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Old 10-15-2006, 07:43 PM   #1
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Question Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

Hey everyone how are you? I would appreciate any advice that anyone can give me. its sorta complicated and if there is anything you dont understand just ask and i will explain....here is some back ground information
GUY # 1------ Four years ago this guy and i broke up. we stayed friends for the past four years. but for the past year we have been good friends, hanging out, and we do get into arguements and dont talk for a week or two...but after that and everyone is calmed down we start talkin again. its always been that way(even when we dated before). back in april we told each other that we still had feelings for one another. and in aug we started datin again. everything was good. we would have arguements (not exactly arguements but not sure what to call it) and everything would be fine. i know how he is and i couldnt say certain things b/c they would get out of context and he would get mad. well last friday(10-6-06) we had alot to drink and he made a comment and the things i kept bottled upcame out. he got mad and we broke up. we havent talked for a week until last night when he texted me and asked if my grandpa was okay. (this guy never makes the first move when we arent talking).
GUY # 2-----well this friday(10-13-06) i went out to dinner with an old friend who is male. we had dated also before. i broke up with him for the other guy. anyway we were bored and got a hotel room (just so we could hang out and drink and not worry about driving we ilve 30min apart and not sure how his rents would feel about me spending the night). well i guess we had to much to drink and we slept together (i know drinking isnt an excuse). he wants to get back together. and in a way i wouldnt mind. i can see myself marrying him but im not completly happy with him. when we dated before i was but always thought of the other guy.
GUY #1 makes me happy even though we have our defaluts...we are alot alike especially with being hard headed and stubborn i know that my heart belongs to him. and im always thinking of him and GUY #2 we usaually fight all the time ... but that is usually my fault
Here is my problem.... since guy #1 and i always do this...get mad and not talk...and have told each other that we still love each other...should i wait to see what happens with him. see if he wants to get back together? we usualy hang out for a little while....we have great chemistry always have fun together.....is there a chance that we could get back together? i know that i have to give him time. OR should i give guy #2 another chance see if i can be happy with him again?
Im sorry this is so confussing and long. i just dont know what to do. ive tried to forget about guy #1 but it isnt working. and i think im only talking to guy #2 b/c im not with guy #1. if anyone can help i would appreciate it alot.

Thanks.

 
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Old 10-15-2006, 07:56 PM   #2
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adriennerose HB User
Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

sounds like neither of these relationships are ideal, perhaps you should consider a man #3 ?

 
Old 10-15-2006, 08:07 PM   #3
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Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

well the relationship with guy #1 is ideal for me....i know him and he knows me. we know how each other are. im afriad if i tried another realtionship it wouldnt work b/c i would want him. but i dont want to push guy #1

 
Old 10-15-2006, 08:12 PM   #4
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Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

It seems like you have way too much drama with Guy #1. If your pattern is to argue and then not be on speaking terms for awhile, then get back together again...doesn't sound very promising, or healthy.

You could try giving Guy #2 a chance, but don't lead him on if you feel like maybe your heart isn't in it all the way.
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:50 PM   #5
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Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

Do you remember why you broke up with them the first time?

It is always so much easier to hop back into a comfortable old relationship because you don't have to spend the time and effort getting to know the person. Take it from me, these relationships never work out. It's a circle that keeps going around and around and never changes.

Get out there and find #3. Better yet, go out with the girls and have fun and let #3 find you!

 
Old 10-16-2006, 07:52 PM   #6
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Bracelet HB User
Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

You should take a break from dating all together and wait until you meet someone who won't cause so much drama in your life. It sounds to me like both of these guys are pretty lame. Any relationship that is mostly fighting and then not talking for long periods of time is bad.

Relationships have ups and downs, but you're not supposed to be fighting as much as you are with both of them.

Seriously. Remove the drama from your life and ditch them both. Neither of them sounds like any great catch.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 08:20 PM   #7
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Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

i think im going to give guy #2 another chance. i broke up w him b/c of guy #1. so he didnt get a fair chance. but i can see my self marring guy #2. so who knows. we will see.

