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Old 10-17-2006, 12:46 PM   #1
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So I am trying to get over my ex but...

I keep reading what people on this board say about "not concentraing on the good times, but instead remember the things that went wrong" well for those of you that know my story... what bad things do I have to concentrate on to forget the good times and help me move on? she wasn't all that bad was she? she stuck by me when I had my surgery... isn't that enough? I know toward the end she wasn't as affectionate and she nit picked at me... then there was the time in the bar when she didn't acknowledge me in front of her co-workers... but maybe I brought all that on?

I need some insight

Last edited by JBravo556; 10-17-2006 at 12:47 PM.

 
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Old 10-17-2006, 12:56 PM   #2
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

Okay, now your trying to tell yourself that the relationship wasn't that bad... well it doesn't matter does it? She left you, remember that.

But this experience doesn't have to be so negative. Be thankful you no longer have to be in a relationship with a girl that just wasn't for you. Now, you can find your soul mate.

But don't search for her..... let her come to you..

And STOP analyzying everything about your past relationship. I know you thought this relationship was a done deal, I know how you feel. But it wasn't. And that's okay.

Take it one day at a time. And focus on what really matters. YOU!

 
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Old 10-17-2006, 01:29 PM   #3
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

QUOTE=JBravo223]I am seriously at the point where I regret ever being with this girl. The grief that she caused me in the last two months far out weighs any of the "good" times. I hope that I never hear from her again. I will never call this girl. She does not deserve one more tear from me. I just wish I didn't try to get her back because I am sure she thinks I am desperate. I guess it is for the better... she had this fantasy that she would get to sit home and not work once we got married, even if we didn't have kids. She wanted to be showered with gifts but she didn't deserve them. She wasn't that affectionate, she didn't like to kiss and the sex was so so. I don't really think I lost someone all that special now that I sit down and think about it. She'll probably end up miserable just like her sisters...[/QUOTE]


I guess these were the "good times" :confused

 
Old 10-17-2006, 02:18 PM   #4
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

LOL, okay you got me... some times it is good to go back and read your own words

 
Old 10-17-2006, 02:26 PM   #5
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

Sorry about that, but I have done the exact same thing. Once removed from the situation, I tend to second guess my feelings. We are only human.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 02:31 PM   #6
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

I guess on some level I am wondering what is wrong with me... not in terms of her wanting me but in terms of me keeping a woman.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 02:52 PM   #7
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

You can't beat yourself up over this. Even though it obviously hurts, she wasn't the one for you. If a woman is really into a man, she would love the fact that he messages her, worries about her, and basically wants to be with her. Not to say that a woman wants to be smothered or anything, but she wouldn't get mad at the fact that you suddenly show up where she is. What I am trying to say is that there is someone out there just for you. Someone who will appreciate what you do for her. Don't blame yourself and don't give up. I also believe that you don't have to go out there searching for your soulmate. She is out there somewhere, and when you least expect it, she will be there

 
Old 10-17-2006, 02:54 PM   #8
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

I concentrated on the good times and all the good things about my ex for over a year and half, while we were still together. I tried to end the relationship countless times, but it just kept getting worse. I was miserable the entire time. The only thing that really seems to be working for me is concentrating not on the bad times, but on his flaws and personality "defects" in general.

You said your ex wasn't affectionate enough. That's a good start. Don't you want someone who will shower you with love when you need it? What else don't you like about her? What else do you want from a relationship that she didn't give? Write it down if you have to... a Good vs. Bad list can offer a lot of insight.

And please remember that if was any worse, it could've ended up being even harder on you. My pride, self-esteem, and major aspects of my life (my job and college) were ruined by my ex. He took all I had, and never gave anything in return. Instead of leaving him earlier on when the relationship started to crumble, I invested everything I had and kept trying. I kept thinking about the good times. I still do. But I lost it all. Now I'm left here with nothing... and I have to start all over again.

It hurts reguardless of how bad things were. But please... don't let it go as far as I did.

Hope this helped... and try the list!
-Nicole

 
Old 10-17-2006, 04:49 PM   #9
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

Dude! You've gone such a long time without talking to this loser girl, and now you're starting to doubt yourself? But you've come SO FAR already!! Don't let yourself down by caving and getting back into a one-sided relationship with a materialistic whiny brat like her. She's history!!!

