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Old 09-14-2006, 05:58 AM   #1
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Why wont he see my point?!!

Hi

Been with my BF for 31/2 years and living together for 2. For the past 2 years we have endured real financial difficulties due to my low training salary, meaning that i could only contribute so much and he carrying the bulk of finances. Fast forward til now and i am now qualified and earning on a par with him. However, during these last 2 years we have fought over money and quality time no end. He believes that he sees me all the time and i am the only person he ever spends time with out side work therefore when he goes out with mates he wants breathing space but I think that just cause we live together we still need to make the effort to spend quality time doing together i.e.no housework!! he feels he lives with me so that should be enough! however, my point is that when i ask him to spend time doing something else like go for a walk, the cinema whatever, hes like no we cant afford it however, a few days later he out with mates!! now he says this is beacuse he has saved up a little bit of cash over last few weeks and wants to go and chill with mates cos he hasnt seen them and as he lives with me then he seem me all the time. but why cant he see this would upset me if all the time he telling me no and anything that he hs reserved he spend with them!! i am not objecting to him going out by any means but surely he can see my point?? can any of you?

 
Old 09-14-2006, 06:00 AM   #2
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Re: Why wont he see my point?!!

Also i am moving 3 hours away in a few weeks for work and i am worried that when i do get back home for weekends he wont want to spend anytime with!! he is looking for a way out??

 
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Old 09-14-2006, 06:02 AM   #3
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Re: Why wont he see my point?!!

well maybe you'll find something better and won't be interested in continuing this relationship with him........let him have his friends.....will they keep him warm at night?

 
Old 09-14-2006, 11:49 AM   #4
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Re: Why wont he see my point?!!

I was sort of the opposite. I was making the bulk of the money and my husband was laid off for months. He wanted to spend and I wanted to pay our bills. I spent my time working 40 hours a week and than coming home and caring for the house. During the week he would want money to go play golf, hunt or run with his buddies. He finally got a job bringing home some good money, and got too be somewhat of a work aholic. Actually it was more like, when I wanted too do something with him he ethier had no money, no energy from work or he had too work oevertime. However if his brother or buddies called and said hey lets go hunting had no problems mustering up the energy too go. I finally asked him why he even bothered to marry me if he never wanted to spend time to do things with. I told him I was not his slave, I deserved and needed attention and I understand I don't exspect to come in 1st all the time in his life but I also don't feel I should always come last! He changed his attitude for a little while and scrambled to kiss my you know what. He even helped with housework! He ended up going back to his old ways soon after so I started to ignore him and his needs for everything including attention. I used the escuse that we never communicate and since I am not a mind reader I didn't know what he wanted washed for work or cooked for dinner. He eventually got the point and is now much more attentive. I hope me experience helps. As for your question.. Why don't they see the point? I still haven't figured that out yet! I just think if you can make them feel how they are making you feel they seem to understand it better than fighting over it an stressing your point time after time after time! It's like when you do that it goes in one ear and out the other.

 
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