My Boyfriend Of Almost 2 Yrs Never Uses His Cell Phone Around Me. Its Always On Vibrate And He Never Pics Up Around Me Unless Its Family Or A Guy Friend That I Know. Ive Felt For A While Now That Hes Been Talking To Other Girls Or Girl. I Looked In His Phone One Night After Him Being Weird Around His Phone And Saw Calls To And From "k" No Name Just The Letter K. I Let It Go For A Long Time And Last Night I Walked Into His Room And He Was On The Phone And Hung Up Quick When I Walked In. When He Left The Room (of Course The Phone Was Off) I Turned It On And Looked And The Last Call Was From K. Then Later I Told Him That I Got A Strange Call From A Girl Named Katie (i Found That Was Her Name). And Didnt Know Who She Was. He Instantly Flipped And Said I Was Snooping And Made Me Leave. He Said That It Was An Older Lady Friend From Work That Has Cancer And She Asked Him To Talk To Her 20 Yr. Old Daughter Because When He Was 24 He Had Cancer. Hes Now 43. He Said He Can Never Trust Me And Broke Up With Me. And I Have A Problem And Am A Snoop And Cant Be Trusted In His House. I Tried To Explain That I Felt Threatened And Insicure That Something Was Going On Talking To This Person Alot And Not Telling Me. He Said Its Over. I Appoligized For Sneeking And He Stills Says Its Overl. Was I Totally Wrong. I Know I Shouldnt Of Done It But I Felt Like Something Was Up. Everytime I Call He Hangs Up And Says Its Over. Why Cant He Understand That I Am Scared That Something Is Going On And He Doesnt Talk When I Try To Ask--so I Looked What Should I Do. Thx
You say you questioned him about this before and he never would give you an answer well then that seems odd being your his g/f of 2 years.Also seems he was real quick to make a decision on breaking up with you kind of like he did'nt need to think at all .....maybe like he already wanted to break up with you? In my mind he gave you reason to check up on his phone because he would not give you an answer.The answer he did give you was only given because he was backed up against a wall (so to speak) so he had to say somthing.I just think either 1. The answer he gave you is a lie ..or 2.He left something out.....and 3.He already wanted the relationship to end.
I could be wrong but that is just how it all comes off to me
Last edited by tnmomofive; 10-01-2006 at 01:29 PM.
thank you for your reply, i really needed some feedback. sometimes hes so hard to figure out. he is very private and mainly with his phone, it just makes me feel like something is going on. he has since called me, i was very surprised to hear from him, he says he cant trust me in his house and says that i ruined a great relationship. i tried to explain that he makes me curious and nervous and look for things when he is so secreative with his phone. i told him that i should be able to come to him when im concerned about things that go on and if we talked that this wouldnt have even happened. when i asked him if he found my cell phone he said that was all i cared about and hung up on me. i called him back and left a message that if it was so innocent he would of talked to me about it and not flipped out so bad, and her name wouldnt just be under "K". no call from him since. so hard to figure out what to do, thx for listening!
I think a lot of people would have done the same thing. I think it is rude when someone hangs up their phone the minute you walk in a room. That is shady behavior. I think you should not call this guy. Do you really want to be with someone that makes you feel insecure and is so quick to end a two year relationship that quickly. It's been two years and this is the first time you looked at his phone, I say you had every right. I don't think you did anything wrong here. I know this situation is rough for you. Try and hang in... this guy has some explaining to do.
You said your boyfriend is 43 and he's acting like this. Are you SURE?? He sounds more like a 10 year old.
Do you really want to keep dating such an immature loser who keeps secrets from you? I personally wouldn't put up with that. Especially not from a 43 year old. He sounds so immature from his behavior, I can't even believe you're putting up with it.
Ditto...when I first read the post I was sure you and your boyfriend were teenagers. When I saw that your boyfriend was 43 I literally did a double-take and thought that had to be a typo.
I don't think it's right to snoop through somebody's personal things. But if he is so overly secretive and suspicious-acting, that isn't a good foundation for a relationship. I don't think it's right to snoop through somebody's phone, but I think your biggest mistake was completely fabricating the story of the Katie person calling YOU.
If you're with somebody and you feel like you can't trust them, then there is no point to being with them anyway. And if you have to resort to making up lies of your own in an attempt to catch your partner in a lie...that's just too much drama.
The grass is always greener on the other side...until you get closer and see that it's astroturf~
His actions warranted suspicion...I don't think there's a woman or man for that matter what wouldn't have found that suspicious and checked for the truth. Don't beat yourself up over looking...he was just simply looking for a way out and I'll betcha you will soon find him with "K" going out and having a grand old time!
