I have been feeling extra-lonely lately. I just wonder if I will EVER meet the right guy for me. I am really tired of being this lonely. My only single friend has met someone and she is already in love with him. I am so happy for her, but hearing all about it has made me feel even more lonely (and I didn't think that was even possible ). What do you do when you are this lonely? I have a really full schedule with work, and other things that I am involved in. I guess I will just continue to stay busy, but when the weekend comes--that is when I really feel all alone. I am tired of going out, so there is really not much else to do to meet guys, so normally I spend my weekends shopping, reading, or spending time with family. The thought of continuing this endless cycle and never meeting anyone really scares me. Any ideas or thoughts are appreciated!
Well You've prob heard this before but you'll only find a guy when u stop looking. But its true, i met my boyf at a stage in my life where i was happy on my own. So I suggest joinin evenin classes/a gym/going to galleries etc (basically gettin new hobbies) but without the aim to meet a guy and start enjoying life, we only live once! I reckon when you feel your life is pretty gd and your not feeling so blue mr.right will turn up when you least expect it.
Is there a way you can schedule something for the weekend? I have a part-time job on Sat. and Sun. nights that keeps me so busy and I love having the extra cash. Plus I've met a lot more people working there. I also make sure that I make plans way in advance for the daytime part of the weekends, so that I never find myself just sitting around.
There are also Saturday morning/afternoon classes or volunteer activities available. Try to look at this period of your life as having lots of free time for you to explore anything you've ever wanted to explore, because when you do find someone to be with, you might be too busy to do the things you want to do.
I feel ya. I feel the exact same way. I hate it. Feeling as lonely as I feel is seriously scary sometimes. I moved out this year and live alone. Three of my friends got married last year, and 3 of them have babies now I just always hate feeling like the 3rd or the 5th wheel in almost every circumstance nowadays. I work all the time it seems like. I work long hours over the weekends, at a job where I just basically sit there for 12 hours a day. It is starting to get to me. I hate how I feel usually. I hate to say this but, I almost get sick when I see two people together in love. I don't really have any single friends anymore, or at least any that I see regularly. All my close friends are either married or in a ltr, and most my friends have kids now. It just sucks to feel like you don't have anything in common with your friends anymore. I came out of the closet at the beginning of this year and that was hard enough, and I am so glad I did it because it made me feel a thousand times better. I thought I would feel so much better and not be depressed anymore but, I feel more alone than ever....
You're not alone. i know exactly what ya thinking and how ya feeling as well. I fell for a guy who I know will just treat me as a friend. But he aways does things and concerns about me beyond the limit of what a friend should do. He text me almost everyday to ask how was my day or even text me good nite.Sometimes, he is cold towards me. Say, he wont text for few days. I always want to keep a distance from him because I know I shouldnt be like this I must move on but I feel hurt. Sometimes, when I keep a distance, he will approach me but on the other hand, sometimes he will also stay away from me. When I ask him whats wrong with him, he will say I stay away from him. Anyway, this guy is simply driving me crazy. He makes me confused. Make me think of him day in day out. And I feel very lonely as well...so, you're not alone...
ah well, it is SO true when they say it'll come to you when you stop looking. man, ive been single for 4 months after a little over 2 years..and i was so intent on finding somebody that i drove myself up a wall...and i wore myself out...then i stopped looking, and an absolutely nearest to perfect guy asks me out...so unexpected...i dont think im ready for a relationship yet but the fact is, i stopped looking and he kind of just fell right into my lap...
I do sympathise. It is a horrible feeling - I have been feeling it since my last relationship ended very suddenly not out of my choice just over a year ago.
I have spoken to god knows how many people about it and everyone has a slightly different view point but I have come to a few conclusions that act as some kind of 'comfort' if that's the right word. They might be different for everyone but for me they are:
1. Love is a gift that is given at a time completely out of your hands. All you can do is be ready to accept it (admitedly much easier said than done).
2. Don't compromise your own standards. When you feel alone it is all too easy to ignore certain things that ordinarily you would not 'accept'. In my view it's better to wait for the right person than accept a compromise just to be with someone sooner (have been there, done that and it isn't nice).
3. Accept the feelings you experience and let them naturally work through your system. It isn't nice when you are going through the upset, feeling alone etc. but you will be more than aware when you come out the other side. Personally I now have bad days and good days. When a bad day happens I do my best to accept it, embrace it for what it is with the knowledge that I'll probably feel different tomorrow.
4. Do your best to be YOU. I have tried so many times to change myself in different ways to fit in with different people etc and it has always ended up with me feeling even worse (and normally quite silly!). The best thing about being in love is that two people love each other for the people they are.
I am probably far too romantic for my own good but firmly believe there is someone out there for all of us. I know that words don't mean much when you feel upset, lonely etc. but if it is any comfort I know you will move forward and be happy in the way you want.
Keep your chin up and wish you all the happiness you deserve x
Oh my!! I feel like all of you do. Some days I felt I was the only person out there feeling like this. I have been single for over a year now and its starting to eat at me.
