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farceur66 · 09-16-2006, 08:29 PM

Well I havent posted on here in a while. I am still healing from my split with my ex-husband. Well the time has finally come .... he has a full time girlfriend.... one that hangs out most days and evenings at the house that I spent months fixing up. Seeing the one you once loved and shared a life with moving on really hurts. In some sick way I guess I hung onto hope that things might still work out between us.

We have been talking/texting daily and he even indicated he was still working on him before he could work on us or anyone. He even begged me months ago not to date and to give him time... time to do what.... find a full time girlfriend. Then one day he started acting really mean to me and we didnt talk for almost 2 weeks. Needless to say I found out that he had a new girlfriend. I feel like I was just used all this time... like his back-up. I feel so stupid and used.

He is still talking to me (actually alot more texting than talking). Actually sent me a text the other day saying he really cares for me and that he is soooooo sorry he hurt me. That I am the wonderful one and he is not wonderful. That he knows he is hard to live with... blah blah blah.

I drove by his house tonight. Her car is parked in the driveway and the bedroom light is on. My heart is hurting and also feels so betrayed. To be honest I have no desire to date right now and get back into the date games.

Thanks to all that listened to my sadness.

spinnybrunette · 09-17-2006, 03:11 AM

I think you know what you need to do here deep down inside. He is not being entirely forthright with you about what he wants. Do you think he may want to have his cake and eat it too? Have both of you in the picture? Have you confronted him about it?

farceur66 · 09-17-2006, 04:48 PM

Actually I do not want him and have realized a little over time that he was a true jerk. I guess he if changed completely but I know that is not possible. He is a miserable person who enjoys making those around him miserable. At first he comes off as being a wonderful catch - - with all the wonderful qualities most women are looking for. After a few months the real Rob comes out... he whines and complains alot... like all the time. We went on vacation with my mother and father and my mother said Rob was wearing her out. Everybody felt they had to walk around trying to please him. He is a grouch and his true self will show itself to this new girlfriend. Actually he agreed he has a problem with the complaing thing... complains ALL the time about every little thing. He really didnt keep me from dating because I havent had the desire to date anyone in a long time... maybe this relationship just took too much out of me and I need time to relax without a man in my life.

No matter what it is hard seeing him with another - - even worse knowing she is in MY house... the house I fixed up.... the house I helped decorate after I moved out. It is my fault I am alone but I prefer it that way. I would rather watch a good movie alone on Saturday night than have to put up with the dating games right now. I look back now and feel like a fool. I wish I never did the things I did for him. My mother told me I would one day regret being so nice and generous to him after he left me.

plasva · 09-17-2006, 09:18 PM

I'm sorry you're going through this

Try not to be hard on yourself. True, your ex did not deserve everything you gave him, but at least you gave your "all" to the relationship and can look back without regretting that you didn't. You can know you did your absolute best, and that he's the one who didn't. He's the one who will regret losing you, but now you get to spoil yourself: with movies, taking yourself out for lunch, getting yourself a massage or manicure, etc.

It's okay to mourn the loss of your relationship for a little while each day (set aside 15 minutes each day, or however long you need), but it's all about you now, and you no longer have the stress of listening to his complaints! When your "mourning" is done for the day, you can just be good to yourself allllll evening/night/weekend long. That's a very nice thing, no?

One day, you won't miss him. You might think about him every day, but you won't MISS him or have regrets anymore.

Remember: you you you. Splurge on YOU.

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