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Old 10-03-2006, 09:36 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2006
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messee84 HB User
Break up or make up?

Ok...I dont know where to start really cos theres so much going on in my head. I love my boyfriend very much and for the most part he's a great boyfriend but lately everything is going balls up. I am just startin a new job and living back home with my parents but he's now in his last year at uni and living the uni life. It bothers me that he goes out a lot and acts like it's the most important thing, sometimes i think it's more important than me to him. Neway I think things would be a lot better for us and i wouldnt feel so insecure if he was more open with me (recently found out he tells me little white lies so i dnt worry but in the end i only worry mor cos i know he's lying) and acted a bit more caring. Since bein back at uni he hasnt once mentionned our anniversary which is fast approachin and when i asked he said it's cos he doesnt have time to think bout it...I find that hard to accept as he has the time to plan nights out, go out 3 nights or more a week etc, so y cant he take one of those nights to plan our anniversary? neway I have been tryin not to nag him bout the things i worry about but thats jus resulted in a lot of tension which caused be to blow up at him last week about how goin out is so damn important to him he dont seem to care bout me nemore and i dont think he's really been acting like a boyf of three years as he only thinks bout himself. I said a lot of dum things cos i was boiling over, now he wants a big relationship talk and says he thinks we could break up. I know we r incompatible sometimes but I cant stand the idea of throwing a 3 year rel down the drain for something fixable. Im scared bout what he's gonna say, how do i explain that i want us to stay together? It hurts to think of not bein wiv him but then if he cant accept what im sayin ie he needs to be more caring/thoughtful then i cant see any other option.

 
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Old 10-03-2006, 09:50 AM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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alleycat2 HB User
Re: Break up or make up?

I know how it feels to come 2nd to something that shouldn't matter as much as a person. My now husband, use to pick a sport over me. He made escuses too saying he couldn't be with me but he had all the time in the world to go out with the guys. He could be coming off a late or double shift and turn around and go right out with the guys, but if I asked him too do something with me he would be like "i'm too tired". I got to the point where I felt he wasn't going to change and we should just break up. I started doing my own thing and I told him I don't why he bothered to date me if he didn't give a shi_ about me and I was sick of being 2nd to a sport or the guys. I didn't plan on being 1st in his life all the time but I sure wasn't always going to settle for 2nd best ethier. He ended up coming around and yes the problem still comes up but not as often and I have learned to share him with this sport and come 2nd once in a while. I also found that when I ignored him and went my own way he tended to wonder why I didn't bug him to spend time with me anymore and that got him to come around more often but it wasn't a permanent fix. So my advice is plan out what you are going to say when you have your chat. If you take the direct approach like I did be prepared that it could go ethier way meaning a break up or he might want to work it out. If he doesn't want to work it out than I think he simply doesn't deserve you!

 
Old 10-03-2006, 10:11 AM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 84
messee84 HB User
Re: Break up or make up?

Thanks, I really want to be prepared for this conversation. Im a bit scared what he's gonna say, he may just be like 'im gonna act how I want to act so get over it and stop having a go at me'...if he does that I'll be very hurt and we'll have to break up even though I cry at th thought of never bein wiv him. I guess if that happens il b back on here looking for advice on how to get over him! Nice to know someone else has been there, men eh!

 
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