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Old 09-29-2006, 02:24 PM   #1
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Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

I got dissed by this girl at work. I am not trying to get with her or anything because I am not normally attracted to her type and she has a kind of ghetto attitude. Anyway my friend does pretty good with girls and is funny and overall just has pretty good game. We were talking after we closed at work and were waiting to leave and he was telling me all these things about picking up girls and things he looks for. The girl was listening and she was of course disagreeing. She talked about how she knows the game and shes learned her lesson before and that I shouldnt listen to what my friend said and told me "Dont listen to anything he says because I can tell your an amateur"...ouch that hit me hard.

I am normally just a quiet laid back guy so I dont really talk alot. I never even tried to get with her so its not like I was trying to game her or anything. I honestly have no idea how girls can just tell that you are single or know you dont know much about the game, especially if I barely ever talk to her. Only thing I can come up with is because I am quiet sometimes. Either way its frustrating to hear something like that. Im not going to lie, that killed my self confidence alot and now I keep hearing that in my head over and over. I need to do somethin fast. Any advice would help. Thanks

 
Old 09-29-2006, 03:05 PM   #2
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

OH please, don't worry about what she said. What a stupid thing to say. No, girls can't tell how experienced a guy is. And, so what if you are a bit inexperienced. It is totally normal to be young and not have had too many dates or whatever --- believe me, there are plenty of other guys and other girls out there just like you with the same insecurities. It may seem like everyone else is getting "game" but that's just because you focus your mind that way. That girl was just spitting out her ghetto attitude. I would be sarcastic in return. Say something like "oh yeah I'm a real amatuer, I could not even get my grandma to kiss me." hahahaha. Then laugh. Laughing at yourself is one way to overcome those situations. Or you could have joked something like "Yeah, the models at the playboy mansion kept telling me how amatuer I am." hahahahaha. Does that sound like it would work to get her off your back?

One thing the girl was probably right about is how she disagreed with your friend. She probably does have a better understanding of what girls want than your buddy. BUT, you got to know that all girls are different and it really does depend on the individual as far as what a girl finds attractive.

Sure, your outgoing friend probably does do well with girls because he is outgoing. I'm not going to lie and say that us quiet people (I can be quiet too) don't have a harder time meeting people -- not just members of the opposite sex but if you're on the quiet side you probably find it more difficult to meet new people in general.

One thing I can tell you is that girls are attracted to confidence and self esteem. You can still be quiet and have a healthy sense of confidence.

And hey, just because you are quiet and even if you're not that experienced, or a so-called amatuer, doesn't mean girls won't find you attractive. Some girls are even more attracted to the quiet types. And, some girls definately like someone who has less experience and hasn't been with a million different girls. Actually, most girls feel that way.

I bet when you do find a girlfriend -- and don't worry, there is no rush -- that you'll treat her very well and probably better than your friend. And that is what is truly important.

But hey, you say she has a ghetto attitude. Bringing you down a bit by making that comment probably made her feel better about herself and that is the main, deep reason why she said it. Of course she doesn't realize that.

So please, stop worrying. Girls will come sooner or later.

OH, and who wants someone with "game"? Only other people who play games. Trust me, you don't want to get involved with game playing when it comes to relationships. Most girls find that a total turn off. What you should do instead of playing games or whatever, is just be yourself!

Last edited by minnesotagirl; 09-29-2006 at 03:08 PM.

 
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Old 09-29-2006, 03:12 PM   #3
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

Duuude stop trippen. Why are you even listening to a ghetto chick?.... Let me tell you something and i'm one picky broad.....

It's not whether you have game or not. Because straight up if some guy comes up to me and tries to spit ANY game AT ALL, it's a total turn off because well what do guys only want when they spit there so called game? I hate being treated like a peice of meat.

Game in my opinion, is a guy with a great personality. When I was single and guys would come up to me at the bars, clubs, streets, grocery stores lol I would maybe talk to say 1 out ever 10 guys, right? Well that one guy I did decide to give my time to was because he was just genuinly nice, kind, polite, had a good sense of humor, easy to talk to- he wasn't some guy who acted all weird, and talked too much, or just spit some game....

