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Old 09-19-2006, 09:03 PM   #1
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3 years of an unblanced "see saw" and she's 7 months pregnant

Ok so I've been in this relationship for almost 3 years now. (I'm 30 she's 26) The first 6 months (honeymoon) were great it seemed as if this was the women I was to marry. At about the 6 month mark I started seeing very obsessive thinking, as well as super high and low mood swings, and was told of previous dignoses of bi-polar. I on several different ocassions been ready to leave only to find my partner do whats needed in the relationship, as well as tell me how much she's learned and how it's not going to happen again After dealing with this on several ocassions I was finnally getting to a finnally point when health problems arised with her (mild strokes) and I truly do love her so a stayed supportive and for a a month she was a good partner once again, but after the month it seemed we were going down a bad road once again. During the time of these strokes we talked about birth control, as the pill was not an option anymore, she didn't want to think about other forms and said she was told by a doctor she could not get pregnant. She stated that even if she did get pregnant she would have an abortion, due to the fact she never thought she could get pregnant. Well she show'd up pregnant and well just one more promise that was never made she pretty much never even considered abortion because she newely relised that a child has feelings starting like the minute it's conceved. I have been trying to support this decision, while letting her know how much I didn't want to support children in my life. I want her to relise that while I am going to be a the best father I can be, I want her to take on the responsibility of being responsible than I. This I feel is important to give me the chance of not having to be so damn responsible all the time.(in most situations I end up more responsible than my peers) The first three months of the pregnancy were great once again I had this women I wanted to marry times worsend as she got further along and I keep having to let her learn many lessons that I am part of because of being a partner, I feel as if my willingness to be here for her is only appriciated when it's convienent to her, she wants me to be so strong and caring for her, but can start fights that last days about me stating she may be asking for too much of me, instead of just trying to do more for herself. At this point I relise that she is definetley going thru hormonal imblalances, but it feels just like what I've been dealing with for some time. I really want to give more to myself as I know I have been giving too much to others in life, and not much to myself. I feel torn because I want so badly for my son to have a mother and a father in his life. She has some great qualites but needs to work on behavoral problems in my opinion. I don't know if I can or should stay here for the abuse while she does, heck she may never get there! We've started counseling for the second time, were going to different counselors. I just feel like I'm trying so hard for someone other than me again, although now at least it's a part of me Any suggestions, I really need some outside encouragement as to what may or may not be good for me...

 
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Old 09-20-2006, 10:34 AM   #2
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Re: 3 years of an unblanced "see saw" and she's 7 months pregnant

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation.....
she's manipulating you and she will continue to do so......
it's too bad you took her word that she couldn't get pregnant, and also that if she did she would get an abortion.....so that's twice that she lied to you about very serious issues.....
If I were you I wouldn't marry her. If the child is yours, you should definately give her childsupport and be a part of the childs life, but if you want to maintain your sanity, don't marry her....it won't get better, just worse.
Have you read any of the threads of people who are with bi-polar spouses?
Go to the bi-Polar board and read some posts by a guy named "distroyed"
You may re-think this whole relationship.

 
Old 09-20-2006, 06:15 PM   #3
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Re: 3 years of an unblanced "see saw" and she's 7 months pregnant

Well I too am sorry that all this is taking place. Did I miss it somewhere or did you say how old the two of you are? Anyway, ABORTION why in the world would she or you want an abortion when there are so so many people or in the world that can't even have children that want them so very badly. If you didn't want the responsibility and I see that you don't, then give that precious baby to someone that will love and cherish it.

Also, it is your responsibility to make sure YOU aren't gonna get her pregnant TOO. Not just hers. YOU are part of this!! Why would YOU want her to take on anymore responsibility than you. What happen to sharing it? And if your gonna get married YOUR suppose to be the bread winner. Which makes YOU head of household.

DONT try and make this out to be ALL her faults your talking about.

 
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