This past month, I had been working on a freelance project and met a guy on the job who peaked my interest. We seemed to hit it off alright, but I found myself acting aloof around him much of the time and I fear that I never really got the chance to find out if I had peaked his interest as well (the project is over now). It's this defense mechanism that I seem to have developed: one second I'd be quite friendly and chatty with him but later I'll convince myself he isn't interested and act cool and detached.
In retrospect, he showed signs of digging me, but I feel like I can't trust my intuition anymore; I had my heart CRUSHED a year ago by someone who very clearly seemed to like me, but ultimately, he just strung me along and blew me off (never got a reason why). Ever since then, I have felt pretty hopeless when it comes to love & dating. I am not ready to put myself in the position to be rejected and to be honest, haven't even really met anyone who I was interested in anyway (til now, that is).
I'm going to a party very soon and he'll be there, so it should be interesting to see what may happen outside of a working environment when we're all spruced up and looking fab (a short dress and hot boots are part of my plan
). But any advice on how to curb my tendency to act like I don't care would be very much appreciated, for this situation and ones I'll encounter in the future. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle against my dejected self-esteem and I'd like to feel like I may come out the winner for once