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Old 09-13-2006, 04:40 PM   #1
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Question Flirting dangerously?

I have a question that I'd like some people's opinion about.

Do you think non-sexual flirting is ok...in the work place? If two adults nonverbally agree that fliting wouldn't get out of hand, do you think it would be ok?

What I mean by non-sexual flirting is saying certain things sweetly such as "I made it just for you(with a wink)" or making compliments about the other in a sweet tone.

 
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Old 09-13-2006, 07:09 PM   #2
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

flirting is basically always sexual...like, it's not what you say, but how you say it. Whether the two of you mean anything by it or not, others in your workplace would assume otherwise.

But why would you want to flirt if there was no sexual thing going on, anyway?

 
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Old 09-13-2006, 07:38 PM   #3
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

I vote:

If the two people are single and it's not against company policy i.e. sexual harrassment = Yes

If either of the two people are married = NO

 
Old 09-13-2006, 07:40 PM   #4
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

I think that type of flirting in such close quarters as the work place would almost always lead to something more. Flirting is just the beginning. Be careful.

 
Old 09-13-2006, 08:29 PM   #5
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

How do you nonverbally agree that flirting would not get out of control????
I agree as long as neither party is married then a little flirting isn't so bad. On the other hand, if both parties are single then WHY nonverbally agree that it isn't going to get out of hand; unless its against policy. Just be careful

 
Old 09-14-2006, 07:23 AM   #6
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2CBK
I have a question that I'd like some people's opinion about.

Do you think non-sexual flirting is ok...in the work place? If two adults nonverbally agree that fliting wouldn't get out of hand, do you think it would be ok?

What I mean by non-sexual flirting is saying certain things sweetly such as "I made it just for you(with a wink)" or making compliments about the other in a sweet tone.
my opinion is that it's inappropriate and a little obnoxious in the workplace.....I wouldn't do it, and agreed with the other poster who said, it's always sexual.....who do you think you're kidding.....non-sexual flirting?
it doesn't exist....pffft

 
Old 09-14-2006, 08:27 AM   #7
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

Quote:
Originally Posted by redsoxgirl2418
flirting is basically always sexual...But why would you want to flirt if there was no sexual thing going on, anyway?
What more need we say???

Besides, why at work? Why not do it outside of the workplace where you can really do it right?

 
Old 09-14-2006, 08:34 AM   #8
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

you will get a reputation for being a "tease"......aren't you a little old for that? I'm guessing you're out of high school, by the fact that you're in the workplace.

 
Old 09-14-2006, 05:01 PM   #9
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

Why do you all assume it's ME flirting????

My coworker has been acting a little too kind to another and she asked me if I thought she was out of line. I really couldn't say yes or no. Yes, b/c it's in the workplace. And no, b/c they're both single. I know how some relationships can go bad and when it happens in the workplace everyone gets affected (those who are close).

 
Old 09-14-2006, 07:06 PM   #10
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

I have to say that I have worked in the same place for 4 years, and our office is probably the least professional one on the planet. Everyone laughs and jokes and flirts....we all have outgoing similiar personalities. we are all married but two. Its all harmless, no one is really attracted to each other we just have fun, it breaks the stress of the job.(we have very stressful jobs dealing with the public) All our spouses know each other and we all socialize outside of work, and we are just the same outside of work as in work. It can be okay, but I think my situation is alittle rare to have this much fun at work.

If its innocent I dont see the harm in it, as long as it doesn't encroach on the others in the office. Sexual harrassment is not a joke. If you are uncomfortable with whats going on you need to make someone aware, and give them the opportunity to stop.

 
Old 09-14-2006, 08:38 PM   #11
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2CBK
Why do you all assume it's ME flirting????

My coworker has been acting a little too kind to another and she asked me if I thought she was out of line. I really couldn't say yes or no. Yes, b/c it's in the workplace. And no, b/c they're both single. I know how some relationships can go bad and when it happens in the workplace everyone gets affected (those who are close).
I'm sorry!
I just did! If you were just reading your post, and you hadn't written it, wouldn't you be assumming it too? I made an oops....I know you should never assume....
ok so it wasn't you, it was your co-worker.....what's your gut instinct? what was your FIRST reaction when she told you (even if that reaction was to yourself).

 
Old 09-15-2006, 05:26 PM   #12
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

I'm sorry, too, that I didn't include that vital info in the beginning.

It wouldn't be so bad if the other co-worker (who is sort-of a superior, but in a different field. Not one of her bosses), was kind to the other staff. He has been known to be a real jerk to some, but to her he's really sweet and very accomodating. Also, he flirts with some others, so she is not the only one. He also tried to flirt with me. I told him I was married, but didn't really back off. I finally gave him the cold shoulder. Finally got him off my back. I have a feeling he's scoping out the field.

I normally wouldn't say flirting is all bad b/c I've heard what they say to each other and it doesn't seem sexually oriented, but the fact that it's occuring in the workplace can make things alittle uncomfortable for others. Some coworkers kind of flirt to each other, but it's more of a joke, like what angeleyes said in her post.

I know my friend only thru work, so it's not like we're close enough for me to tell her how I really feel. Do I grin and bear it? She knows that he flirts with other gals, but should I burst her bubble and tell her he continued to flirt with me despite telling him I was married?

I know my friend is not wanting to marry this guy, I think she's just leading him on. I want to tell both of them to knock it off, but don't think it's in my place to say so.

Last edited by 2CBK; 09-15-2006 at 06:12 PM.

 
Old 09-16-2006, 10:07 AM   #13
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

the thing with flirting is that it usually leads to other things! I'm not saying don't be friendly, but downright flirting is a whole other matter! Some people get the wrong idea if you even give them the least little attention. You may flirt with other people, and they will get mad because they thought it was only them you were interested in. Women are especially bad for that. If a man shows us any attention, we are quick to assume it means more than it may actually mean. Just be careful because you don't want to put your job in jeopardy.

 
Old 09-16-2006, 02:20 PM   #14
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

I'm not real sure that I'd even worry about it since it is someone else. They
aren't likely to do anything you suggest anyway. Some people are just that way. I think lots of men and women kinda like the feeling that out in the public or work rather, other people are kinda flirting with them. I don't want there to be hard feelings between your friend and you. Especially since the two of you aren't very close but yet still have to work together. If you do say something I'd just say it out openly and kinda sarcasticly..."Alright now, you guys ya'll kinda getting sweet over there....Now this is work ya'll keep it down." Maybe not those exact words but something like that that will get the point across but laugh while saying it and kinda joke. I think they will understand where your coming from. Hope this helps kinda.
Be Good To Yourself
Patti

 
Old 09-16-2006, 07:42 PM   #15
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Re: Flirting dangerously?

Their right to tease should not superceed the other co-workers rights to have a stress free enviornment, other than task oriented normal stress associated with a work place. If the banter to going beyond good taste and is considered inappropriate to those who are subjected to it, then you can in a serious but not threatening way point out they crossed the line. Make sure they know that the lighthearted teasing is okay.

Office romance if it comes to that usually makes everybody tense. If its going well, you have to see it and if it turns bad you have to live through the break up and choose sides. Its a no win for everybody and usually ends in someone quiting.

Good luck, keep us posted.
angeleyes

 
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