I have the random guy where there is mutual interest but its like he is scared to go any further.
I am very busy during the week with activities and work. Then on the weekends I am in a new house and landscaping the yard myself and seeing family and going to parks and such. I have done the whole "find yourself" deal and have become VERY happy with myself. Yet still no one. My confidence lacks a little but whose doesn't?
It is very hard to stop looking. How do you stop worrying about it???? I am sure we are all at the point in our lives were a ltr is the next step. So how do you stop thinking about it and looking for it?
Oh well..maybe one day I won't be so lonely.
Oh well, everyone is correct with their point of views. Get ourselves busy with work and activities to 'find ourselves' so that we can be happy.But what about after all those things were over? We will be back to alone again rite? And when there is time we have to be alone, we will start to think a lot again. As for me, I just couldnt get rid of that guy outta my mind so I think I will forever feel lonely until I meet that Mr Right one day
Though I really can't give you any positive advice - I'm at the point where I can barely function myself.
Just wanted to say I'm right there with you, because I am all too familiar with that feeling. So please don't give up! * hugs* - CC
Hi CC!! It's good to hear from you and I'm glad to "see" you too !
You don't give up either!! Which, I guess from what others are saying, we should just "give up" as far as looking for guys.
I really haven't been looking for anyone though, and there certainly hasn't been anyone to "fall in my lap" so to speak. I don't know. What is really aggrivating (and I know you can relate) is having to deal with family members bothering me about being single.
Anyway, hopefully we will meet the right guys at some point---I just hope that it is sooner, rather than later!!
Hey Glamourgirl!! I haven't been on the boards much lately because I'm insanely busy in my final year of grad school, but I just happened to log in today and what is the first thing I see but your post. Crimson, Hi!
Hang in there girls, and guys. I know exactly the kind of feelings you're talking about. Being super busy helps to an extent but still not completely. Lately I've reduced my needs to two very basic ones: sleeping and eating, as I haven't had adequate time for either one since September. I feel extatically happy if I can go to sleep by midnight, but still, sometimes I find myself longing for more. I met some guys in the meantime, but no-one who's right for me. Just some dates with only lukewarm chemistry at best. To help myself feeling better, I made a list (I read it somewhere as a suggestion) of the characteristics I would love in my ideal guy and ideal relationship. Then when I have a minute of free time, I imagine myself being with this person, and how we relate to each other, and focusing on how it makes me feel. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but it does help to at least elevate my mood and sometimes I really feel like this person is already in my life, it feels so real! I I think that saying "what you resist, persists" is often true, and when we feel excruciatingly lonely and generally down, we are not likely to attract that right relationship. Sounds like a catch 22, yes, but from experience I can definitely attest to it. There is no easy answer to this--I think it has to be true that when we're ready, really ready to welcome that special person into our lives, and that person is also ready for us, things start falling into place almost magically. I, too, hope it happens soon for all of us and then we can share with each other how happy we are and how beautiful our relationships are Have a great weekend! Sophia
I can certainly empathize with your situation. Since my divorce, I had hoped to meet someone but it has hardly gone as smoothly as I had hoped. As I mentioned in another post, I tried the online dating deal which didn't work for me. I was a very good husband and would make a very good partner/husband for someone else. Being alone can really hurt but I was very alone during my marriage. At least, now, I have a chance to meet someone. It's difficult to find the right person and I'm afraid to make another mistake. Plus, the dating world can be pretty nasty and dishonest. Plus, I'm a teacher and don't make the kind of money that many women seem to require here in California. Someone told me that when I give up on meeting someone, that's when the right person will come along. I haven't given up but I'm not going to sit in front of my computer doing EHARMONY anymore. The Hell with that!!
I agree! I don't really want to pay to have to meet someone. Of course I don't know where to meet guys right now.
The one I talked about in another post is just too d*** wishy washy. So I am trying to get that crush out of my mind and leave my other options open. It's just sad when I had such a strong feeling about him.
Anyways I am rambling. I pray that everyone on the post finds the man/woman of their dreams!!
I understand how you feel and I'm not going to tell you to "stop looking, he's around the corner", or "keep yourself busy", or "finding your man won't take away your loneliness", but the last statement is true. But you already know all those crappy sayings.
Hang in there. I wish I could wave my hands and take away your feeling of loneliness. I still get lonely too.
It's okay if you're lonely, what you do with your loneliness is what matters.
One day, you'll look back & you will miss these quiet times.
I understand how you all feel. I am going through the loneliness of being alone right now. The pain hurts, but I tell myself it just isn't my time yet. I mean I have great friends and family, but I miss that one aspect of having a partner in life. You know!? It doesn't help when everyone around me has a significant other either and they are constantly talking about them. Gets really irritating and at times you think they have no respect for that fact that you are hurting at the moment. I am generally extremely happy with my life right now I just miss that one aspect. It does get extremely lonely. I have learned to acknowledge the loneliness rather than try to pretend like I'm not. I have given up on looking for "love". Rather I am taking the time to spend it alone with myself. So, it is just me, myself, and I for the time being.