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Old 10-17-2006, 08:42 AM   #16
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Willapp HB User
Re: A man who professes he will never marry...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bracelet
So, I am of the opinion that when a guy tells you he doesn't want to get married, it's not because he doesn't want to be married. It's because he doesn't want to marry the person he is currently with and telling this to. And I'm sure Greg Berendt would agree with me. He would tell you that a man who really honestly truly loves you, would definitely want to marry you, because he couldn't live without having you in his life as his mate. Period. End of story. Anything less is settling, and I don't think you want to be one of those people who just settles for whatever she can get.
I'm sorry but as a man myself I can tell you this is just not always true. Some guys just don't believe marriage is for them, the same way some people don't want kids, or some people prefer being single!

I'm not saying that some guys don't use the "I don't believe in marriage" as a way of avoiding marrying someone that they don't want to be with forever, BUT there are definitely some guys who just don't want to get married, regardless of their feelings for someone.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 08:56 AM   #17
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Re: A man who professes he will never marry...

Will... then as man who feels the way you do about marriage, then how would you feel about your GF coming to you and saying, that even though she doesn't want to get married right now, that she would like to know if the option could be open maybe in the future... would you be honest or tell her what she wanted to hear to avoid conflict? Would it make you feel pressured? Do you have friends that feel the same... what do other men say about this?

 
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Old 10-17-2006, 10:26 AM   #18
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susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
Re: A man who professes he will never marry...

I personally know of a few relationships that have be intact for YEARS with no marriage in sight. They are very happy and have no intensions of ever getting married. They key here is that BOTH parties don't care about getting married. I also have a step uncle that's in in 50's, never been married, and when his long time live in girlfriend brought up marriage, he broke up with her. I think if marriage is a deal breaker for you, then be prepared. He may never warm to the idea. Not only that, it's not fair to you if you truly want to marry again some day.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 05:59 PM   #19
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eve40 HB User
Re: A man who professes he will never marry...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyofkypros
My BF and I have been together for around 7 months now and everything is going great... he even took me on a special trip a few weeks ago and finally told me that he was in love with me. It was the most romantic weekend I've ever had... no one has ever went to such extents just to make me feel special and show their love for me... BUT, he has told me from the beginning of our relationship that he does not believe in marriage... that he has seen too many people's lives destroyed when the marriage goes bad and it always seems to. I've been divorced for just over 6 years now and up until now, honestly believed that I would never have the heart to marry again... never wanted to feel that kind of pain again. Well, I suppose time and love does heal old wounds, because now, even though I'm not in a hurry to get married, I'm not totally turned off to it and the idea that the man I'm in love with may never ask me... just breaks my heart. He is almost 39 years old and has never been married (but was in a couple long term relationships), so I have no reason not to believe that he is dead serious about it. Am I a fool to believe that perhaps he could come around? How do I handle this type of situation... I'm not willing to end it over this and I refuse to be the girl that is constantly dropping hints or god forbid, nagging him for an engagement. I know his friends and co-workers give him grief over it, but I don't want him to ask me one day just because he is pressured into it by anyone...
When I man tells you the truth, you need to listen to and believe it. Then act according to your own needs.

 
Old 10-18-2006, 04:57 PM   #20
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RiAnne HB User
Re: A man who professes he will never marry...

be glad he actually was man enough to tell you from the beginning what he felt. many people would have just hid this information and you wouldn't have found out right at first. don't expect people to change their minds. especially older people. once people get older and have made up their minds, they very rarely change. just stay with it and see if you can deal with just being a girlfriend forever. if not, you can always move on.

 
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