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Old 09-11-2006, 10:44 AM   #1
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Veronica_Mars HB User
update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

Hi, I haven't updated my old thread or posted a new one lately because, in large part thanks to my friends here and their always great advice, I really haven't had any concerns or worries or problems to ask about. But I still wanted to thank you again and let everyone who took the time to help me out what ended up happening with all the drama I posted about earlier in the summer. As it turns out, everything worked out for the best, even better than I could have hoped actually. Since I started hanging out again with an old and very special friend of mine from high school, who I've always admired and adored, things have proceeded pretty quickly but also quite naturally into a real relationship. We were never romantically involved in the past except for the fact that I knew he had a big crush on me, but back in high school I almost always had another boyfriend so nothing happened with Brendan except for an occasional casual hookup.

But during college we stayed in touch, mostly as friends, and I also stayed in pretty close contact with his parents, who are wonderful people who have always gone out of their way to be really nice to me. I asked Brendan's mom for his email early this summer and we made plans to hang out...then basically as soon as I saw him, I was majorly smitten. I took him home that first night that I saw him again and immediately lost interest in the other guys I had been dating at the time. I was quite anxious/worried at first about all sorts of things, like whether we were anything more than friends with benefits, if we were going to tell other people about our relationship, whether I should tell him that I love him, whether various stupid things I had done were going to screw everything up, etc.

But you guys always helped by reminding me not to worry unnecessarily or create drama where none need exist, which was huge both in keeping me happy/relaxed and in keeping our relationship on track. I think Eve in particular reminded me not to stress out and just to enjoy letting our relationship develop in its own natural timeframe, which turned out to be reassuring as well as totally accurate. So, not worrying, not arguing, not having drama--all that is working out wonderfully. I love Brendan so much, as a close friend but also as much more. Also, for a neurotic overthinker like me, it's great to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't play any games and has no interest in making things difficult or dramatic. I used to think the best relationships were the ones with all the fireworks and soap opera stuff, and I was even thinking about getting back with my first boyfriend, who was the king of all that stuff around the time I started hanging out again with Brendan.

Fortunately all you helped me realize, gradually, that good relationships don't have to be stressful and confusing and difficult and complicated and fiery. It feels a lot more mature and healthy for me to be with someone and have us be completely honest and open with each other, each being able to have our own ideas and preferences and opinions without needing to argue on a personal level or play mind games of any kind. It's nice to have harmony without any uncertainty and to know I can always count on him to do what he says he'll do, to the point where I'm always confident that we'll hang out almost every single day or at least talk every day. He really likes that kind of stable relationship, and while I wasn't sure I was ready for something like that a few months ago, it seems really great to me now that I've found someone I like and respect so much. I just hope I don't end up back here before long with some new drama or problem I've cooked up in my head from worrying too much! In the meantime, I just wanted to let you know how happy I am with how things worked out, and to let you know how much your insights have helped. I always like to see a happy ending here, and hopefully this will be one too. Thanks again everyone .

 
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Old 09-11-2006, 04:47 PM   #2
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eve40 HB User
Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

I'm so happy that you've finally found love and have discovered the joys of a stable relationship. You will learn so much in this relationship and you seem to be an excellent student Stacy. You will become an even better teacher to those comming behind us, to these boards, and they will be lucky to have you advising them. Extra work, the side-effect of being happy, I guess.

Last edited by eve40; 09-11-2006 at 04:48 PM.

 
Old 09-11-2006, 04:54 PM   #3
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LostMyHeart HB User
Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

Well, I don't think I helped you, but I'm really glad to hear you are so happy with your bf and that things are going well. I wish you guys all the best.

 
Old 09-11-2006, 07:14 PM   #4
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Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

That's so wonderful, Stacy! Sounds like the ideal kind of relationship where you are both very attracted to each other, and yet it's also harmonious and dependable. Wow! Best wishes to you both

 
Old 09-11-2006, 07:35 PM   #5
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Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

good luck stacy,

 
Old 09-11-2006, 07:41 PM   #6
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Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
That's so wonderful, Stacy! Sounds like the ideal kind of relationship where you are both very attracted to each other, and yet it's also harmonious and dependable. Wow! Best wishes to you both
and what about my toots!?? what has she been up to??

 
Old 09-11-2006, 08:21 PM   #7
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SophiaM HB User
Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lance0204
and what about my toots!?? what has she been up to??
haha, long time no speak, sweets Not that much has changed, actually. My classes started again and I'm in a mild state of panic. It feels like I won't have time to even breathe in the next year. How about your handsome self? Any updates for us? Were you able to finally move?

