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Old 10-01-2006, 04:54 AM   #1
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Angry She did it again, and I feel worthless

Well I don't really feel worthless but I think she is trying to make me feel like that...

on Wednsday my ex and I decided to work things out. During that conve she had asked a couple of different time what I was going to get her for her birthday... Fast forward to yesterday...

We went out for dinner and her sisters kept trying to call her. When we left she said "I have to be honest, my family isn't to happy about me being out with you right now" I took her back to her house and she said she would try and smooth things over with them. Well she called me about an hour later telling me how this isn't going to work, how I am a risk for her job (we used to work together, and this just seems absurd to me), how she doesn't think this could work, etc...

I then told her that she had a lot of nerve and that she was doing me a favor. I told her that she was selfish and heartless, and that asking me for gifts while we were talking about getting togther showed how spoiled she was. She told me that she only kept asking for things to "turn me off". I really feel like crap... how could someone treat another person like this? I feel like throwing up

Last edited by JBravo223; 10-08-2006 at 06:40 PM.

 
Old 10-01-2006, 06:45 AM   #2
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

Jbravo
People that do what your ex did are only thinking of themselves and have alot of growing up to do. Unfortunately some never do get that and stay selfish and cold their entire lives.I just do not think this ex of yours really had anything left to offer you I just think you two being together was'nt meant to be.You are right she has done you a huge favor by breaking it off,I know it hurts,but now you can move on knowing you gave it your best shot and it's her loss. Hnag in there the hurt won't be there forever and you will find someone who truely deserves your love.

 
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Old 10-01-2006, 08:45 AM   #3
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

I've been following your story for a while. You appear to be allowing yourself to be controlled by this girl, who is treating you like absolute crap. Your only course of action right now should be to GET RID OF HER and don't look back.

Immediately cease all contact with her and never speak to her again. No phone calls, no emails, no text messages, nothing. Stand up for yourself and don't let her or any other woman in the future, take advantage of you like this ever again.

You appear to be one of those "nice guys" who needs to grow a spine. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying, quit being a doormat and stop letting some spoiled stupid idiot girl run your life for you. And instead of feeling like you have to throw up, go and get angry about how she's treating you and use that anger to improve your life and make your life exactly what you want it to be.

At the end of the day, you are better off alone than in this crappy relationship. You need to take some time for yourself right now to realize that you deserve to be treated a lot better. For you to take her back again, after everything she has done to you, shows yourself a lack of respect. You need to love yourself more and stop going back to her! It's going to be the same thing over and over again, she will NEVER change, do you understand that?

Stop putting yourself through this and just END IT already! Kick her to the curb and don't ever look back. Remember, no calls, no emails, no texts, NOTHING. And you don't even have to explain yourself, just don't ever have any contact with her again and let her be the one to wonder what happened. Because you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that for the first time in your life, you stood up for yourself and did something good for yourself that ended in your favor.

 
Old 10-01-2006, 01:16 PM   #4
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

Thanks guys... I did try and contact her today but she would not answer the phone. Her sister ended up calling me... she started off by calling me crazy, then she said she wanted to send me $200 for taking her out to dinner and then said who the hell are you to say that she doesn't deserve an engagement ring from you?

I left my ex a text message saying that I have had enough, that I wish things could have ended on a positive note, and that I think we should both go our seperate ways...

I realize that this relationship has turned really bad... I guess I just hyped myself up after a few months when we started talking about marriage. I really thought this relationship would work out and I am really sad. I have no intention of calling her ever again, she's already got more emotion from me than she deserves... I just don't know how things got so bad, I mean I really loved her, still do... I guess I am weak right now... I went through a big back surgery and the recovery was physically and emotionally draining, I lost my best friend to suicide three months ago, it's just so overwhelming and I find that right now I really need someone in my life to make me feel whole.

I guess I try to call because I think I can fix the situation but I know I can't. It hurts to know that her family doesn't like me anymore because I had become very close to them. I have no idea what she told them that made them dislike me, but I haven't done anything bad... I was very attentive, caring, loving, considerate, loyal, and even put her feelings before mine.

I don't like how things turned out. I wish they were different but I know I need to not have her in my life at this point because she isn't good for me anymore.

 
Old 10-01-2006, 04:30 PM   #5
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBravo223
it's just so overwhelming and I find that right now I really need someone in my life to make me feel whole.
That's what you need to try to fix, now. You have to learn to realize that you're ALREADY whole as you are, and that you honestly don't NEED anyone to make you whole. Having a relationship should be a supplement to an already whole person, not the attempt at completion of a person.

