A complete and total disaster
5 months ago I changed the password to my first ******* account so I couldn't remember it. I wanted to get off the site for a while. I sent them a request a few days after that for my password, because I realized I had acted irrationally and on impulse.
5 months later, two days ago ******* responded to this request.
Like an idiot I sign on, and find all the letters she wrote me.
What particularly caught my attention was....we were finally starting to see each other's "weaknesses". The masks were coming off.
On 5/15 she had written me a message saying she would never abandon me for making mistakes, and that she would never write me off like that for getting emotional. (I had gotten drunk, and spilled my beans a little to her).
On 5/18 is when she officially ended it with the guy she had been dating for a long time. She had been wanting to end it for a while.
While yes, she did tell me she would need a lot of time after they broke up to "fix" herself before she and I could ever get serious, we really already kinda were mentally....just not officially.
5/18 she began to ignore me. She ignored me further for 10 days, until she finally tells me she "Just wants to focus on her life right now".
A few more weeks of me being desperate and needy, and pathetic. Then I initiate NC on June 8th.
Funny how on 5/15 she tells me she would never abandon me for being emotional or making mistakes, yet on 5/25 she blows up at me telling me I am "overly dramatic" and that I "Put alot of pressure on her" (to be in a relationship with me).
I never meant to pressure her, but she totally went from one thing on 5/15, to the total opposite 10 days later....she just shut me out of her life as if she never really cared about me.
I feel like she lied to me. She said she wouldn't abandon me. She did. And for the very reasons she said would never make her do that.
I feel like the last 4 months of "progress" never even really happened.
Anyone understand how someone can do such a fast 180 like that?
I understand she had just broken up with the other guy, but she had been emotionally disconnected from him for a really long time. So even though I know she wanted her freedom for a long time, I don't understand why she just cut me off like that....