Re: Shrinking will power
I went through this and I had absolutely NO willpower, seeing as my ex-boyfriend never even told me it was truly over. It was something along the lines of a break/break-up...I was so lost, confused and a complete emotional mess. I know what you mean- everytime he showed up on IM, my heart would pound and I would feel ill, waiting to see if he would message me. I couldnt delete his #s either (his name began with an A so they were always the first ones I saw in my phone list), b/c, as u said, I felt it was truly final and that I was deleting someone from my life that had been my best friend for so long. You can read my threads too (also under the name Lals49)- they may help with some of the emotions you are feeling, b/c I think I put them all out on this board in my posts! Hehe.
One thing that I would do if I could go back is delete everything immediately and block him on every one of those silly websites (my space and so forth). I found out a lot of hurtful information on those things that just re-opened old wounds, even as much as 6 months later when I thought I was fine. It was awful. I would do that right away, actually. I also had a call buddy when I went through this: my mother. I called her at 7 am, 3 am, 11 pm, WHENEVER. Sometimes 6-7 times a day, and I would just SOB. But it was my mom, and I knew that she would never judge me for anything I felt/said/did.
You really have to be proactive to get past a breakup. It is hard, but the only way to start healing asap is to take action and do the things that u know u have to do. Sadly, they tend to be the hardest things to bring urself to do. That is: cutting out contact immediately (I had a hard time with that one given the ambiguity of my situation, and I really wish I would have done that sooner), returning all the stuff promptly, deleting all information from them (this one is SO hard but I swear to you that it will help you). This means emails, anything visible that can make u cry (pictures, cards, etc.). Put all of those keepsakes in a box and stash it away for awhile. Also- tell your friends not to tell you if they see him around or hear anything about him. I had difficulty with that one from acquaintances who somehow thought it was cool to give me updates about his new girlfriend he had left me for and when they saw him out. That hurt...
I hope this helps. What helped my willpower in the end was actually finding pride in it- the more I was able to stay strong, the more I found self-confidence from it, and that really helped the healing...I found myself feeling more empowered with each step I took to get him out of my life.
Hang in there..its a long road but you will be OK!! Im proof of that...and many here on this board are as well.
-oh, one more thing. I really truly believe that only time can make u feel better (and I hate feeding into that old proverb "time heals all wounds". But I really think its true). However, u can speed up the healing process by cutting off contact and doing what I said above. Its so hard but u really will thank urself later.
Last edited by lady346; 10-09-2006 at 08:54 PM.