 
Old 10-18-2006, 02:47 AM   #8
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Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousgrl07
i think im going to give guy #2 another chance. i broke up w him b/c of guy #1. so he didnt get a fair chance. but i can see my self marring guy #2. so who knows. we will see.
Curious girl, you say you are now going to give guy2 a second chance, remember what you told us

1. you broke up with him for guy 1
2. you fight ALL the time, as opposed to sometimes with guy 1.
3. you said your heart is with guy 1

Why does it have to be one or the other? if you and guy 1 don't sort out your problems, then why do you have to take second best being guy2? if he wasn't mr right the first time, he never will be.

Infact I agree with the others, they are both drama, ditch them both and try being on your own for a while.

Last edited by brook65; 10-18-2006 at 02:51 AM.

 
Old 10-18-2006, 05:54 AM   #9
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Bracelet HB User
Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

I don't understand why you HAVE to be with EITHER of them?? Why is it so hard for you to NOT be with either of them? Do you have a problem being on your own for a while? Both situations suck, frankly, and I personally wouldn't settle like that. It's a waste of time and energy. I can't understand why you would accept something so obviously not right for you?

You're just going to end up being miserable with either of them. You would be so much happier on your own for a while. I can't understand why you are so determined to be with one of them when both of them suck?

 
Old 10-19-2006, 07:28 PM   #10
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Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

i know its very confusing it confuses me and i know everything. lol. i can see myself marrying guy #2

 
Old 10-20-2006, 12:55 AM   #11
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Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great....NEW INFO

okay i have no clue what i am going to do. i thought i could marry guy #2 but i got to thinking tonight i called the wedding off that we had planned a year ago. an i really cant stand to be around him, or him to kiss me. and i only talk to him when guy #1 and i are not talking.
the situation w guy #1 has changed now. great. okay i know they things we do seem like arguing and fighting but its not. that is complicated to explain to where you can see where i am coming from. but my heart belongs to him. im in love him. and tonight he tells me he wished that i didnt do what i did two weeks ago(and i wish i hadnt either) but he said he wanted to marry me. and i know most guys say stuff like that to get you to come back to them , but he aint like that, he hate the word marriage, and he told his best friend adn he wouldnt do that. i really wish he hadnt of told me that. he is who i want to be with. i was always afraid to ask him about marriage and i finally find out while were broke up. i wrote him an email explaining exactly why i did what i did, and i did ask him for another chance (it wouldnt be so bad if i hadnt of done the same thing four years ago). doesnt it mean something that after four years we were together again, that our feelings lasted through four years, other relatinships, and ppl tryin to break us up this time around?i dont regret asking him for another chance. i jsut dont think i could be ONLY friends with him, we have to much passion when we have sex, feelings always come back up, and some how we always do have sex when we hang out. im going crazy since he told me what he told me. and i dont know if he will read the email tomorrow, 2 days from now or two weeks, i did send him an IM tellin him to check his email.
any suggestions? im am sorry ths is long and im a very confusing person.

Thanks to everyone, i appreciate it

 
Old 10-20-2006, 01:55 AM   #12
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brazilman HB User
Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

Hi

I entirely agree with bracelet.

If you are confused, simply don't do anything.

Honestly, I don't know your age, but I think that you are too young to think about marriage now.

Really, don't take it amiss, but if I were in your shoes, I'd invest time, money and energy in myself: like getting self-knowledge, knowledge, education, health, and a good sense humour. And put those guys and all the other guys on the back burner.

Yes, I am afraid your present life is lacking humour, individuality and an objective. You may have fun (sex) but then you get bored. You seem to need a drink to boost you up - that is depleting you.

So maybe you really need to isolate yourself for a while and concentrate on your future as a free person, on essential things.

I am sorry for having diverted your attention ...

JC

 
Old 10-20-2006, 07:40 PM   #13
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Re: Dont know what to do...any advice would be great

I understand what you guys are saying. here is the thing. guy #2 wants marriage and i thought i did but dont. im 20 yrs old. and guy #1 and i agree about marriage and a family wait 5-10 yrs. its just hard for me to forget about guy #1 b/c I LOVE HIM with all my heart and i want to be w/ him. i havent got over him in four years and i dont think ill forget about anytime soon.

 
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