Yes, the day came. Truthfully, I think it's b/c I have figured him out and he is too exposed now with his drinking issues, but none the less--we are split. I have been crying for about a day now. He says it's not over, he just thinks we need a break and he's tired of me making him out the bad guy...which I don't feel I have ever done at all, and I think he knows this for sure. He's just running, as boys tend to do. I always knew this day would come, and knew it would be hard.
Last night, my friends all wanted me to come to "our bar" and meet them. I couldn't do it.(thank God cuz he showed up there asking about me) My other friiend suggested I come over, eat, drink some wine, talk and watch the "Notebook" so I could cry and realize once and for all that he is SO not my "Noah." I chose that. Cried a lot. Tonight I am going to a huge party, where my X-Joe will be. I am doing set up with him actually at 5, and it will be the first time we have been together since he broke my heart about a year ago.
I'm sure the conversation starter will be about his daughter being at my house this weekend, with my daughter. We are still very close, she and I, so it's kinda a weird situation and will be interesting. I hope I can have a good time, flirt, drink and party and forget about Micheal for tonight anyway. Keep your fingers crossed for me guys, I'm a bit of a mess today--but I know I'll be alright and gain prospective every day. This is right, and I know it...it just hurts.
I'm really sorry, Laurie. I hope you have a great night and start to feel better soon. Knowing you, it won't be long at all before you bounce back . Breakups are always rough though even though it sounds like all in all, this one is for the best. Hang in there and don't be afraid to lean on friends when you feel down. And please keep us posted...I know we will all be wishing you well.
Everyone,---thanks.. He's already blowing up my phone. Wanted to come over last night. I said no. He argued that we are NOT broken up, just needed break from the fighting. (yeah, and to go out drinking, I'm sure)
Today I feel soooooo bad. I have a massive hangover. It was the big end of summer bash with about 150 overindulged people. Between the pit beef, raw oysters, beers, tequila shots and jello shots passed around all night---I think I may actually die. lol... Went to bed at 7 this morning. It is strange to most people, but when I feel sick or really tired, or both--I don't wanna be left alone like most people. I want comfort food, lots of gatorade adn my baby right beside me, snuggled up. Today will be hard....and long.....but I can do it.
MG--I'm not gonna tell you what HS he went to! Seriously....
Honey I broke up with my man today also, and really for the same reason! We are still under the same house though until he gets enough money saved to actually move. I asked him not to talk to me when he is drinking and of course he said he won't f**ing talk to me at all. He said that someone told him I was cheating on him and well I wanted some facts and of course he said he doesn't have PROOF! HMMM! I think and so does everyone else think that he is cheating on me and that is why he treats me like total CRAP! I mean I can't win money on the computer without him being all psycho do you think he was happy for me and the fact that it helped our household? HECK NO! He just totally made me feel that everything is my fault and I would believe it, (well honestley I still do) but I know deep down that he is a BIG BIG PART OF WHY I AM THE WAY I AM TODAY! I was the good girl and he turned me into the bad girl I am today! Keep your head up and PLEASE DON'T DO WHAT I DID AND GO BACK TO GO OVER THE BULL**IT AGAIN! IT HURTS ALL THE SAME SO DONT DO IT,THE BREAK UP IS THERE DON'T GO BACK PLEASE BECAUSE NOTHING CHANGES I PROMISE, NO MATTER IF YOU THINK YOU WILL CHANGE OR HE WILL CHANGE IT DOESN'T THE DAMAGE IS DONE! YOU GUYS MIGHT BE FRIENDS WAY LATER! BUT DONT TRY THAT NOW, I TRIED THAT AND HE USED ME AND ANOTHER GIRL, HE WOULD SLEEP WITH ME AND HER! AND THAT IS HOW I KNEW HE WAS A SNEAKY GUY! HE WOULD HIDE HIS PRECIOUS CYCLE IN FRONT OF MY VAN! SO IF YOU ARE READING THIS DIANE HE WAS CHEATING ON YOU AND SCARED YOU WOULD FIND OUT AND WE WENT TO KID ROCK TOGETHER AND WE ROCKED THE NIGHT AFTERWARDS (WE DROPPED THE BOY OFF) So please dont think he is Mr. God and Mr. Perfect and I am all that bad cause he lost a good thing but he made me bad!!!!!!!!!! So everyone please don't let your man drive you insane
NO, MG...it's not that HS...Ive never heard of that HS!!!LOL..
