I live in Dysfunction Junction..HELP!!
I dont know how to start this. I am 49, happily married for 32 years, with 3 children, and 2 grand-daughters. My mom never took care of me, she never married my dad. I lived with my grandparents. Through years of therapy because of all the anger I felt toward my mom for walking out on me, I finally thought I had come to live in peace with what happened. I have been for the last 5 years to try to establish a mother/daughter relationship with her. I never knew my dad. But I am finding it impossible to do!! I cannot trust the woman as far as I can throw a cow!!! Everything I tell her in confidence, within a few days, is the fodder for the main gossip circuit. We live in a small town. It has happened over and over and over, and I always forgive her. But this time, I don't think I can. She told my son some things I told her in complete confidentiality, and our family has just blown into pieces!!! I am angry at my mom, my son is angry at me, and his 2 sisters are angry at him and my mom. My husband said he always knew you can't trust my mother, so thats why he never has had much to do with her. Anyway, what it boils down to is that my youngest daughter is getting married in 3 weeks. Now my son said he is not going to her wedding, he called her an f------- b-------. My mom said she won't come either. Someone please give me an idea as to how to deal with all this!!!! I have had a pounding headache for the last 36 hours straight. To help clarify the seriousness of this, what my mom gossiped about is not just some trivial crap. It is life-altering, heartbreaking information, and she betrayed me. I feel totally to blame for this, and really stupid for even thinking I could trust her, because the day I told her, I really needed someone to talk to. Now, not only have all my old trust issues come flooding back, but my children are at each others throats. Suggestions please. Do I never talk to her again? Keep her out of my life for good this time, or what? My daughters never, ever got close to her, and they never thought they could trust her. They don't now for sure. My therapist says the opposite of hate is indifference, not love, but I just don't know. I feel years of hard work with my therapist just got flushed down the toilet!!! I don't want my children hurting either. I can hurt, I have it down to an art form, but not them!!!! Heartbroken and angry in Wisconsin
Last edited by rag_doll; 09-19-2006 at 09:29 AM.