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Old 09-30-2006, 10:22 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2003
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Graham81 HB User
Im new here! (great crowd in here)

First off i'd just like to say that its interesting to hear people talking about relationships from both a male and female perspective, not that there is always such distinct differences, because we find people can be so different from what we expect and as individuals we reserve that right, right?

Well i'm a 24 year old male whose trouble within a relationship has been communication.One of the things I have increasingly grown to think is so important within relatiosnhips. HoweverI know people deal with things in different ways, but I have always been quite open with my feelings within my on and off relationship of 3 years, while she has been one to not really talk very much, and not talk about things which are bothering her. We seem to bump heads in this sense a lot, and I am feeling weird because well Isn't it typically the guy who runs off to his cave and has to have talks about feelings shaken out of him? One of the problems I think has been that we are from very different backgrounds. I mean I am from quite a hands on and affectionate family whereas she isn't and she finds it harder to get closer to people. The problem is that our differing approaches kind of drain us both. It's like I am saying " we should probably talk" while she is saying " Talk? why would you want to talk?". Arguments which come up never really get resolved, and it causes a lot of resentment. I really have never felt so drained, because I dont like bottling things up but I seriously wonder whether it is just me being needy in expecting her to care about what Im thinking and feeling sometimes? Just to ask would be nice. She also has a a hard time expressing her feelings, so things which I value in a relationships such as spontaneous affection etc, she doesnt seem to be able to give that very easily, and it always comes back down to me wondering whether I am expecting too much, or whether we just aren't right for eachother?

I used to think I could fix things, within a relationship, (maybe its a guy thing), but now im of the opinionthat sometimes its not our place to try too much, and sometimes we should walk away. My dad has always said we arent right for eachother and maybe hes right. But I didnt realise being around someone could be so draining? But ofcourse, I feel kinda bad for feeling drained by someone I really do care about.
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