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My Boyfriend Called Me Hours After Breaking Up W/ Me Over This Whole Stupid Thing. He Sounded Like We Didnt Break Up That He Was Just Talking Out Of Anger. He Said That We Have A Good Relationship And Im Always Looking For A Problem. I Told Him That The Whole K Thing Just Doesnt Make Sense. He Stuck To His Story And Asked Me To Just Trust Him And Stop Being So Insecure. I Know I Am But Sometimes I Feel Justified. I Think Well Stay Together But I Want To Start To Be More Independent And Have Interests Other Than Him. If I Suspect Something Like This Again Ill Probably Ask About It And Not Snoop And Then Move On.
I think that is a great idea to find other interests for yourself do things without your b/f sometimes we all need "our time".As far as what your b/f said well I can understand nobody wants to be thought of supiciously all the time but if he would be more open with you and not act shady (hanging up cell soon as you enter room) and showed better communication skills with you I doubt this would even be a problem.I hope this b.f of yours is not just trying to manipulate you into never questioning when he does questionable things some men will do this and can be qwite good at it so my advice would be that if you continue this relationship talk to him about being more open with you.I would'nt be searching for evidence of him doing wrong all the time but I would'nt turn a blind eye either.
If this story with this Katie is true (about the cancer), then why on earth would he hide that from you? If that were the truth, you would think that he would talk to this woman openly about it and would not have withheld that info from you. I think his story is bogus! If it were as casual as he claims.........or he is mentoring someone or whatever.........it wouldn't be so secretive.
As for you taking the actions that you did by fabricating a story makes you just as bad as him as far as relationships go.
I think you guys should just call it quits. When there is so much deception and lack of trust in a relationship, chances are it'll never work out.
Thanx For Everyones Responses, What I Left Out In The First Place Was, Ive Seen "k" On His Phone For A Couple Of Months, I Got Nervous That Something Was Going On Before And Looked Who He Had Talked To That Day And K Was On There A Bunch Of Times. I Cant Even Tell Him That I Saw It Before Because He Throws Such A Fit And Fights With Me That I Cant Get Any Words Out To Try To Discuss This Like Adults Then I Let It Go And Hope Nothing Comes Of It. Im So Afraid To Be Alone And To Lose Him. I Know I Sound Pathetic But I Dont Know How To Be Strong, I Really Dont Something In Me Takes Over And I Just Give In. I Went Threw A Divorce After 15 Years Of A Wonderful Marriage To An Alcoholic And Couldnt Do It Any More. I Can Go Threw Another Break Up Again. Why Do Men Ruin Good Things Why Do They Always Have To Take Me For Granted. Enough Of The Pitty Pot. Just Wanted To Fill You In. I Know He Is Lieing To Me And Its Sick But I Cant Walk Away Yet, Im Not Strong Enough Yet To Do It Again.
A couple of months you have seen this "K"'s number on his cell? Between that and the way he reacts to you when you ask about "K" it is obvious he is guilty guilty guilty of something.So each time you try to dicuss about this "k'" he gets angry and blows you off yep girl sorry to say but something is totaly up here.I remember when a guy was unfaithful to me and that is exactly how he would react and friends of mine same thing the guy would do whatever he could to avoid the "Talk" or lash out and run away.I hope you will be ready to rid of him very soon chances are you will never hear from his mouth that you were right but the red flags are there.
Summer: You like me are vulernable to the alcohol abuse. We let men treat us like crap while they sit back and think every thing is ok. You (and me) need to get a grip on life and learn how to live our OWN lives. I am as guilty as you, and It hurts so much. I see other people hurting like me and I still live my life the way I do, because I keep thinking it will get better, but it doesn't. I even have 3 kids with my man. He only feels he must go to work and give a preach here and there and he has done his duties as a man. We women need to stand up to these men and let them realize women aren't dogs, we are WOMEN! I also have the phone issue, he seems to get a phone call and always leaves the room or house. But I am always the one out doing wrong (remind you I come home and am always there to be MRS. Taxi). I just don't get these men and their head games (which they say we are playing the game) Does he happen to be a "Sagitarius"? I really hate that sign. I know there is men out there that is good! You need to do what you think is best. I personally felt if I stayed up my BF (OF 18 YEARS) butt then there is nothing he can accuse me of and I know what he is doing, but I don't want to be up someone's butt. IF you can do that, then do that. Make it fun and not like you are doing it just because. Plan some nites out doing things together. If "k" still pops up then delete her #. That is what I would do anyhow! Let him know you know without saying anything! Honey you have been through this and you could probably teach me some things but you do sound very young by your messages, so I think you need to learn to live for you! I will be there for you, cause I also need to learn to live for me and not this DH I have. I could go on for hours "TRUST ME"