Someone with TRUE game doesn't need game. Get it? your personality just gets the girls by just being YOU. As long as your a good guy and have good intentions then you have no need to worry. So stop fretting over that comment your co-worker said.

It's Friday, relax and have fun!

 
Old 09-29-2006, 03:27 PM   #4
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laurie864bla HB User
Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

My X was VERY quiet. VERY. Laid back is an understatement. Not many people even really know him b/c he doesn't show himself to too many people....

Honey, ALL the game in the WORLD!!! Seriously...the MOST game I have ever, ever experienced...lol..

I think a lot of girls like the quiet ones...we never know what we're gonna get..and that, I find is intriguing!!!

 
Old 09-29-2006, 03:41 PM   #5
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by minnesotagirl
One thing I can tell you is that girls are attracted to confidence and self esteem. You can still be quiet and have a healthy sense of confidence.

OH, and who wants someone with "game"? Only other people who play games.
Totally true!!!! Those are some really good points......

 
Old 09-29-2006, 03:46 PM   #6
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

Have you ever heard the term "Better to remain quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." ? There is a lot of truth to that. Personally, quiet guys kind of intruige me. That almost shows more confidence than some idiots that talk too much. It is a turn-off to me when a guy is too pushy or arrogant. Quiet is kind of sexy. That girl doesn't sound very classy anyway. I wouldn't listen to what some ghetto-chick said. She's probably just trying to feel you out because you haven't ever hit on her and her feelings are hurt.

 
Old 09-29-2006, 03:57 PM   #7
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by punkybear
I wouldn't listen to what some ghetto-chick said. She's probably just trying to feel you out because you haven't ever hit on her and her feelings are hurt.
I don't know why i'm getting such a kick out of this thread.. That is so damn funny though what punkybear said. So funny. her feelings are hurt. hahahhaha...

Theres something else I thought of after I read Lauries comment- I find the most men that attract me ARE the quite ones... those are the ones with the true umm.. game.. I don't want to call it game though cause well game isn't necessarily such a great thing from a womens point of view... but just had the skills then ;-)

 
Old 09-29-2006, 04:05 PM   #8
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

Thanks for the replies lol. I thought some were good. It was just when she said that, that it bothered me and it lowered my self confidence a little. Guess ill just have to show her then. Thanks again

 
Old 09-29-2006, 04:57 PM   #9
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

I can't imagine many things less attractive than a guy who thinks he has "game," or has all these theories about how to play the game and get a woman. Yeeeccccchhhhh. I have always, always gone for the laid back, quiet guys who'd never think of themselves as pimp daddies. Please don't feel bad or feel that you're lacking in any way. Just keep being yourself dude, I promise you're fine.
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Old 09-30-2006, 08:17 AM   #10
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

I am going to put a different take on this situation and what she said. Depending on how she said it and what your friend was saying to provoke her comment she might not have meant it negatively. She may have said it because she thinks your friend is a jerk and doesn't want him giving you bad advice to make you act the way he does. When she said you are an amateur what she could have meant was you are not player who uses women. She may have seen your friend as a negative influence on you.

Don't take it so hard. It really doesn't mean anything. I agee with other women that it is the self-confidence and respect that draws us to certain men and that has nothing to do with being quiet. Often the guys that do the most talking are just that "all talk" and we can see right through them.

 
Old 09-30-2006, 08:31 AM   #11
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Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

I have a friend who I work with who I get along with fine, but there's one aspect of him I hate...He can be sometimes arrogant. He fancies himself as a player, and he often goe's on about how many girls he's slept with, and that he can get any girl into bed, and I hate the fact that he claims he has no guilt about cheating on his past girlfriends. I'm the opposite, I'm quiet, humble, and I have respect for women. I hate the fact that his type makes it sound like all girls are easy, and that quiet types dont have a chance of success.

 
Old 09-30-2006, 11:32 AM   #12
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BetsyJean HB User
Re: Does being quiet or shy project you as having no "game"?

"game"' is meaningless:

when it comes to who you marry
when someone you love dies
when you need reassurance
when you choose the parent of your child
when you are hurt and need comfort
when you want someone you can trust

 
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