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Old 09-05-2006, 05:34 PM   #1
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Crazymotorbiker HB User
Should I break up with her?

Hey,

I've come on here hoping that someone will give me some words of wisdom. Although i fear that by coming on here asking the question, 'Should i break up with her?', already means that something is seriously wrong.

Anyway. I've been going out with my gf for 2 years now and during them 2 years i can never trully say i have been happy. She's very moody, possesive and just generally bad tempted and has a bad attitude.
If i say im off to see a friend she goes moody, dosent talk to me and makes me feel guilty.

Its got so bad that i dont like telling her what im going to do Ie going to see a friend. I just lie to her and do it, just to save a row. I know thats not good but i have no choice she is so bad. (I've never cheated on her. Thats just evil)

Ive now come to a point where i still love her, but i cant envisage a future with her. Its such a painful feeling to have, knowing that u love someone very much but couldnt even contemplate living with them and seeing no future with that person.

Friends have confided in me to dump her and have sed how unhappy i have become. However it is just so hard for me to break up with her.

Any advice would be gratefully recieved.
Thanks in advance.
One confused guy.

 
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Old 09-05-2006, 07:18 PM   #2
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thirty-three HB User
Re: Should I break up with her?

Hi there.

You mentioned your GF is very moody, possesive and just generally bad tempted and has a bad attitude. It makes me wonder, really, what made you fall for her in the first place? If she makes you unhappy, and you feel that your friends are more important than her and she has a problem with that; you would be much better off without her. Just my 2 cents.

Good luck.

 
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Old 09-05-2006, 11:12 PM   #3
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plasva HB User
Re: Should I break up with her?

I think before you break up with her, you should give her the chance to change.

Sit down with her, give her real examples of her behaviors that bother you, explain all the reasons why you want to break up, and tell her you'll give ___ amount of time for things to improve. Talk, talk, talk it out, and consider relationship counselling. At least give her and the relationship a real chance before you up-and-leave. A 4-year relationship is worth at least trying to save.

It's just not fair to be telling her you love her one day (as I assume you have been) and dumping her the next.

At least let her know how serious you are, and see if she can change.
If she doesn't change in the next few months, well, then you have to be true to yourself, but if you do have love for her, I hope you'll give her a chance.

 
Old 09-06-2006, 07:14 PM   #4
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Belvic HB User
Re: Should I break up with her?

Your situation is somewhat similar to the one I find myself in. However, my partner of 5 years never told me he was unhappy or that he had concerns about our relationship until he had decided it was over. My biggest regret at the moment is that he didnt tell me earlier, I would do anything to be given the chance to discuss the problems we had and work on fixing them. Now I am left with a broken heart as I wait each day to see if he will come home or not.
If you have been with this girl for 2 years and obviously still love her or have feelings for her the least you can do is talk to her and give her a chance to change her habits. Remember it takes two to tango, so perhaps there are some faults that you have that may be compounding things for her.
Its better to spend 3 months trying to fix the relationship than wondering what if for the rest of your life..............

 
Old 09-06-2006, 07:14 PM   #5
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Belvic HB User
Re: Should I break up with her?

Your situation is somewhat similar to the one I find myself in. However, my partner of 5 years never told me he was unhappy or that he had concerns about our relationship until he had decided it was over. My biggest regret at the moment is that he didnt tell me earlier, I would do anything to be given the chance to discuss the problems we had and work on fixing them. Now I am left with a broken heart as I wait each day to see if he will come home or not.
If you have been with this girl for 2 years and obviously still love her or have feelings for her the least you can do is talk to her and give her a chance to change her habits. Remember it takes two to tango, so perhaps there are some faults that you have that may be compounding things for her.
Its better to spend 3 months trying to fix the relationship than wondering what if for the rest of your life..............

 
Old 09-07-2006, 01:28 AM   #6
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caladbolg HB User
Re: Should I break up with her?

I agree with others. Before cutting ties, talk to her, not necessarily to breakup, but perhaps hint towards that direction so she'd take you seriously.
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Go Bucks!

 
Old 09-07-2006, 09:39 PM   #7
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Ashlyn_82 HB User
Re: Should I break up with her?

I hope you will talk to her first.. i was exactly like ur gf in the past, but was never given a chance to change. i was who i was because of my ex...to some extent..if he didn't have such a character or behaved in a certain way i wouldn't be so bad tempered,possessive and all . but of course there's fault on my part too.
i suggest you talk things out with her nicely. .. not screaming.and well if she doesn't change...then..too bad. i'm only afraid that she will just think that the probelm is not serious to her..until the day when u break up with her then she'll come to her senses. or so..by then it's too late. try to let her know how serious it is..and at the same tme,try 2 find out if it was because of anything that you did that caused her to react in a certain way.
but with regards to hanging out with friends and all..and she gets mad..i think that's just being..possessive.plain.what i can say is she's totally insecure..and perhaps you may want to find out why..before making any decisions. is it because you are popular with girls, or gets tempted easily...or flirts..or very good looking..i don't know. but that was the case with me.

good luck 2 u =)

 
Old 09-12-2006, 07:21 AM   #8
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bendb HB User
Re: Should I break up with her?

Sorry to hear about your trouble. I have an almost identical situation that I just got out of. I had been with mine for almost 6 years. It's really hard to break something off after you have put that much time and effort into it, but sometimes you have to cut your losses you kow. If you think there is still enough feelings left for you to give her a chance to change, then do it. Don't keep waiting though. I waited until there wasn't any love left in me and then we didn't have a chance. After a long time, it only makes sense to look to the future and hope the one you are with will be there with you and if you don't see that happening, then something has to give. I'll leave you with a quote:


--"People change only when the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of changing"


Good luck.

 
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