel bad because of her past relationships but she is an adult and needs to start acting like one.

 
Old 08-31-2006, 06:48 PM   #3
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LostMyHeart HB User
Re: Sellfish sister

I wouldn't do anything more than tell her what time you will be leaving the night before, then get up and leave at that time.
If she doesn't make it on time, that's her problem to handle. If it is a problem, she'll soon learn she'd better be ready.

 
Old 08-31-2006, 06:50 PM   #4
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WhyIsThisMyLife HB User
Re: Sellfish sister

I read the whole thing, because I have a selfish sister too. The only thing you can do is use tough love. Like the PP said warn her to be ready by a certain time and if she is not....leave her. Stop letting her take advantage of you. It's hard, but best to stop now or it will go on and on. I'm 39 my sister is 40. I know!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therag
My sisters been living at home with us again since May now. She's currently going through a divorce from the control freak scum she was married to. This guy used her for her money, stopped her seing her friends, and eventually hit her. She has a habit for going to one loser to the next and It's me and our parents who have to run around getting her stuff in our cars each time.

I love my sister, but the thing is she's sellfish, and I am constantly angry with her for always putting a burden on us. She doesn't drive and she has no intention of ever learning, so I am essentially her cab driver. She doesn't pull her weight in the house things like washing the dishes. We live far out in the country and the nearest city we work in is 26 miles away. We both work in different places but in the same area around the city, I start work at 8am but she doesn't start untill 9am, every morning she makes me late by 10 minutes because she spends over an hour getting herself ready, and my boss has had a word with me about my punctuality, It makes me look bad, and I can honestly say that in the four years I've worked for the company I had only been late twice before. I'm so angry with her and I've told her that I need to be in work early but she soon forgets that. I dont think I want to be a taxi service any longer but what can I do? She's 28 and I'm 25 and I feel that I have to look after her as if she's my kid sister, because I am more mature than her. Sorry for the long post lol. Thanks for reading.

 
Old 09-01-2006, 12:18 PM   #5
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Therag HB User
Re: Sellfish sister

Thanks for your posts. Yesterday I had my second verbal warning, and today I had another one.

I did tell her straight and I was assertive with her yesterday, but she took it really badly and started making ME! feel bad. Last night the atmosphere between us was horrible and I feel like I will fall out with her if she carries on this way. I told her that my boss had given me a warning and she accused me of making the story up! The thing is if I get fired she'll be stranded because she can't drive and we live so far from work, so she would be loosing out too. We have no public transport here...Unless you count the three times a day bus, and they don't go direct to the City lol!

It's not only this that irritates me about her, but other things too. For example she leaves everywhere untidy in the house. Last night for example our parents were out when we got home, and after eating I told my sister that I'd wash the dishes, but she told me ''No it's ok leave them to me, I just need to watch something on TV first, I went to use the computer, and two hours later our parents came home saw the still dirty dishes in the sink and got a bit annoyed(they are houseproud!) I heard my sister tell them ''G***** told me that he was going to do them but he went to use the computer instead''!! She has a habit of making me appear bad! Another thing she does is not answering the phone, she'll let it ring and say that she doesn't like speaking on the phone and she works in a call centre!

Sorry for this long rant but I fear that I will fall out with my sister.

 
Old 09-01-2006, 12:40 PM   #6
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: Sellfish sister

I'm all for families helping each other out, but your sister is such a piece of work. She really thinks you can't get in trouble for coming into work late?
You just have to do what the others have said. Tell your sister what time you are leaving in the morning, and then leave at that time, no ifs, ands, or buts. She either learns what time to be ready or else she loses. Who cares if she is mad? Won't you be a lot angrier if you lose your job?

How long is she planning on staying at your parents'? Indefinetly? Maybe it's time you thought about moving out on your own. I certainly couldn't see living with a sibling like that.
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Old 09-01-2006, 03:35 PM   #7
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thirty-three HB User
Re: Sellfish sister

Very simple. Just tell her that you can't be late for work again, or your boss would fire you. Next time when she's late again, not ready to leave. You should just leave without her.

 
Old 09-01-2006, 03:51 PM   #8
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LostMyHeart HB User
Re: Sellfish sister

You need to tell her what time you are leaving and leave at that time.
That should be the end of story - leave no room for discussion.

As for the rest, if that is the way she chooses to live, that's really up to no one but her (or your parents if they are letting her live like that there). If you don't like her making the mess, you clean, live with it, or move out.
I do believe you are of age to be on your own. I am just trying to say that just because you wish she had better habits, doesn't mean she will adopt them. You can't change her into the sister you want her to be. That's on her.
You make your life easier by accepting it or by not dealing with it (such as by having your own place).

 
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