it just seems like every time that my boyfriend of 5 yrs. and i break up, he feels the need to go screw someone. what should i do? i know he only does it out of anger and rebound, but still. I know that I have done it to, so no need to point fingers, but it just isn't right. we are going to get married next year and have been doing really well, but what happens when we hit that bumpy road again?
She can't exactly forget it ever happened, considering the risk of STDs (condoms do not protect against Herpes nor HPV) and the fact that he treats his sexuality and health (and her health) with such disregard.
If you both want to get married, you should go to premarital counselling. If you belong to the same religion, your place of worship probably offers it. If you're not religious, ask around (at work, friends, etc.) for someone to recommend a good relationship therapist. You MUST work out these problems before you make vows, so that you don't keep breaking up over the same nonsense.
I think you both are using SEX as something it was never intended to be. You both are very immature to get angry or break-up and then go find someone to have sex with. Thats not fair to each other and by no means is it fair to the person your bringing into this relationship by having sex. Either is you should be scared enough for the other as your highly likely to get an STD.
Then if your reputation is founded NOONE will want to sleep with you when your broke up because you might have a disease. There are several diseases that take months or years to show up. So I believe I'd be watching out if I were either of you. Sex is not a bargaining chip. Its a serious committment or at least if was intended to be between husband and wife. I'd seek professional help and try to grow up.
Truthfully, if you've broken up several times and had enough time between the breakup and the 'get back together' to sleep with someone... what exactly is it in the relationship that keeps bringing you back? Either of you?
It seems weird, to break up so many times, go sleep with someone else, then come back together. IF you're planning on getting married, "breaking up" again isn't an option so you really shouldn't be concerned about either of you sleeping with someone else in theory - for the rest of your lives.
Go to counceling to find forgiveness or to understand why you guys feel the need to breakup whenever you hit a rough patch instead of communicating and working through the hard times together, and that, I would think, would probably solve your problem!
it just seems like every time that my boyfriend of 5 yrs. and i break up, he feels the need to go screw someone. what should i do? i know he only does it out of anger and rebound, but still. I know that I have done it to, so no need to point fingers, but it just isn't right. we are going to get married next year and have been doing really well, but what happens when we hit that bumpy road again?
It's time to break the cycle.....walk away from this toxic relationship. You're doing nothing but hurting each other.....why bother getting married, you'll just end up getting a divorce or cheating on each other.
Do the best thing you can.....once and for all.....end it and don't start it up again. Let it die..........
I think that if you really did love each other, even when you break up for awhile, you wouldn't sleep with other people. I mean, how long are these break ups? Months? Or just a couple of weeks? If it is over a period of several months, I suppose sleeping with someone else might occur. But if you or he jumps into the sack with someone else after just a couple of weeks, then this probably isn't the right relationship to be in for the rest of you life. You can try some counseling but seriously think about whether or not this is going to work for the rest of your life. Is he ready to be with you and only you forever? Probably not if he still has to get some from other women.
