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Old 10-19-2006, 04:41 PM   #1
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andreadahhling HB User
issues with ex

Hello,

I had an account here a loooooong time ago and for the life of me cannot remember what my screen name was but anyways...I have returned due to basically reaching the end of my rope...AGAIN.

I have been divorced for almost 3 1/2 years and am still victim of daily harrassment / intimidation / threat from my ex husband. The background story is really lengthy so I'll avoid posting it unless someone feels there is specific relevance to it but in a nut shell...my ex has a bucket of issues and I'm the apparent dumping ground.

The most recent major incident with my ex occured a couple of weeks ago when he was droping of our twin girls from their visitation...apparently what ever goes wrong in his life is my fault so of course I must have looked at him wrong or something so it was automatic berating/fight mode and after verbally handing my *** to me he pinned me against the wall (he's a very tall man...6'4 so he can be really really intimidating when he wants to be) with one arm on either side of me so I couldnt get away. He continued to insult me, cuss me out, ***** at me...the works. Fortunately the children were outside with a friend while this was going on but still. In the end he went on some long rant that made not one lick of sense and threatened to beat some sense into me himself if I didnt stay out of his business (which I think this was sparked because I've recently become more friendly with his most recent ex girlfriend and we've been comiserating together)

Anyways, my current husband was out of town at the time and when he came home...he basically beat the tar out of the ex...my friend told him everything that happened despite me begging her not to (current hubby is a bit hot headed and over protective when it comes to the ex).

since then the harrassement has practically trippled and while no more physical stuff has happened it's just a little draining to have to still have to deal with this after so long.

any advice

 
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Old 10-19-2006, 06:00 PM   #2
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: issues with ex

Why don't you get a restraining order?
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Old 10-19-2006, 06:04 PM   #3
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andreadahhling HB User
Re: issues with ex

can you get a restraining order without actually have been attacked?

In a case like this I mean...

I've had to take out a restraining order on an abusive boyfriend who was stalking me but there was documentation of physical abuse and such.

Also...I'm conscerned about what that means for the children if I do that.

 
Old 10-19-2006, 09:35 PM   #4
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JBravo556 HB User
Re: issues with ex

forget the restraining order... it sounds like he needs another *** whipping

 
Old 10-20-2006, 09:05 AM   #5
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dewdrop333 HB User
Re: issues with ex

I would say take him back to court! You guys apparently need to have the change of visitation in a public neutral place so he doesnt assault you ...

Also, if he does this to YOU .. I would be scared out of my MIND for what will happen to my kids if THEY start to look at him wrong ....

If I were you I would be addressing my custody right about now ...

He needs to be supervisied durring visitation and you need to not be at risk for getting assaulted.
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Old 10-20-2006, 02:02 PM   #6
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happymom28 HB User
Re: issues with ex

I was able to get a restraining order against my ex when there was nothing physical involved.

My ex-husband didn't like that I moved on. He was threatening me and trying to bully me into taking him back. When I refused he would threaten to kill himself. He told my daughter that my bf (now husband) was a monster so she would be scared of him. Keep in mind while all this was going on he had a new gf. He would tell her that I was trying to get him back so I also got phone calls from her telling me to stay away if I knew what was good for me.

He was able to hack into my email account and change all my passwords. He got into my cell phone account and did the same. He stole money from his gf and tried to blame me (and I still don't know how that worked).

Long story short (too late) I kept a log of all the things he did and said and after about a month of it I went to the courthouse and filed for a restraining order. Because he also had a past of cornering me and pushing me it helped my case. That was in August 2005. He violated it once and there is now a warrant out for him so I have no idea where he is. It's definately been more peaceful and my daughter is doing a lot better now that all the craziness is gone.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 04:16 PM   #7
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crazyasthewind HB User
Re: issues with ex

andreadahhling,

what your ex did to you...was an attack...a restraint is a physical attack...though there were no punches thrown. He has threatened you as well....you can get a restraining order. And i highly suggest that you do it very soon

take care

 
Old 10-20-2006, 06:00 PM   #8
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andreadahhling HB User
Re: issues with ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by dewdrop333
I would say take him back to court! You guys apparently need to have the change of visitation in a public neutral place so he doesnt assault you ...

Also, if he does this to YOU .. I would be scared out of my MIND for what will happen to my kids if THEY start to look at him wrong ....

If I were you I would be addressing my custody right about now ...

He needs to be supervisied durring visitation and you need to not be at risk for getting assaulted.

In all honesty, I know that he would NEVER hurt his kids...ever. It's everything to do with me and our situation, but his kids are his world.

For one period in time he was not allowed to see his children (it was a way of getting him to go to rehab...it didnt stick but I know with 100% certainty that he doesnt use around them either...he already is quasi supervised as theres always mutual friends at his house and them I trust to tell me the truth) it crushed him. He knows I wouldnt waste one second on taking them away from him if he ever took anything out on them.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 06:01 PM   #9
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andreadahhling HB User
Re: issues with ex

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyasthewind
andreadahhling,

what your ex did to you...was an attack...a restraint is a physical attack...though there were no punches thrown. He has threatened you as well....you can get a restraining order. And i highly suggest that you do it very soon

take care

I'm so torn on it though, I can't even explain why...I guess I'm just still midly optimistic that its going to get better in time

 
Old 10-20-2006, 07:24 PM   #10
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Posts: 76
Tiea HB User
Re: issues with ex

The longer you leave it the more you're saying to him "yes, it's ok for you to treat me like ****, threaten me, abuse me" etc. For your protection you really need to get a restraining order ASAP.

 
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