Join Date: Aug 2005
The Girl I Fell for...
Hey everyone and thanks for reading, sorry its long but I need to get it out and hopefully get some advise.
To make the long beginning short, I met this girl at the biginning of summer and she lives in my hometown. So we went out on our first date and things were great, we talked, laughed, and had a really good time. A few days later she called me and asked me if I wanted to stop by after work for some dinner. She was having some friends over and they were all cooking and hanging out, so I stopped by and the night was really fun and I had a good time. Throughout the night, I noticed that she started touching on my back, being close to me and smiling alot, which was very nice. Right before I left, she came up to me by the door and she kissed and said I am really glad you came. So the night ended great. From then on, things just kicked off for us and we started seeing eachother and the relationship happened.
We started going out to dinner at night after we both got off work, drive in movie, movies in the park with a picnic I made for her, just hanging out at ther house or mine, going to family parties and meeting her/my family. We went to NASCAR( big plus for a girl that likes NASCAR) and things that a couple would do. So after about a month or so, we became intimate with eachother and it was very special to me. After if happened, I talked to her about it and told her that what happened between us was very special and I take it to the heart. She said she felt the same and she understood what I was telling her. After that she brought up the fact that at the end of the summer, she if going back to school out of state that is two hours away. She told me that she wants this to continue because she is very happy with me and that she will not do somethign unfaithfull and ruin this relationship and that she does not like liers, since her past relationship was lots of lies. We talked alot that night about how things will be when we both go back to school. So we had a very good talk and we spent the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling.
We were both very affection it with eachother and feelings this show up, very strong feelings for her. Now she is a bit of a party girl, and I am more quiet and reserved so I dont drink much. But I wonder there were times were she would have a few drinks and she would hugs and kiss me and be close to me and tell me how happy she is. Was is the liquoir talking or was it her. So to get to the point. It was a Sunday night, and she was having a family party and I was over there. We did not see eachother for a couple of days, so she called me told me that she misses me. So the night was going great, BBQ, lots of food, and a good time. She was very happy to see and get giving kisses and huging me. She was having a few drinks that night. Later on that night, her brother said something to her that got her really emotional and she went to her room crying. So I went there and talked to her. She just started telling me all this stuff about her past and how her ex told her she was fat and needed to loose wait( she is not), how he lied to her and all this. She said she is afraid that I am going to leave for someone else. And I told her that is not going to happen. I try to be very understanding by the things she told and she kept hugging and I held her. She calmed down after a while and we talked about our trip to Michigan that was coming up and she was really happy. Later that night we took a short drive to her friends house to get something, and during the drive, she was telling that she is very sorry about what happend before and that she is very happy to be with me and that everyone in her family likes and tha she is developing feelings for me. Right before we got out of the car, she pushes me against my sit and kisses me, and I am not talking about a kiss on the lips, a real kiss and she said after that is how happy I am with you and how much I like you.
So the next day, I had planned for me and her to go out to a really nice place to have dinner outside around sunset. It was in a garden and the resturant was by a lake, really nice. So throughout the ride, she did not say much, but kept holding my hand. So after dinner, we started walking around the lake and the garden, and thats were it fell apart. She told me she is not comfortable with me anymore, she is not over her past and needs time to heal. We dont click and she does not know where things are going. She told me she needs to be single and to think and figure out stuff for her. So by this time, my head is spinning because I am so confused. How can all of this change within a 24 hour period. My heart just sank and it hurt. She said she just wanted to go home and just let it be. Was I used or was this real? She said I was not used or lied to, just things changed. How can you say and do all this things, and not mean them. Everything I did for her came from the heart and with the best intentions only. I fell for her. She led me on and dumped me. It hurts so much. She said she does not have any answers for me and I should just let it be. How can you do that to someone after spending all that time togther, and just out of nowhere turn everything around. I really miss her and I wish she could talk to me, but she wont. I wrote her a four page letter about everything between us, and I also wrote something else. I am a jazz trumpet player, so I took the time to write her a song about her. Music is very special to me so I sent her the origial copy of the music, every note written with feelings. I never even got a thank you or any type of call. She is now back in school, and I go back this week. I think about her everyday and there are times when I cant hold back my emotions. I never felt like this about anyone before. But I really miss her and I wished that she could talk to me. I deserve at least that much. It feels like something is missing from my life, because my days are not the same anymore. With her I was happy, and my friends saw that in me and everyone at work noticed I was happy. It was because of her.
Thanks for reading and I am sorry its long.