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Old 10-01-2006, 12:01 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Centerville, Iowa, USA
Posts: 17
b-rad HB User
Ex-Gf wants to be friends

Topic says it all. My last thread I started here was about some of the problems we were going there. Well, I finally said enough's enough and ended it. This is after she took the liberty to start us up on a 32-week long bowling league.

...

...

Yeah. So I leave the night after we break up, and she texts me if I'm still going to bowl, and that I should because it will get my brother out of the house (he's on our team) and away from his horrible girlfriend. She's bad, just trust me.

But on the other hand...i care about this girl, deeply. That doesn't just fade away for me. She says she still cares a lot about me, and that bowling together is going to be hard, but we should do it because we've already paid for it and started it with her neighbors/mom/my brother. But on the other hand, she treated me like dirt compared to what she could have over the last 2-3 weeks of our relationship. When i tried so hard to do what i could to keep it together and she couldn't even lift a finger to help. I'm really thinking about just calling it quits with her totally and completely because I know I do not (and more than likely will not) settle for just friends when it comes to her.

Oh, and the reason we broke up? She became so inaffectionate, you would not even believe we were going out. People would seriously ask, friends and family, if we were still dating. That's how inaffectionate she was. I told her I tried to give her time to get used to it (all her ex-bfs cheated on her, didn't give her affection/attention or the time of day a bf does that would care about her, so that's all she knew) but I just couldn't handle anymore. I took her aside and explained to her exactly that she feels smothered because her other bfs spent maybe 1-2 days a week with her, even though they lived with her. Didn't even spend the nights with her sometimes, and she dated that guy for nearly 2 years...And yeah, I'm done with it until hopefully she mends from dating him and is ready to try a fresh new start. Who knows, maybe someday in the future.

The question of the night is: Do i quit the bowling league? Does that make me look like a big jerk? I really don't think so right now, I more or less see it as she deserves it for A)Not coming out with how she felt over the final 2-3 weeks of our relationship and B)For not even trying to work things out or talk to me about things, just letting things willfully fall apart and watch me try and miserably fail.

 
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Old 10-01-2006, 03:20 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: MN
Posts: 675
Veronica_Mars HB User
Re: Ex-Gf wants to be friends

For what it's worth, I don't think you should go ahead with the bowling league. It sounds like you don't really want to and that you know it will be difficult being around your ex, so why put yourself through that? It's hard enough to get over breakups, but especially when you still have feelings for the person and wish it would have worked out, it's better for you emotionally to keep your distance for awhile. Seeing her regularly would also probably make it harder and take longer for you to totally get over her. That's just my opinion though obviously...anyway I hope you find someone who will appreciate you and be affectionate with you before long who will make you forget all about your ex. You deserve a lot more than your ex was willing to give.

 
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