She needs space is what i am being told from sorces. This is the reason she broke it off. and last night was her bday party.. I wasn't invited because it would have been ackward... now I called her and wished her a happy bday and we talked like normal minus the i love you and stuff...talked just fine and said good bye..., and i want to check up on her today and see how the party went. . . and just hear from her. We dated for 8 months, and where getting serious...any advice will be much apprecaited.
She needs space is what i am being told from sorces. This is the reason she broke it off. and last night was her bday party.. I wasn't invited because it would have been ackward... now I called her and wished her a happy bday, and i want to check up on her today and see how the party went. . . and just hear her. We dated for 8 months, and was getting serious...any advice will be much apprecaited.
i am new here and this is the first thread that i have read well think that i would say mate is let her have her space and try again in acouple of day mate good luck.
Trust me when I say I know how hard it is to not check in. You just want to know she's okay, and you don't want to have no contact with her at all. I completely respect that, but if space is what she really needs, I'd say contacting her will probably not be a good idea. She might still feel crowded by you calling her, and it might make things worse. Maybe within a few weeks, or a month or so, she might come around and want to talk. I know that sounds like such a long time, and of course this is just my opinion.
It will also be much harder for you to let go if you're always thinking about calling her, or what was said when you two talked. Be kind to yourself. Good luck with everything.
I know it's hard. I know it's a scary feeling when things are out of your control, and you just want to make it right, and know things are okay. But if she needs space, contacting her is only going to aggravate the problem.
I understand you want to know what is going on...but why? I mean, I'm sure you care about her, and you just want to know if she's alright. But it's only going to hurt you more by calling her all the time, because things won't be the same. If you're not dating, she's not going to act like you're dating, you know what I mean?
It doesn't have to be a 'forever' thing...but give it some time.
Ok, first of all, WHY did she break up with you? Where did things go wrong? This should be the first question you ask yourself. Then try to work on the problem while you are not together.
Now, she might like her own space too much that she wouldn't want to get back with you, or she would miss you and appreciate you more and take you back. What decides one of these two scenarios is how much she loves you and how temporary her need is. In all cases, I would DEFINTELY respect her wishes.
Ok, first of all, WHY did she break up with you? Where did things go wrong?
She said I smoothered her.. So yeah, i see where respecting her wishes would come into play...but its her BDAY... i just wanted to check in.. i know selfish.
It's not selfish at all. And I understand how difficult it is, especially on days like her birthday. But like Nina said, she might really miss and appreciate you if you give her some time to do so. Or she may not..but if she doesn't, it probably wasn't going to work out to begin with.
Sometimes people just aren't on the same page...I know you probably don't want to hear this, but there could be a girl out there that would love to have her boyfriend so dedicated. Your ex girlfriend just doesn't seem to be at that place. Sometimes people are just in different places in their lives, you know what I mean?
Last edited by HeWillBeStrong; 09-03-2006 at 02:31 PM.
Look, she's trying to break up with you. She didn't invite you to her birthday party. She is trying to send you a message. If you keep on calling her up all it shows is that you are desperate and slightly pathetic, and that's not a good look for anybody.
I know you're obsessed with this woman, and in love with her even though she pretty much just used you for your money. But you have to back off dude, really. Don't you care at all about your pride? If you don't...then I guess it doesn't matter.
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Listen, some girls say that they want their own private space, and they don't really mean it. She might have wanted exactly the opposite, for you to crave after her, call her, etc. I am just saying "some" girls and she might not be one of them. You need to break it off completely to test that.
No I don't think that you were selfish calling her. On the contrary, I think if you were having a proper relationship and you never hurt her to the extent of not wanting to see your face again, then she's the one who's harsh a little. But again mate (dude ), try not to be too readily available. Give yourself a break, and try to enjoy YOUR own space. You might change your mind. You never know.
So, tonight She IM'd me. Said Hey. Very very Distant convo. I tried to keep it short and sweet. what does this mean? is she viewing me as a friend? or is this a slow slow opening I will have to work on...
1st you need to decide what do you want from this relationship. Do you want it to be a serious relationship or do you just want friendship?
If you want it to be a serious relationship, cut all ties no contact. I know that seems strange b/c you think it will have the opposite effect.
If you cut all ties, she will feel like she has her space
She will realize that you can live with out her and be just fine and happy. As a female sometimes I get the crowded feeling if I feel I am responsible for his life and happiness.
If it is going to work she needs to come back to you by her own decision and contacting her will not allow her to do that.
If she does not come back you have already cut off contact so that you can enjoy life and move on.
It will show if she is only contacting you so that she can keep you in the background for comfort as she moves on.
If you want just friendship then by all means contact her, but know that is all it will be.
The no contact really does allow you to move on with your life if it is not going to work.
going throw the same thing my bf or i think is said he wanted a break and i know what you mean i wanted to call him and see what he is doing but last night i saw him and he just ended up making me SO mad don't call her and if she calls you then call her back a few days later i know this going to be hard because i'm just about to try and do the same thing.
best of luck
don't call her and if she calls you then call her back a few days later i know this going to be hard because i'm just about to try and do the same thing. 