I'm hanging in. Thanks for the support. I talked to him at around 6 tonight, briefly. He had questions about where I slept, said he called me 30xs and I didn't answer. I told him the truth, that I was sleeping in my friends room. My X was there, and sleeping over as well, so he was definitely weirded out by that I'm sure. He was not very nice on the phone...not sure why he called.
Kinda wishing I didnt take the call now, but hind sight is 20 20 I guess. No relationship or break up talk, altho HE gave ME a hard time for being totally hungover. I don't drink all that much usually, and haven't for a long while, but I was seriously plastered and feel horrible. Guess I was probably letting loose a bit too much and went over board. Talk to you guys later, I have to go to bed....that's all I have for an update.
Question...what's ur opinion on him asking to come over sometime this week...if he does, which I feel pretty strongly he will---do you think I should definitely say no? Give boundries, etc?? It seems kinda silly w how close we were to not be able to talk in person, but I'm not sure if this is a really bad idea or not. I kinda do wanna talk in person....do you think it's wrong to do??
Enough with the drama already. If you want to be with him, you're going to have to be willing to help him deal with his addiction. It's going to suck sometimes, but it has to be done, that's not going to go away, ever really. If you don't want to deal with it, just be done with it--if you're broken up, you don't need to take his calls, and he doesn't need to come over--there's no need to keep re-hashing it, it's probably more hurtful that way. If it's over, let it be over. If it's not--be willing to deal with some not-so-perfect times.
I"m actually avoiding my boyfriend and feeling like I'm about to enter another winding circle. It's too bad. I don't mind being around him, and he's very intelligent and I love talking to him. He's never cruel or upsets me, however, drinking is a bad habit, not that he's ever drunk. Never seen him drunk before. He's a serious person and talks about marriage - but when he comes over, it's with a bottle of "something". Bars, which is ok, as an adult thing, but the drinking habit has to go. So I hear you. I like doing other things besides being social with a drink in the hand. He did say he wanted to take a trip with me in January, but I don't know if I want to plan that out so far in advance. He took me to a nice dinner about a week ago. I know it's not the money. He's 24 yrs old and has a good job.
Last edited by *DottieGirl*; 09-11-2006 at 01:55 AM.
I'm very very sorry to see and hear this update. Sincerely.
I was the one that hoped for the best but that's all history now. He's NOT ready nor willing to stay on the wagon and I tell you, you MUST break up with him now. If you must talk face to face, go to his place. DO NOT have him come over, PLEASE!
By no way or mean should you give him another chance. If he REALLY holds true love and deep feelings for you, he WILL find a way to get back on the wagon and STAY on. Otherwise, it's all lies and deceit so DON"T fall for any of it.
It's always an uphill and long battle when it comes to fighting addictions. Sadly, forgiveness will actually strengthen the addiction, NOT the relationship.
"enough with the drama" and "just be done with it." Wow, an 11 month relationship?? I wish it was that easy, and I could be that cold.I think I've been pretty darn strong and calm. I've cried when alone, or to my best friend on the phone. I've been very calm with him, and we have talked very little.
Mini..thanks for the advice. I hear what ur sayin, and it makes sense. It's just when this happened, it was over the phone, adn was presented like both of us needing a break. From drama and fighting. (now, we weren't really fighting, he just didn't want to discuss anything and was sick of being asked)
anyway, he has made it clear, or tried to, that we are stil bf gf, and things are not over. I just don't say much. It's been hard, and I really don't feel strong enuf to say, "don't ever call me again, I don't want to see you ever again." It feels easier to just not see each other for a while, and keep telling myself during those times all the things that SUCK about him. lol... I feel like it's working really, and getting easier. Maybe it's just time. Who knows.
...It feels easier to just not see each other for a while, and keep telling myself during those times all the things that SUCK about him. lol... I feel like it's working really, and getting easier. Maybe it's just time. Who knows.
Whatever works, just do it ! But whatever you do, DON'T look back. Don't make it a discussion, it's a decree.
Yes...there must have been some good times in the past but now is not the time to dwell on that. And the cleaner the break, the easier to move on. I wish there is a more subtle way to put it but ...sigh....there just isn't.