And don't forget what a hassle you had with her sisters. They sound like a bunch of losers, too. That whole family is a bunch of freaks and weirdos, and guess what? YOU don't have to deal with ANY of them EVER again! That should make you so relieved and happy that there's no reason for any of this BS right now.

Quit letting some substandard relationship that wasn't worth the time it took to write this post, get to you so much. You've already moved on. There's no reason to look back because this chapter of your life is finally, and thankfully closed.

Geez man, don't you want a totally amazing and wonderful relationship in which you feel loved, appreciated, wanted and cared for? A relationship where your other half does as much for you as you do for her? Because that's what a real relationship IS all about. Not this half-assed attempt at something that you had with that girl.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 06:02 PM   #10
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBravo556
I keep reading what people on this board say about "not concentraing on the good times, but instead remember the things that went wrong" well for those of you that know my story... what bad things do I have to concentrate on to forget the good times and help me move on? she wasn't all that bad was she? she stuck by me when I had my surgery... isn't that enough? I know toward the end she wasn't as affectionate and she nit picked at me... then there was the time in the bar when she didn't acknowledge me in front of her co-workers... but maybe I brought all that on?

I need some insight
Here is some insight. It doesn't matter if the relationship was good or bad. It's over and she doesn't love you anymore, or at least not enough. That is ALL you should be concentrating on. That, and what YOU need out of a relationship. Then you need to start taking steps to find it.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 08:01 PM   #11
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bracelet
Dude! You've gone such a long time without talking to this loser girl, and now you're starting to doubt yourself? But you've come SO FAR already!! Don't let yourself down by caving and getting back into a one-sided relationship with a materialistic whiny brat like her. She's history!!!

And don't forget what a hassle you had with her sisters. They sound like a bunch of losers, too. That whole family is a bunch of freaks and weirdos, and guess what? YOU don't have to deal with ANY of them EVER again! That should make you so relieved and happy that there's no reason for any of this BS right now.

Quit letting some substandard relationship that wasn't worth the time it took to write this post, get to you so much. You've already moved on. There's no reason to look back because this chapter of your life is finally, and thankfully closed.

Geez man, don't you want a totally amazing and wonderful relationship in which you feel loved, appreciated, wanted and cared for? A relationship where your other half does as much for you as you do for her? Because that's what a real relationship IS all about. Not this half-assed attempt at something that you had with that girl.
I actually spoke to her last week. She had called me a couple of times over a few days and I didn't answer and then on Wednsday I picked up the phone. I really didn't say much, she asked if I was dating anyone and I said no that I was too busy with work at the moment. I was kind of indifferent toward her. But I also find myself hating her right now because since she pulled her stunt of slamming on her brakes with me in the car my back is hurting and I'm worried that she may have broke some of the hardware the put in my back this past April.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 08:13 PM   #12
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

Oh geez......why did you talk to her?? You should NEVER have picked up the phone! That sucks. You were doing really well for a long time. I hope that you don't intend to speak to her again.

As for her making that bonehead move in the car, what did you expect from a selfish tool of a person like her to do? She obviously doesn't care at all about you, much less your health. Back surgery is a serious thing. It's nothing to screw around with. But she didn't care and did that to you anyway. And now you're missing her again? Pardon me, but seriously, get your head out of your rearend and realize how lame she is and how much better off you are without her in your life.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 08:35 PM   #13
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

I know that I am better off.

 
Old 10-17-2006, 08:51 PM   #14
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Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

GREAT! So quit posting about how much you miss this loser and start posting about all of the fun things you are doing with your life now that you're a free man and not tied down to such a selfish person.

 
Old 10-18-2006, 04:33 PM   #15
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RiAnne HB User
Re: So I am trying to get over my ex but...

if she doesn't want you, she doesn't want you. period. whether you brought it on or not. she stuck by you through your surgery? i've been by a person's side during surgery and i didn't even like the person at all, i just felt it was the right thing to do. so that means nothing. and not acknowledging you in front of co-workers, maybe she just likes being known as the-single-girl. or doesn't like to display being tied down. there comes a time in our lives when we have to face reality about various situations.

 
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