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Old 10-08-2006, 10:11 PM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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brooklyngirl36 HB User
Question He didnt invite me.......

I am a 30ish year old divorced woman...I am with my boyfriend for 10 months. We work work together, not directly together but in a small office.
We have a very close relationship, yet he has not told me that he loves me. I do love him, but I have not told him that yet. I dont know if I every will...that is why I am looking for some input here...if you could please help me out I'd love to hear your take on this.......He is a very well off man, although he does not know that.. He is kind of cheap, but i am a very simple girl....i dont wish to be lavished upon. It makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. He makes so much more money than I do....and I just dont want him to ever think I like him for his money. We spend alot of time together, he visits my parent house with me and we are together alot. He was raised by a single mom who eventually did remarry when he was in his teens. I have not met his mother yet. that is just a little background info........Now for why I started writing this in the first place....I am a huge Barbera Streisand fan. He knows that. His mom is as well. About a month ago, his mom asked him if he would take her to the concert. He bought tickets...They were very expensive but he can afford this....so he bought tickets....He bought 2 tickets, one for him and one for his mom.....How should I feel....what do you think????????????

Last edited by brooklyngirl36; 10-08-2006 at 10:37 PM.

 
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Old 10-09-2006, 09:08 AM   #2
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
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minnesotagirl HB User
Re: He didnt invite me.......

I don't think you should read too much into this. I think he just wants the concert to be a special outing for just him and his mom. Sure, maybe if you two had been together longer (like years) and had a more serious committment (like engaged or married), then he could've invited you. But after just 10 months of dating, I don't think he "had" to invite you or that you should feel offended that he didn't. All families are different, and perhaps in his family, it is too soon for him to include you on family outings. I'm divorced too, and after being divorced, I wouldn't introduce someone to my parents until after about a year. This is because I don't want them to think that I'm settled down with someone again and then have it fail again, so I'm sensitive about that. Plus, since your boyfriend was pretty much just raised by his mother, he may be a bit of a "momma's boy" but that's not always a bad thing. I'd much rather be with a man who is close to his mother and does nice things like take her to a concert than a man who isn't as thoughtful or involved with his family. I think that you should be excited for him about the concert and hope he has a good time. Maybe next time he'll take you with. If he's treating you good in every other way, I wouldn't press the issue, I'd just be happy that the man I love is going to have a good time. As far as never telling him "I love you" -- if you don't think you'll ever tell him that, why are you still with him? Perhaps he's not said the words yet to you because he doesn't know how you feel about him. If everything is going well, then maybe you just need to be a bit more patient and the words will come out, from both of you, when you're both ready.

 
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Old 10-09-2006, 09:34 AM   #3
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SophiaM HB User
Re: He didnt invite me.......

Don't tell him "I love you first," trust your instincts. He might need a bit more time. In my opinion, ten months is enough to meet someone's mother, especially that you introduced him to your parents, but maybe he's somewhat set in his ways and moving slowly. Does he ever do anything special for you, like inviting you out to dinner or movies, surprsing you with a small gift from time to time, anything to show you that you're special to him? Is he affectionate towards you? If overall he treats you well, then I think you should give it more time and see what happens. I wouldn't confess my feelings to him, first though, just from experience. Let him say these words to you when he's ready.

 
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