It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-18-2006, 05:54 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Franklin, KY
Posts: 4
annay8s HB User
should i stay?

it just seems like every time that my boyfriend of 5 yrs. and i break up, he feels the need to go screw someone. what should i do? i know he only does it out of anger and rebound, but still. I know that I have done it to, so no need to point fingers, but it just isn't right. we are going to get married next year and have been doing really well, but what happens when we hit that bumpy road again?

 
Old 09-18-2006, 05:57 PM   #2
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Palm harbor, Fl
Posts: 11
always down HB User
Re: should i stay?

If you guys are broken up then its ok. Just forget it ever happend when you get back togther.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 09-18-2006, 10:38 PM   #3
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 470
plasva HB User
Re: should i stay?

She can't exactly forget it ever happened, considering the risk of STDs (condoms do not protect against Herpes nor HPV) and the fact that he treats his sexuality and health (and her health) with such disregard.

If you both want to get married, you should go to premarital counselling. If you belong to the same religion, your place of worship probably offers it. If you're not religious, ask around (at work, friends, etc.) for someone to recommend a good relationship therapist. You MUST work out these problems before you make vows, so that you don't keep breaking up over the same nonsense.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 07:48 AM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 182
Shorty39 HB User
Re: should i stay?

I think you both are using SEX as something it was never intended to be. You both are very immature to get angry or break-up and then go find someone to have sex with. Thats not fair to each other and by no means is it fair to the person your bringing into this relationship by having sex. Either is you should be scared enough for the other as your highly likely to get an STD.
Then if your reputation is founded NOONE will want to sleep with you when your broke up because you might have a disease. There are several diseases that take months or years to show up. So I believe I'd be watching out if I were either of you. Sex is not a bargaining chip. Its a serious committment or at least if was intended to be between husband and wife. I'd seek professional help and try to grow up.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 08:58 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: California, CA, USA
Posts: 1,117
Destea HB User
Re: should i stay?

Truthfully, if you've broken up several times and had enough time between the breakup and the 'get back together' to sleep with someone... what exactly is it in the relationship that keeps bringing you back? Either of you?

It seems weird, to break up so many times, go sleep with someone else, then come back together. IF you're planning on getting married, "breaking up" again isn't an option so you really shouldn't be concerned about either of you sleeping with someone else in theory - for the rest of your lives.

Go to counceling to find forgiveness or to understand why you guys feel the need to breakup whenever you hit a rough patch instead of communicating and working through the hard times together, and that, I would think, would probably solve your problem!

 
Old 09-19-2006, 09:34 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,344
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: should i stay?

Quote:
Originally Posted by annay8s
it just seems like every time that my boyfriend of 5 yrs. and i break up, he feels the need to go screw someone. what should i do? i know he only does it out of anger and rebound, but still. I know that I have done it to, so no need to point fingers, but it just isn't right. we are going to get married next year and have been doing really well, but what happens when we hit that bumpy road again?

It's time to break the cycle.....walk away from this toxic relationship. You're doing nothing but hurting each other.....why bother getting married, you'll just end up getting a divorce or cheating on each other.
Do the best thing you can.....once and for all.....end it and don't start it up again. Let it die..........

 
Old 09-19-2006, 09:50 AM   #7
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 745
minnesotagirl HB User
Re: should i stay?

I think that if you really did love each other, even when you break up for awhile, you wouldn't sleep with other people. I mean, how long are these break ups? Months? Or just a couple of weeks? If it is over a period of several months, I suppose sleeping with someone else might occur. But if you or he jumps into the sack with someone else after just a couple of weeks, then this probably isn't the right relationship to be in for the rest of you life. You can try some counseling but seriously think about whether or not this is going to work for the rest of your life. Is he ready to be with you and only you forever? Probably not if he still has to get some from other women.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Should I stay or should I go? paperhearts Relationship Health 5 01-24-2010 11:28 AM
should I stay or should i Go? bebe1016 Relationship Health 20 08-21-2009 10:39 AM
Just Diagnosed...What Should We Expect? And About Heat, Does it Affect You A Lot? CandP Multiple Sclerosis 5 03-21-2007 06:55 PM
Should I stay with her? Eric_Cartman Relationship Health 3 10-18-2006 04:02 PM
should i stay or should i go? StuckinaRut Relationship Health 7 07-15-2006 01:48 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (272), rosequartz (255), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (97), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (904), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), midwest1 (668), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:35 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!