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Old 10-06-2006, 09:51 AM   #1
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Need some advice on a weird situation

I have been close friends with this guy for around a year. There is obviously attraction there from the comments he makes and what not. (I am 24 and he is 36). Comments like if we talk before bed he tells me his day is all better now and he will have sweet dreams, he can always tell in my voice when I am having a bad day, and has made a few sexual comments to me but in a proper way if that makes sense. We always laugh and have a good time when we talk or get together. We don't get together as often as we could because he works a lot.
Long story short I have basically come to the realization that nothing is going to happen right now.
We haven't really gotten more physical than a hug. We almost kissed once but we didn't.
So how do you get over someone you care so deeply for and never really had a chance? I am not going to force it to happen. It's just really hard for me because we bonded on so many levels and it felt soooo right this time. I know each time is different but this is something I can't explain.
I continue to be his friend but how do I forget that I want to date him?
Any advice?

 
Old 10-06-2006, 09:54 AM   #2
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Re: Need some advice on a weird situation

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamecock360
Long story short I have basically come to the realization that nothing is going to happen right now.
We haven't really gotten more physical than a hug. We almost kissed once but we didn't.
I continue to be his friend but how do I forget that I want to date him?
Any advice?
what led you to that realization? It may not even be correct.....he may be feeling the same way, and be worried about ruining a good thing. I know this is a novel approach......but what would be the harm in actually communicating and TELLING him your feelings?

 
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Old 10-06-2006, 10:26 AM   #3
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Re: Need some advice on a weird situation

I just kinda did so I wouldn't get so tied up with him. I told him I was interested in him back in May and he said he really liked how things were that there was no pressure or expectations.
Then I found out some history that the past two girls tried to force commitment on him after a very short time and force a lot of other things on him.
Who knows what he is thinking....I sure don't. hahaha
It's just all so confusing.

 
Old 10-06-2006, 12:42 PM   #4
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Re: Need some advice on a weird situation

Oooh...it sounds like he really enjoys his bachelor status and isn't willing to give it up anytime soon. In light of what he told you (he doesn't want any pressure or expectations, so basically, no relationships) it is pretty wise to try and pull away from him emotionally, I think.

Honestly - I think the only way you are going to get over him, even a little, is to cut back on the time you spend with him or talk to him. It is pretty tough to just be friends with someone you have deep feelings for. Almost impossible.
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Old 10-06-2006, 06:07 PM   #5
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Re: Need some advice on a weird situation

Wow. This situation sounds like the one I am in! The exact same thing haha. Freaky !

 
Old 10-07-2006, 05:30 AM   #6
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Re: Need some advice on a weird situation

I am glad I am not alone luvablehunni! Men can be so difficult. GypsyArcher I think you are right. He called me last night and somehow he brought up that he hadn't had a relationship in 2 years and after his store gets going (he opened a business on the side with some buddies) he would have more time and start thinking about that again. Not really sure what he meant by all of that.
But I am trying to keep myself busy and just enjoy life as it comes. I have good days and bad ones. Sad thing is some of my good days come when I have spoken to him. I have cut my time with him drastically. From here I am easing out of the rest of it...
Thanks to all of you for commenting!!

 
Old 10-07-2006, 07:51 AM   #7
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Re: Need some advice on a weird situation

I had a similar situation. I realized I was totally falling in love with him. And he had been making similar comments to me, so i thought he must have been feeling something toward me as well.

I finally took a chance and kissed him one night. That was back in January and we've been dating ever since. I love this man more than I've ever loved anyone else in my life. And the reason why we have such an amazing relationship is because we were friends first. Best friends. And we make a really great team. He's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life, and I'm so, so, SO happy that I took the chance to let him know how I really felt about him. It turns out he felt the same way about me too.

So, because of how it turned out for me, I ALWAYS encourage the person in my former position to take a chance. If he rejects you, but does it in a nice way, then you can try to still remain friends - knowing though that it will be very hard to see him with any other girl. That was why I had to act fast in my situation, i was terrified that he was going to find someone else before he gave me a chance.

You guys I'm telling you, it was the best thing I ever did, kissing him first. I don't regret it at all because I have never been in such an awesome relationship. And I've never dated such an amazing and wonderful guy who is literally my dream come true. We'd still be just friends if I never made that move, so it was absolutely the right thing to do for me.

 
Old 10-07-2006, 12:23 PM   #8
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Re: Need some advice on a weird situation

Oh wow Bracelet! That is completely awesome. I have been wanting to kiss him as well. I guess I just need to grow a set and do it! haha

Thank you sooo much for sharing!!

 
Old 10-08-2006, 06:09 PM   #9
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Re: Need some advice on a weird situation

Unfortunately we had a really good talk Friday and he wanted to hang out tonight (Sunday) and told me to call him and he never returned my call. I really hate this. Of course I think the worse and think that he tried to avoid me all day. That's fine but why can't men grow a set and just be honest and say you don't want to hang out or don't mention hanging out if you don't want to!!!!!!

 
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