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Old 10-05-2006, 12:59 PM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 31
ksammon HB User
minnesotagirl i need your advice

hello
your a tough cookie lol but i need your advice because you don't sugar coat anything ....

so you might have remember me you might not i wrote in a few weeks ago about my xb/f how we dated for 2 years and then he broke up w/me and told me that he's been doing drugs behide my back ?

anyways we starting talking a few day ago and no big deal
but here is the thing he needs to give me back some money and am going to his place to pick it up i haven't seen him in like a month or so and i freaking out !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know its going to be werid ! but i'm not sure of what to do or how to act i don't want him to see how much i have missed him or how much he hurt me ... also i think !!! he's seeing someone not sure !!! i haven't said anything and he hasn't said anything either( he was mention a girl at work him talking to her and hanging out !!! ) but i'm not sure how to deal with all this !!!!!! .. but there another half of me that really wants to see him
in short its like this ''''''' one half of me wants to Scratch his eyes out and the other want to F*** him

 
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:14 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 745
minnesotagirl HB User
Re: minnesotagirl i need your advice

Hi there,

First of all -- there are plenty of other women on these boards who've delt with just as big of a-holes as I've delt with! And, they all give awesome advice, too!

But from what I remember your bf's drug use was a deal breaker for you. And you're pretty much too young to settle down anyway. I married a guy who I had dated for 4 years when I was only 20 and he was 29. It lasted only a few years and for several reasons: first off he was abusive and controlling (but it did get better), but I also cheated on him with several different guys because I had low self esteem and I just generally wanted to experience more in life because I had been with only one person for so long at such a young age. So, I think you are making the right decision about moving on and getting over your ex-bf.

With that being said, so he agreed that he owes you this money and that he will give it back to you? Do you have to go see him in order for that to happen, or can he just mail you a check? If you have to go see him, are you sure there aren't other motivations behind the visit, because really, I can't see why he couldn't mail you a check.

Taking that into consideration, because you still want to sleep with him you probably still have feelings for him. I really don't recommend going to see if that's the case. If your feelings were gone you'd have no desire really to want to do anything physical with him. That is how I am with my exhusband. I had to go back to his house a few months ago (but this was after years) and although it was sort of awkward (I met his new wife) it was OK and actually pretty normal, but that's because our feelings are all gone, very much gone.

If you're afraid of showing him how much he's hurt you, but you want to move on, then you should just have him mail you a check. If you want to move on, definately don't let any jealousy or physical attraction get the better of you. It'll be a mistake. If you don't want to date someone who smokes pot, then you can't date him, because he's not going to change. Otherwise, make the visit very quick. Have a back up plan -- say that you are on you way to do something else so you don't have much time. Then get your money and run!

You have to just focus on the bad things about him. Of course there were good things, but the bad things outweighed the good. There are plenty of other guys who can provide you with the good things, minus the bad. Someday you'll find someone who treats you like you deserve. Good luck!

 
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