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Old 09-19-2006, 08:27 AM   #1
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Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Well im a freshman in college and i sit next to a buddy of mine who met this other girl (not interested in her, they're friends), and i was introduced to her so the three of us sit together. Im not the best at initiating conversations with females, especially when i have someone who knows what im like peering over my shoulder, today he was out and i just talked to this girl for a good bit. We get along really well, we acknowledge each other and so forth. Today i found out we have a pretty similar taste in music, and we have a couple of other similar interests. So we actually had a good, flowing conversation today.

Im pretty sure she isnt interested now and wouldnt have too much interest even if i tried because of a fault, but im still planning to at least give it a shot. Does anyone have any advice or anything on how to take it a step forward, and maybe spark her attention? I was going to walk with her after class today but she always gets up and leaves pretty fast, not from me, she just goes alone all the time. So i didnt feel like catching up to her.

And from the people who helped out before, i tried with Laura again and things didnt work out so now i just force myself to see her as just a friend. Things with that other girl who i talked to for a bit also didnt work out. So now im more than likely up for another let down, but im going to at least try.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 08:55 AM   #2
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Just a word of advice in general... most of us have to go through SEVERAL relationships and let downs before we find someone that is really our match. I don't think I know more than maybe 2 or 3 people out of hundreds that actually found their "one" on the first or second try. You're focusing quite a bit on that for such a young guy, give it a chance. You definitely have a LOT to learn about women, relationships, and life - to expect you'll figure it all out or get it all in line right away is a pretty big expectation of yourself.

Just go with the flow, talk to her, whatever - if she's interested you'll know, if she's not she'll let YOU know. Either way, practice makes perfect. It's going to take a few failed or non-relationships to find someone right.

 
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Old 09-19-2006, 09:03 AM   #3
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Oh im not looking for "the one", im just looking for a girlfriend, someone to have by my side for a little while who shares similar interests.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 09:44 AM   #4
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

It is hard to give the right advice to you since I don't know you or this girl. I can't say what is going to interest her, I don't know what you have to offer that might interest her. I suppose that since you have similar music interest you could try to find a concert in your area that both of you would enjoy and then invite her to go with you.

You said she wouldn't have much interest in you because of a "fault." What do you mean by that -- what is the fault? You sound less than confident. I can tell you that most women are attracted to confident men (just like most men are attracted to confident women). I'm not saying conceited, but girls prefers someone with a healthy sense of self esteem.

One thing you want to make sure is that she's single. She might have a boyfriend. Perhaps that's a good starting place---ask her if she is single. You can probably gauge her interest level with her answer. If she says "I have a boyfriend" then you know to back off and only be her friend. A simple question in casual conversation, perhaps talking about a recent activity or event she went to, then asking who she went with. Or asking who she hangs out with the most, you can position it as you want to see if you know the same people. If that doesn't bring it up, you can flat out ask if she's single, then make some comment like "yeah, it's hard to meet people these days." If she says "yes, I'm single, why are you asking?" and it is in a flirty way, that's when you go in with the date question. If she says "yes I'm single but not looking" then she's probably not interested.

I hope that helps!

 
Old 09-19-2006, 10:08 AM   #5
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Well she plays videogames a little, i found that out awhile ago, its kind of cool i guess. Then today we were just talking and i asked what music she likes, she told me, and i asked if she is familiar with Iron Maiden, and shes a pretty big fan. I told her im going to go see them in concert next month if she wants to go, she said she'd love to but i told her how much the whole thing will cost and she said she'll see what she can do. I doubt she can go, it is a bit pricey, which is why many people cant go with me.

But i am confident in talking to her, im just not confident in flirting with her or taking it a step farther. As for my fault, i mentioned it once on this board, i really dont like talking about it. But its my voice, and ill leave it at that. Its probably what steers girls away the most.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 10:13 AM   #6
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redsoxgirl2418 HB Userredsoxgirl2418 HB User
Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

well...if a guy asked me to go to a concert with him, but then told me how much it was and that I'd have to pay for myself, I would think that it was just a 'friend' thing, because usually when someone asks someone else on a date, guy or girl, the "asker" pays...just my take on this.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 10:23 AM   #7
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

And i agree with you 110%, but i mean, the plane ticket is $260 and the concert ticket is $50, plus other expenses, so probably a good $350ish total. I can barely afford that for myself, especially since i quit my job yesterday. I hope she doesnt expect me to pay $350 for her lol. Thats beside the point though.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 11:16 AM   #8
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Lazer - why don't you just let this friendship evolve for a bit and then see where it goes. Every girl that you see and talk to doesn't have to be a potential girlfriend or someone you all the sudden ask out. When I saw your headline, it is like all the others. Are you going to keep asking the same question with each new girl you strike up a conversation with?

My advice - keep chatting with her and get to know her really well - then ask her out. She may not have much interest in you right now, but she may in a month or so, after she gets to know you better. JMHO.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 11:51 AM   #9
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

I didnt plan on asking her out in the next couple of weeks, i meant how do i get things kicked off, how do i take it to the next step. I didnt mean anything about asking her out, right away at least, and im not so sure she'd want to in the future anyway.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 01:16 PM   #10
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Wow, I read alot of your posts and just have to give my 2 cents. I think you put way too much emphasis on having somebody to date. You are trying too hard to be with someone. If you just laid back, relaxed, and stopped putting so much pressure on the subject, maybe someone will come along when you are least expecting it.
Not having a girlfriend or just having a date for that matter is not the end of the world. You are young. There are much more important things in life.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 02:01 PM   #11
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

I'm going to have to agree... not every girl you speak to or spark a new conversation with has to be a potential gf or date. If you just started recently talking to her why don't YOU give it some time and get to know her before instantly jumping to wondering if you can date her? Most people do like a 'warm up' period to see if there really is an interest! Get to know more about her, have casual, friendly conversations, if you or she finds after you get to know one another that you'd like to start flirting or take it further, it will happen on it's own

 
Old 09-19-2006, 07:24 PM   #12
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Well this is off topic.

The odds of her being able to go are at a good 5%, if that. The original friend i was going with never said no, but he is fondling with the money a bit too much and he claims he can still go, but i highly doubt he will, he is just saying that so it doesnt hurt my feelings. Now my other friend who i invited, his parents wont let him because its missing school.

So from the looks of it, im travelling to Michigan all alone just to see my favorite band play.

 
Old 09-19-2006, 08:42 PM   #13
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Actually, you are off topic. Off your own initial topic actually. Your thread title wants advice about a girl, already assuming that you will be letdown, and now you are only concerned about going to a concert alone??

 
Old 09-20-2006, 05:06 AM   #14
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Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lazer 77
Oh im not looking for "the one", im just looking for a girlfriend, someone to have by my side for a little while who shares similar interests.

Lazer - your words are contradicting themselves. You do want a girlfriend and you are looking to take the relationship with this girl "to the next level".

You are already at the next level - she notices you and talks to you. Leave it at that. Infact, let her ask you out when she is ready! What will happen...will happen. We can't give you any advice on here that will force something to happen.

 
Old 09-20-2006, 06:54 AM   #15
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MrZeely HB User
Re: Need some advice with this one girl, probably in for another letdown.

Ah, well i meant that in another sense, i meant it in the way that i want a girlfriend, but i want to take it to the next level to get her as a girlfriend. Not that i want her as a girlfriend who is a bit more than a girlfriend, no, im not expecting that nor do i want it now. But you do realize that if i just leave it how it is now, thats all it will ever be, right? If i let her take the next move, ill be waiting forever...

 
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