It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-11-2006, 07:16 AM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: wolverhamptom, west midlads, england
Posts: 4
nixnax HB User
Unhappy relationship help

hi there ....how are you all...

i have been in a serious relationship for 1.5 years now and things are getting fustrating..... my boyfriend has now told me that he wants to still wants to be with me but he wants to go around and sleep with other girls to get more "experience". this has really hurt me and i am confused as to what i should do...we are living together and support each other fiacially....can anyone give me some advice please!!!

thanks a million

 
Old 10-11-2006, 07:22 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,230
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: relationship help

my advice would be to move out, get your own place, wish him luck and be done.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 10-11-2006, 07:29 AM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: wolverhamptom, west midlads, england
Posts: 4
nixnax HB User
Re: relationship help

the problem is i wont beable to survive on my own as i dont earn enough money .... thaat is the main problem and i love him!!!

 
Old 10-11-2006, 07:32 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,230
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: relationship help

then you get a room mate, move back with mom, get a 2nd job, etc....
you do what you have to do......
the more dependent you are on him, the more he will take advantage of you.
you love him? what do you love about him?
do you love him enough to tell him it's ok for him to have sex with others?
do you love him or do you just not have enough self esteem to care about yourself?

 
Old 10-11-2006, 07:45 AM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: wolverhamptom, west midlads, england
Posts: 4
nixnax HB User
Re: relationship help

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz
then you get a room mate, move back with mom, get a 2nd job, etc....
you do what you have to do......
the more dependent you are on him, the more he will take advantage of you.
you love him? what do you love about him?
do you love him enough to tell him it's ok for him to have sex with others?
do you love him or do you just not have enough self esteem to care about yourself?
the thing is that he treats me wonderfully.,....its just this thing that he wants to "experrience" more girls beause he has only ever been with me....and he thinks that it is not right for a guy to have one partner in his life time...he says that he loves me and wants to marry me and have a family with me....

 
Old 10-11-2006, 07:46 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,651
StenoLady1 HB UserStenoLady1 HB User
Re: relationship help

I agree completely with Rose.

 
Old 10-11-2006, 08:00 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,230
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: relationship help

Quote:
Originally Posted by nixnax
the thing is that he treats me wonderfully.,....its just this thing that he wants to "experrience" more girls beause he has only ever been with me....and he thinks that it is not right for a guy to have one partner in his life time...he says that he loves me and wants to marry me and have a family with me....
oh yes he sounds like mister wonderful!
you sound like you're defending him.......
so is it ok with you?
if it's not, you need to take a stand and stop acting like a welcome mat that he wipes his feet on.

 
Old 10-11-2006, 08:36 AM   #8
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 745
minnesotagirl HB User
Re: relationship help

You know, in a way, he's right. Most people these days aren't just with one person their whole lives. Which doesn't mean that is the way to do it or that being with just one person is wrong -- there are also MANY people who still marry the only person they've been with and they stay together for life. Yes, it does happen.

With that being said, a lot of people aren't with their first love forever. You may think it will last forever, but usually it doesn't and people grow in different directions and move on. When you fall in love young, quite often it doesn't last. One partner or both may feel the need to experience more in life. BUT, that means that you two just weren't meant to be together forever.

If he wants to be with other girls, and it sounds like he does, then you need to move on, too. He can't have it both ways. It would not work. Would he want you to sleep with other guys?????? Don't let him give you that "well I'm a guy" excuse. No way. That's NOT how it works. If he wants to be with other girls, then you're gone, that's it, and you'll move on and fall in love with someone else. Who knows, maybe a few years after that, you'll end up back together. But you don't want to be sleeping with each other and with others. That's a very good way to spread diseases.

I think you need to be more independent. You're young. Don't settle so young! I got married when I was just barely 21 years old to the boyfriend I had been with since I was 17. I never cheated on him for 6 years that we were together, then two years into the marriage I did cheat -- one of the reasons is that I felt I wanted to "experience" someone else. Well, I ended up leaving him. I just don't think that I was meant to be with my high school boyfriend forever. I was too young to make that committment. Don't make the same mistakes.

Sure, he says he wants to marry you, and you may have a fantasy about a wedding and marriage. But, don't let that make you stay with him. In your life, you may meet several guys who want to marry you and treat you like you deserve.

I would try to get on my own two feet if I were you -- get a second job, move back home, get a roommate. Good luck!

 
Old 10-11-2006, 08:41 AM   #9
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,503
KeltoKel HB User
Re: relationship help

Yeah, great guy!

Did you ever think that if he were to go out and sleep with other women that he could get one pregnant or catch a disease?


If he loved you - he wouldn't want to be with anyone else!

 
Old 10-11-2006, 09:23 AM   #10
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,443
susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
Re: relationship help

He should have thought about that BEFORE he moved in with you.

 
Old 10-11-2006, 09:56 AM   #11
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 84
messee84 HB User
Re: relationship help

You sound like a door mat...no offense intended but your boyfriend wants to have his cake and eat it (for want of a newer phrase) and you love him so you're gonna just sit back and let him do that???? He needs to decide what's more important- havin a future with the girl he says he wants to marry or having sex with some random girls.

In my opinion if he's asking you to let him do this he's not worth the heart ache. If this is what he really wants to do pack your bags and leave...now! Unless you can live with him gettin his 'experience' that is.

 
Old 10-11-2006, 11:58 AM   #12
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 101
JBravo556 HB User
Re: relationship help

maybe he is trying to see if you'll let him bring another girl into the bedroom with him. If a girl I was dating told me that she wanted to sleep with other guys I would drop her like a bad habbit. As much as it may hurt it IS best for YOU to get rid of this guy. Even if he says he changed his mind and won't sleep with other girls will YOU be able to TRUST him? I doubt it.

What happens if he meets a girl he likes more than you and decides to leave you? That is a real possibility... In his eyes you don't satisfy him in some way and that is why he is looking to sleep with other girls so eventually he will cheat on you and leave you. Don't put yourself in that situation! You have the opportunity to drop him and save yourself some face.

Good Luck!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Relationship Help Needed...is it me? hondachik Relationship Health 16 11-14-2010 09:36 AM
In a long-term relationship that is about to become an "open relationship" bertrandian Relationship Health 32 12-14-2009 12:54 AM
New... and think I have relationship OCD. HELP! Kruder Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 02-13-2009 10:55 AM
help me understand (or help?) this dysfunctional relationship pigsonthewing Relationship Health 8 09-08-2008 08:39 AM
Long Distance Relationship help please! bluesbird Relationship Health 9 02-27-2007 06:27 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (260), rosequartz (246), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (87), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1139), MSJayhawk (943), Apollo123 (860), janewhite1 (823), Titchou (774), Gabriel (743), ladybud (667), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (655), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:38 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!