 
Old 09-11-2006, 10:03 PM   #8
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Lance0204 HB User
Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
haha, long time no speak, sweets Not that much has changed, actually. My classes started again and I'm in a mild state of panic. It feels like I won't have time to even breathe in the next year. How about your handsome self? Any updates for us? Were you able to finally move?
yes toots i did move and i have an interview coming up for a really cool job. i hope i get it, i was just thinking that i should ask you to go beforehand to meet with the interviewers on my behalf in your nice tiny skirt and black boots, i know you'll blow them away..can't imagine too many engineers coming across someone like you.

i've also been talking to this girl online but she's really really far away. we can't get enough of each other really; i think i might really like her or is it just another online illusion, i just wish she was closer to me, i've cut all the other ones loose once i started talking to this one. there is this persistent one from europe that's creeping me out. she says she has strong feelings for me, maybe she thinks i have money, .

well, toots, good luck this semester and if you run into any more older female professors giving you a hard time, then maybe I will talk to them on your behalf in the tiny skirt and black boots, i've got nice legs too, ya'know,

 
Old 09-11-2006, 10:23 PM   #9
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Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lance0204
well, toots, good luck this semester and if you run into any more older female professors giving you a hard time, then maybe I will talk to them on your behalf in the tiny skirt and black boots, i've got nice legs too, ya'know,
LMAO. I will certainly keep that in mind! Well, glad to hear good things are happening for ya! It's too bad the girl you enjoy talking to is far away, but you never know, people move, etc. But it would be good to meet in person because with meeting online, there's always the risk that it might be an illusion, like you said. Nothing can replace face to face interaction. Oh, and anyone who doesn't even know you but says she has "strong feelings," I would stay away from. Good luck with the new job!!!

 
Old 09-12-2006, 03:09 AM   #10
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minijumbofly HB User
Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

[QUOTE=Veronica_Mars]...completely honest and open with each other, each being able to have our own ideas and preferences and opinions without needing to argue on a personal level or play mind games of any kind. It's nice to have harmony ...QUOTE]

Congrats, touch wood and keeping fingers crossed.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 05:38 AM   #11
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brook65 HB User
Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

Hi Stacey

Is this the guy that you posted about some time ago, asking for opinions on whether to risk asking about taking the relationship further?

Anyhow, so glad you are happy and have found possibly the right guy for you.

Keep happy

 
Old 09-12-2006, 06:25 PM   #12
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Veronica_Mars HB User
Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

Yes, I think it is the same guy...though I tend to spend a lot of time worrying about whether to risk taking relationships further with every guy I get with, lol, so I can't be sure . Thanks a lot, everyone, for wishing me well. It always amazes me what great friends you can have here, despite never meeting in person, and how insightful and accurate your insights about me have always been. I feel really lucky to have found you guys, because I know I would have been much more neurotic about things with Brendan without your help and would have probably messed things up as a result. Instead, I am learning that I don't have to overanalyze everything and be all worried about whether I am doing the right thing, because if he's the right guy, he will like and accept me the way I am. Though he does bring out the best in me, which is always a good thing in relationships. Anyway, I'd be foolish to think that we'll definitely live happily ever after or anything, but for now, things seem excellent.

Lance, how's the new town treating you? And Sophia, thanks as always for your extra help and support...you guys are all great. I just hope I won't be back here again soon depending on that great advice because I'm acting and/or thinking irrationally again. So far so good. Oh yeah, and I also wanted to mention that reading about personality types, like I mentioned in some previous threads, was a huge help in getting this relationship started smoothly, because it reminded me exactly how different people can be, and that it's totally ok and even desirable for someone to react differently than I would or than I would expect in a given situation. So I couldn't recommend looking into the whole myers-briggs personality typing any more to anyone here who is having difficulty understanding and accepting where someone else is coming from. It also helped me a ton with my mom. Well, thanks again to all my friends here for everything. I hope Eve is right and that I can help other people more effectively now that I finally seem to be getting some of my own relationship issues worked out!

 
Old 09-12-2006, 09:29 PM   #13
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kj547 HB User
Re: update and thanks to everyone who's helped...

So glad you have found such a wonderful & stable relationship. Relax and enjoy it! You deserve it. Sometimes the people we are meant to be with have been right under our noses all along. I also appreciate all of the help & comments you gave me about my relationship with my 'old flame'. We just spent another long weekend together & things are fabulous (but we are trying to be as cautious as possible so as not to hurt others unnecessarily). I hope mine works out as well as yours!

 
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