If you live your life continually trying to find someone to fill that void in your life that needs to be filled by YOU, you will live your life trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. No one else in this entire universe can fill that void, you are it. Each one of us has to realize that we are whole and complete and perfect as we are. And there will come a point where you realize that you don't actually NEED someone for a relationship, because you'll start enjoying having time to yourself.

Please just believe me when I tell you that your life will be 100% better on your own than it would ever be if you stayed in a miserable relationship with a bitchy girl like that who disrespects you and makes you feel like crap all the time. Relationships are not supposed to HURT. They are supposed to be fun and fulfilling and a two-way street. But you're the one that did all the work, which is totally not fair.

I know that's a lot to ponder, what I just wrote, but I hope you'll think about it. I'm telling you, on my worst day as a single person on my own I was STILL happier and more fulfilled than I ever was in any of my crappy relationships that made me feel bad. That is a fact.

 
Old 10-01-2006, 05:04 PM   #6
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

I am seriously at the point where I regret ever being with this girl. The grief that she caused me in the last two months far out weighs any of the "good" times. I hope that I never hear from her again. I will never call this girl. She does not deserve one more tear from me. I just wish I didn't try to get her back because I am sure she thinks I am desperate. I guess it is for the better... she had this fantasy that she would get to sit home and not work once we got married, even if we didn't have kids. She wanted to be showered with gifts but she didn't deserve them. She wasn't that affectionate, she didn't like to kiss and the sex was so so. I don't really think I lost someone all that special now that I sit down and think about it. She'll probably end up miserable just like her sisters...

 
Old 10-01-2006, 07:17 PM   #7
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

Awesome, you're on the road to recovery already! Now you've made the decision not to call, please, for your own sake, do NOT ever contact her again. Even if she comes crawling back begging you, just erase all of her messages, emails, text messages, whatever - don't even read them. Just hit DELETE! And move on.

Your life belongs to you and you alone. You get to call the shots now, because you're on your own. No one else gets to tell you where to be at what time and when. You get to set your own schedule and do whatever you want. If you feel like staying home on a Friday night and watching movies, GO for it!

Actually, when I was single, I started really looking forward to the weekends because I was totally loving all of the time I had to myself. I got so many things done around the house! And I literally went out and started doing all of the things I'd always wanted to do but couldn't because I was tied down with someone who didn't like the same things or couldn't be bothered to do these fun things with me.

You should not rush into finding another relationship now. You should seriously take a lot of time for yourself just re-discovering who you are and what you're all about. Remember what your emotions feel like when they are not dependant on another person. And remember what your life feels like when you are not constantly having to check with someone else.

When you eventually do find the right person, you will know because it will be effortless. You won't feel like you're doing any work and you will just be yourself because that person won't try to change you or make you into something you're not. That person will accept you the way you are and love you the way you are because that's what happens when you find the right person. If you ever find yourself in another relationship where either you keep trying to change or you keep trying to get the other person to change, then it's NOT the right relationship. It's about finding the person who will just let you be who you are and not try to make you into something you are not.

I really hope this is sinking in. If I knew then what I know now I could have avoided a ton of heartbreak and BS in my life. But I'm telling you the stuff that I learned over the last 4 years that has literally changed my life. And it made it so much better.

 
Old 10-02-2006, 05:28 AM   #8
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

I am still annoyed that her sister called me. Who the is she to call me? Telling me that she is sending me two hundred dollars... if she does I'm going to send it right back. I am still sad but I know that I can't be with this girl... she is to unstable and immature for me... I can't even count the number of times she told me that she wanted to kill herself. she kept changing her story about why she wanted to break, then telling me that we should work it out, breaking up again, etc... all in two weeks.

The way she acted completely turned me off and I don't know how I could have gotten so caught up in the BS...

 
Old 10-02-2006, 07:59 AM   #9
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBravo223
I am still annoyed that her sister called me. Who the is she to call me? Telling me that she is sending me two hundred dollars... if she does I'm going to send it right back.
don't be a fool......I doubt that she will send you any money, but if she does, KEEP IT!!!!
JB - count your blessings, you're rid of her, she did you a favor.

 
Old 10-02-2006, 08:07 AM   #10
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

I should have listened to my instincts when we first started dating and I would see how she was always buying expensive shoes, expensive clothes, expensive bags, etc... and complaining that she was broke at the same time.

I really think that her parents did her a dis-service by spoiling her so much. She is always going to expect any guy she dates to buy her crap all of the time. She never expected me to buy her anything in the early stages but towards the end she did.

Don't get me wrong... her parents are very nice people but the definitly spoiled her. and her sisters are horrible also. they are so judgemental and don't think anyone is good enough for her. screw that. screw her too.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 12:25 PM   #11
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Re: She did it again, and I feel worthless

sorry, wrong thread

Last edited by duchess66; 10-17-2006 at 12:27 PM.

 
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