Originally Posted by uk_guy1988
I really think my girlfriend is soo gorgeous and I think she has an amazing body which I love, but I can't say how I feel to her.
She really has this bad image of herself and she hates being complmented about her looks.
One night she broke out into tears and told me she used to cut herself because she thought she was so ugly.
This makes me feel down because she is so not ugly at all!
But she doesn't have a problem getting her clothes off in front of me and despite being only 17 shes been sexually active for a while before me.
How can I let her know she's not ugly without upsetting her? Any advice appreciated.
If I were you, I wouldn't really bother to say anything, because it seems that she won't listen to you anyway. Sorry to say this, but I think that if you insist on telling her how gorgeous she is, you will be playing the fool. Now, it's a different story if she asks you; in this case you can give her your honest opinion, but nevertheless don't overcompliment her, if you see what I mean.
I don't know how obsessive she is about her "ugly" looks and body. This reminds me a case of "anorexia nervosa": a skinny girl finds herself to be fat, even too fat, and the more you talk her out of it, the more she will dismiss what you say. Maybe your girlfriend needs some psychological therapy. How is her relationship with her own family? Mother? Father? Siblings? If she has problems at home, she may be projecting them onto her body image.
I don't know if you will be able to help her. It may be deeper than your love can reach, but if you really care for her, you can be at her side, encourage her to seek help, if appropriate, and show her that you love her beyond her looks and body.