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Old 09-24-2006, 05:55 PM   #1
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JBravo223 HB User
Unhappy I can't let go...

eta: screw it

Last edited by JBravo223; 10-08-2006 at 06:43 PM.

 
Old 09-24-2006, 06:07 PM   #2
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: I can't let go...

I know you're having trouble accepting it, but the only thing you really can do is...accept it. If she is saying she wants space and wants to be on her own, then that is what she wants. I think the best thing to do is to just leave her alone, even if that isn't the easiest thing. Chasing her down and trying to call her will likely just annoy her more...and certainly not endear you to her any. Maybe she'll start to miss you...who knows. But you can't force it.

I'm sorry about your friend. But why would you start smoking again if you know it could be really bad for you (or well, worse that smoking usually is for someone). I understand it helps with stress, but you have to look out for yourself, bud. Don't fall apart over this relationship and let yourself go. There are still so many other aspects of your life that require attention and care.
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Old 09-24-2006, 06:13 PM   #3
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Re: I can't let go...

..............

Last edited by JBravo223; 10-08-2006 at 06:43 PM.

 
Old 09-24-2006, 07:21 PM   #4
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Re: I can't let go...

Trust me, you're not a loser bud. A lot of us have had that kind of reaction to a relationship that is slipping away. I know I have, several times. Sometimes we just don't wanna take the hint. The only thing you can do though is learn from your mistakes.

A guy with low or no confidence is definetly a huge turn-off and very annoying. Even if you don't feel very confident, you have to fake it or at least not let it show so much. If you keep on asking your SO "Are you sure you want to be with me? Are you sure? Are you sure?" Then what is going to happen of course is that they are going to start to think, "Well, no...I don't." You certainly do push someone away by doing that.

So now all you can do is bow out gracefully. Start focusing on yourself a little more...take care of yourself!
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The grass is always greener on the other side...until you get closer and see that it's astroturf~

 
Old 09-24-2006, 07:41 PM   #5
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JBravo223 HB User
Re: I can't let go...

I just got off the phone with her... She didn't have anything new to say... but I did.

I told her that I love her but I am not going to continue to love someone that doesn't want to love me back. I told her that I have a lot to offer someone and that I wanted that someone to be her but I would not continue to fight for this relationship if she doesn't want it. I told her that it's going to be hard to find someone that would love her and cherish her like I did... and then I said goodbye.

At this point I didn't know what else to do except say goodbye.

Maybe she will come around, maybe she won't. But I am going to pick myself up and move on. I plan on joining a gym tomorrow so I can start to feel a little better about myself physically...

Last edited by JBravo223; 09-24-2006 at 07:52 PM.

 
Old 09-24-2006, 08:56 PM   #6
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Fabat40 HB User
Re: I can't let go...

JBravo,

Be kind to yourself, give yourself some time and of course you won't be able to let go at this point. It just happened so recently and I'm so sorry you're going thru this.

But I agree w/Gypsy, you're not a loser and right now, bow out gracefully and gather your dignity again. Whether this girl comes back or not, right now, you need to concentrate on one person and that is YOU.

Peace.

 
Old 09-25-2006, 05:04 AM   #7
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JBravo223 HB User
Re: I can't let go...

It is killing me to wonder if she is seeing another guy; more specifically the guy she works with that I saw at the bar.

 
Old 09-25-2006, 08:39 AM   #8
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Re: I can't let go...

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBravo223
It is killing me to wonder if she is seeing another guy; more specifically the guy she works with that I saw at the bar.

Don't do this. It's amazing what your imagination can come up with. Just try and focus on other things - Go to the gym, go for walks, go out with friends - Just stay busy. Time heals most wonds - The rest it just tends to bury.

 
Old 09-25-2006, 12:13 PM   #9
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JBravo223 HB User
Re: I can't let go...

she had to call me today for something work related and I basically told her what she needed to know and said that I can't talk to her anymore... she sounded shocked and said " are you serious??? " I said yes, and that I miss her and that talking to her isn't going to help me get over her and then I said goodbye again...

The truth is that I didn't want to get off the phone, I wanted to talk to her, I don't want to have to move on but I have to because that is what she wants (or thinks she wants).

 
Old 09-27-2006, 04:42 PM   #10
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plasva HB User
Re: I can't let go...

I'm sorry you're going through this.
It's very very hard, I know.
Joining the gym is a very good idea. Try not to smoke... even if you have to turn to junk food temporarily.

 
Old 09-28-2006, 12:11 AM   #11
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BarnStormin54 HB User
Re: I can't let go...

Hey man, I know exactly how you feel right now. About 4 months ago my girlfriend of 4 and a half months and I broke up and I was really torn up about it. Like you, I had put everything I had into the relationship, and really opened my heart up to her. Eventually, she decided she didn't want to be in a serious relationship anymore and we had a rocky last 2 weeks of our relationship, and it ended with the break-up. We ended up just laying in bed together crying for an hour because it was hard on both of us.

We stayed friends for a couple weeks, but then I found out that she was looking for a serious relationship again right after we had broken up (which was the reason!), and I asked her about it. Her reply: "I don't have to explain anything to you." I was so shocked and heart broken, as we had become best friends, and she didn't even have to guts to admit this to me. I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore, and we haven't spoken since... that was 3 and a half months ago.

Anyway, I know how you feel, I'm more sensitive than the average guy, and it made things harder on me. I miss her terribly, because while we were dating, things were unbelievably perfect and smooth. I thought we would be together a long time. I wish I could talk to her, but then I think about how it was her that decided to end things, and act that way, and I get mad and say "to hell with that."

All you can do is let the train full of heart-break hit you, and get back up and carry on. It's hard but you just have to remind yourself that it will get better, and you will meet other girls.

 
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