HealthBoards

HealthBoards (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/)
-   Relationship Health (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/relationship-health/)
-   -   This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/relationship-health/432653-really-dumb-but-i-hate-feelling-wrong.html)

*Spaz* 09-28-2006 10:43 AM

This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
Okay as silly as this is. I gave Mike a hard time about getting my nails done. I really do not like having fake nails...they're dull and they get in my way when typing or opening a soda stuff like that. Well he hates my natural nails because they wont grow out very much and they break pretty easy so they are never the same length. I'v never really been bothered but he begged me to get some fake nails. I really can't afford the $20 it cost every two weeks to keep them up, but he said it's 20 bucks your spending on yourself for me. I said I'd get them, but he had to pay for the fill ins. Is this wrong of me to ask? He says he doesnt ask for much and that I should be willing to do this for him....Grr


Oh and I got the nails yesterday

keepsgoin 09-28-2006 10:53 AM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
I know what I would have done...first of all I wouldn't have had my nails done...period, unless I wanted them...but say I did give in and he was making such a big deal out of it HE would have been paying for them NOT ME!!!!! JMHO and maybe one not shared by all women but I can't stand fake nails but I am lucky and my real nails grow like crazy and always have. The really bad thing about having acrylic nails is that your real nail has to be file down and roughed up which makes them very weak and just having them covered up with that acrylic is very damaging to your nails and your nail bed. Just keeping your nails filed evenly and painted with clear is easy maintenance and looks very nice.

browneyed-babe 09-28-2006 10:54 AM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
Get them done only if he will pay. This is an unnecessary expense that he is asking for. Tell him to foot the bill.

Personally I have never had my nails done as I find it a waste of money. Money that I could spend on clothes, etc. My husband could care less about nails so it isn't an issue for us.

It is an issue for your guy, his issue, hence his $ should be spent on it.

GypsyArcher 09-28-2006 11:45 AM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
They are your hands...and if having fake nails annoys you, why would you get them just to please somebody else? I know just how you feel because I cannot stand for my nails to be even the slightest bit long, and enjoy clipping them down as far as possible.

Why is your boyfriend so preoccupied with your hands? I'd tell him if he likes fake nails so much, then maybe HE should get some.

minnesotagirl 09-28-2006 12:09 PM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
I think that your bf should just accept you for you. I'm assuming you didn't have long nails when you met so he should be OK with it. That being said, I've had the same issue with my BF. I cannot grow nails for the life of me. I have a bad habit of biting them though, so it is kinda gross and something that I've always wanted to change but can't stop the habit. My BF, in the past, has sometimes grabbed my hands and been like "why don't you do something about this?" WELL, I had tried fake nails in the past and hated them. But one day I decided to give it another shot. And I really liked them this time. So did my BF. I started wearing them all the time, but then I just stopped having time to put them on or didn't have money to go buy more -- and my BF understood when I told him the cost. Now I only wear them for special occasions. I think my BF is fine with the knowledge that when I want to get really dressed up and all that, I'll include my nails in the process. This is something I'm happy about, too.

BUT, I wanted to point out that I use the $6 nails you can get at any store and put them on myself. Would this be an option for you? Of course, they don't last as long. But, I know I couldn't (and my BF knows) afford to get them done in a salon.

What I would do is explain to your boyfriend that while you would love to please him and make him happy, that you cannot afford to do so. Does he only want a wealthy woman? You just need to tell him that you can't afford it. Make it very clear. "If I keep this up, I won't be able to eat lunch at work anymore. I cannot afford to do my nails."

bulletproof 09-28-2006 12:33 PM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
Be very wary of someone who says you should be willing to do this one thing or that one thing for him. It is a bit manipulative. He should be willing to accept that you find long nails uncomfortable or incovenient. Maybe a compromise is that you do it for special occasions, but asking you to wear them all the time is a little unreasonable.

Another red flag is the phrase "I don't ask for much". He shouldn't be a martyr. If he's not getting what he wants from the relationship, then why is he in it?

Destea 09-28-2006 12:56 PM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
I agree with bulletproof, what a cheap card to play!! "If you loved me you would xyz"... what a horrible manipulation. I'm sure he doesn't MEAN to be a jerk about it, but imo - he is being a jerky.

If you don't like them, don't want to pay for them, and hate having them done - there is ZERO reason you should do it. Regardless of whether or not he pays. It really does make your nails even MORE weak, and it is very expensive to keep up.

Tell him if nails are such a big deal he should find a girl who feels the need to spend that kind of money on something so superficial (not to say fake nails ARE, but he's being awfully superficial to focus so much on this if you're not a fan!).

Just my two cents :P

Chez19 09-29-2006 01:12 AM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
Wow your man is a bit picky isn't he! Don't get them again if you dont like them. I agree that they get in the way and I don't think they look particularly nice either when they're too long.

If he's that pedantic... let him shout you a manicure once a fortnight in stead.. That way you can keep them short but still nice. And that way you're doing something for yourself! At no cost to you!

*Spaz* 09-29-2006 09:02 AM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
Wow! What a reply! When we started dating I did have fake nails. I was just trying them out. I kept it for about 2 months....but only a month while dating him. Then my job started having me do maintenance so I had to get rid of them because picking at electronics with them was tricky and I didnít want to drop a screw in one of our radios and not be able to fish it out. Well now that I'm out of the military I don't do it anymore... so I guess he figures I should go back to getting them done. Just about everything ya'll said was what I said to him. I do feel he was being a bit manipulative. I told him he was paying for the fill ins. I will absolutely refuse to pay for those.

Even though I hate them I am getting used to them again and I guess I feel like if it makes him a happy then why not? He does give me pedicures and stuff, maybe I can get him to put on press ons or something? He likes me to look classy which I am unfortunaltly a bit of a redneck. T-Shirt and jeans. I always wanted to dress nice and stuff and he has helped me pick out stuff, I have no fashion sense. Well now I'm just rambling and probably making up excuses so i'll sign off on that note.

punkybear 09-30-2006 08:27 AM

Re: This is really dumb, but I hate feelling wrong
 
[QUOTE=bulletproof]Be very wary of someone who says you should be willing to do this one thing or that one thing for him. It is a bit manipulative. He should be willing to accept that you find long nails uncomfortable or incovenient. Maybe a compromise is that you do it for special occasions, but asking you to wear them all the time is a little unreasonable.

Another red flag is the phrase "I don't ask for much". He shouldn't be a martyr. If he's not getting what he wants from the relationship, then why is he in it?[/QUOTE]
I agree. A big red flag goes off in my head when a man gives the slightest hint of being controlling like this. He is being very manipulative. A friend of mine's husband started with little things like that and now controls the way she dresses and even demanded she die her hair blonde and chemically straighten it even after the stylist tried to warn them that this would seriously damage her hair. This was after he made her get a perm and decided he hated it. Then he told her she needed to go to the Mac counter and learn to do her makeup "right." Be careful with this one; something doesn't sound right. He either loves you the way you are or he wants a barbie doll.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:38 PM.