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Old 10-04-2006, 12:09 PM   #1
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Is my Bf gay?

Hi, Im having this problem where a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend and I were having sex and he stopped in the middle and didnt want to any more and didnt know why he left not long after..i thought nothing of it i was upset but thought nothing anyway the next day i was talking to him online and he said we had to talk and he should tell me in person..and i was like what? and we went on and i made him tell me and he just kept saying he was confused and that he had to tell me in person i got really upset and my heart started to race i told him he had to tell me he was realy upsetting me and he quickly changed everything he had said around and said that he was just going to stay at my apartment for the night and he was just joking..that stayed with me for a few days all i could think was that he was going to tell me he was gay..i ot over it and forgot about it until this morning i was n his computer and found a site it was gay guys ..obviously i was very upset my stomach started to hurt i almost cried and then he came over and said he was never on that site..im am very scared that he is gay and dont know what to do what if i ask him about it and he says he isnt and how could i think that..im so confused could someone give me some advice and tell me what they think?thanks!!!
newgirl88

 
Old 10-04-2006, 12:44 PM   #2
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

I would not pressure him too much. If he is gay this is going to be a tough thing for him to come out about. How long have you been dating? Are you in love? I dated someone a very long time and he was gay and it's tough, but now we are best friends, a real life Will and Grace.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:13 PM   #3
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

We have been together 6 months now and we were friends for a long while before.. I am absoultly head over heels in love.. i truly believe he is the one But i am really unsure of his sexuality latly

 
Old 10-04-2006, 01:16 PM   #4
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

The porn is really throwing me off. I dunno hun. He may just not be ready to come out.... I dated a guy who used my CPU when I was babysitting and I had a bunch of nasty sites come up on my computer. It is possible that spyware got in and redirected him to a gay site.....
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:48 PM   #5
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

I hope thats what it is..but I just have this really bad feeling but that could just be me worrying myself..thank you very much for your input

 
Old 10-04-2006, 03:31 PM   #6
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

If he's like most guys, he's going to look at porn and it's nothing for a link to take you to some gay stuff so that's not any kind of proof...now if you saw in his history that he had been to a whole lot of pages with gay porn then that may be a different story. Of course now that he knows that you are looking at his computer, he's going to start deleting all his history! To say that he's confused could just mean that there's another woman...not a good thing but could explain his actions. Maybe he's thinking about whether or not he wants to continue with a relationship with you or to break it off?
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Old 10-04-2006, 04:24 PM   #7
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

See i thought that too but then i seen that it was under google so he kind of had to look it up..so he was looking for it..

 
Old 10-04-2006, 05:07 PM   #8
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

Oh god newgirl I feel for you here. I would love to say, no this is totally inocent, but it all looks odd I have to say.

Like someone elses said, if he is struggling with his feelings and sexuality, he would be suffering here the most.

Some gay guys do date girls, in the hope that they can change, be accepted etc etc. But this is really sad for both parties when things eventually come out.

I think to put your mind at rest, one way or another, is to have a serious heart to heart with him, as this guy MAY be in turmoil right now.

Lets hope we are wrong.

 
Old 10-04-2006, 07:56 PM   #9
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

I really do hope we are wrong i love him soo much i dont want to let him go! I wonder hey maybe i'll just let it go and forget about it but then what if he is and is hiding it and it comes out later and it is even harder to let go!!i'm so confused! What do i do! i dont want to bring it up and have him say he isnt that would be terrible!!!

 
Old 10-05-2006, 02:02 AM   #10
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

Yeah I understand where your coming from - well maybe see how things go in the bedroom department in the next few weeks.

Maybe it was for a good reason he stopped that day, could it be about something simple about fears of pregnancy or something like that?

I have been a little nosy, and looked at some of your other postings, and I have to say, that after reading some of those, I personally now think it is unlikely that he is gay!

Good luck

 
Old 10-05-2006, 12:02 PM   #11
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

I cant really tell..anymore i thining im looking too hard..like one minute i think oh he is..and then he'll say i cant wait to have sex with you and im like ok so he isnt..and then there are times when he wont even let me touch him..it confuses me so much..

 
Old 10-11-2006, 07:43 PM   #12
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

It only sounds like he wants to break up with you.

 
Old 10-12-2006, 06:27 PM   #13
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

I'm sorry, but straight guys do not look at gay porn (unless its girl on girl that is)...
My boyfriend wouldn't even watch Broke Back Mountain with me, and that was an oscar winning film!
I think you need to have a heart to heart with him... If he truely loves you, he will be honest. But you have to open your mind and be supportive... This is not easy for him, I'm sure.
I am sorry you are going through this. I hope I'm wrong... I don't know everything... I just have never known of a straight man to be googleing "man on man" porn.
Whatever the outcome, you will be ok! Remember that...

 
Old 10-12-2006, 07:03 PM   #14
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

Well, it's very possible that he is bi-sexual or bi-curious.
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Old 10-14-2006, 10:59 AM   #15
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Re: Is my Bf gay?

I might have come too late to this thread, but I want to say that not only gays visit gay porn sites. I can assure you that. First, every man is just very curious about other men, about the size of their penises, about how they make out, etc, whether they are gay or not. Secondly, though most men will deny it, homosexuality is a very hot topic for them: they want to see how it functions, how a man can ever give another man pleasure pleasure, etc, etc... And thirdly, some men just go to these sites to prove they don't feel anything, that they are not affected, etc... But the main motivation is really curiosity as to how a gay performs sex. And I will tell you more: many, many men have had some kind of homosexual contact in the course of their lifetime, probably when they were very young. So, even if they are now convinced of being straight, they might still want to "see" it once again. Some men may still indulge in a kind of fantasy about dominating other men, even if the idea of having sex with them is really disgusting to them.

I am not saying that your bf is not gay - what I am saying is that going to a gay porn site doesn't make a man gay. Believe me.

If you are feeling insecure about your bf's sexual inclination, you must find a way to talk to him about it. This is a very delicate situation for both of you. But it is not healthy to live in doubt. It is better to interrupt the relationship if you think this can make you suffer in the future.

 
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