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Old 09-03-2006, 10:36 AM   #1
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I dont answer the phone enough?

So this is regarding a relationship thats already over (by my choosing for other reasons), but I wanted to get some opinions on an issue for future relationships. I always try to learn from past mistakes and be better for the next one.

The person I was dating said she could "never" get a hold of me. This alone was completely untrue, but in all honesty, she did get a hold of me on my cell, maybe 50% of the time. The times she didnt, she'd leave messages and I'd call back almost always within the hour. She had really bad insecurity issues and I know this fed them when she couldnt immediately get a hold of me. I dont lie, and have NEVER cheated on a girlfriend, but she still didnt trust me because of past issues with her.

Heres the thing, I ride a motorcycle so I obviously dont answer when Im riding. Im also in a band and have other things going on that Im not able to answer while theyre going on. The other thing is (and Im not sure if this is right or wrong) , when Im in a conversation with friends and my phone rings, I dont always answer it. I feel its rude to drop a conversation with someone in person to talk to someone on your cell phone. She was aware of all of these things but still made a huge issue of it on several occasions.

She did mention that when Im with friends that I should at least pick up and say, Hi, sorry but I cant talk right now, can I call you later. Well, the few times I tried this, it didnt go over well and we either ended up talking for half an hour or she got mad at me.

Thoughts/opinions? Am I in the wrong for not being more available to the person I was dating or was she overreacting or were we both in the wrong? Thanks for reading.

 
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Old 09-03-2006, 11:21 AM   #2
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Re: I dont answer the phone enough?

I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. It can be really annoying when you're trying to get ahold of someone and they won't answer, but if you're busy, then you're busy. It sounds like your ex-girlfriend really needed to calm the heck down, and didn't seem to understand that you infact have a life.
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Old 09-03-2006, 11:33 AM   #3
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Re: I dont answer the phone enough?

She really does have major insecurity issues. You can't expect anybody to put you at the top of their priority list all day long. You didn't do anything wrong. You are absolutely right: It is rude to answer your phone in the middle of a conversation with somebody unless it is absolutely important. In that case, you say "I apologize but I really need to take this call. Excuse me." It's not like you were ignoring her or anything, you always called her back! She wanted you to at least answer and say that you would call her right back but she ruined that by arguing with you when you did it. Don't worry about it and find somebody secure enough that doesn't feel they need you on a leash.

 
Old 09-03-2006, 12:02 PM   #4
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cookiepls HB User
Re: I dont answer the phone enough?

Seems like you tried your best but it's usually never enough for an insecure girl.

 
Old 09-03-2006, 05:48 PM   #5
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Angel77 HB User
Re: I dont answer the phone enough?

Sounds to me like you suffer from manners! I think it's rude for people to constantly engage on their cell phones. There's a time and place for everything and if someone's calling just to chat...then it's rude to interupt a face to face for the cell conversation.

It sounds as if her insecurities are doing her in and if she doesn't pay attention to it and change her thinking, she just may keep missing out on good guys.

I think you handled yourself accordingly...but the old saying holds true, you can't please everyone all the time.
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Old 09-07-2006, 06:07 AM   #6
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Lenin HB UserLenin HB UserLenin HB UserLenin HB UserLenin HB UserLenin HB User
Re: I dont answer the phone enough?

All these reasons reinforce my determination to NEVER get a cell phone. NOTHING is so important that it can't wait until I get home and check my answering machine.

THere was a time not too many centuries ago when if someone wanted to reach you, they sent a LETTER and that letter was delivered by HORSE. Civilization seemed to go on.

"Honey, I just got off the train and I'll be home in 6 minutes."
"Honey, I am waiting for the elevatior and I'll be upstairs in 1 minute."
"Honey, I'm just going to the Men's room and I'll call when I get settled in a stall!"
<I WISH I were making up some of these overheard snippets.>

If it's true that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," is it possible that "Cell phones make a relationship grow NAUSEOUS?"

Last edited by Lenin; 09-07-2006 at 06:10 AM.

 
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