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Old 10-20-2006, 06:21 AM   #1
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JBravo556 HB User
why do I miss her?

Damn, I am starting to miss her.

Last edited by JBravo556; 11-28-2006 at 09:42 AM.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 06:54 AM   #2
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Re: why do I miss her?

Jbravo - not to mean, but maybe no one wants to be around you because you're so negative. I mean, read some of you posts on here ...not only are you depressed but you are so negative about everything !! That begins to wear on people.

The majority of people want to be around positive people ...those people that make them feel good and have positive outlooks .....negativity breeds negativity and most people choose not to be around this.

I urge you to seek some professional help to help you work through your depression and anger. I really think it would help.

 
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Old 10-20-2006, 07:15 AM   #3
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Re: why do I miss her?

my ex always said that I was too negative... I would constantly think I messed up my back doing something. She used to tell me to stop being so negative. Maybe that is what ruined our relationship.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 07:20 AM   #4
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Re: why do I miss her?

this isn't just about your back ......please read my post in your other "why relationships don't work" thread.

you're negative about everything .....not just your back.

you need to work on yourself so you can attract and be attractive to those positive / healthy people.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 08:11 AM   #5
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Re: why do I miss her?

I am sorry, but I have to agree with "thesedays". As a woman, I personally would not be attracted to someone who is so negative and who doesn't have much confidence in himself.

This clearly comes across, not only in your own threads, but in your responses to other's threads as well.

Although alot of women yearn for a "sensitive" man, TOO sensitive is very unattractive. Most women (and I am NOT speaking for all women), like a challenge. They want someone who is mentally strong and secure and somewhat agressive.

I would be turned off by a man who is always questioning the relationship, overanalyzing my every move, and not giving me the space that is so important in a relationship.

Again, I am sure that there are women out there that would love this behaviour, but I for one, am not one of them. Just my opinion.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 08:29 AM   #6
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Re: why do I miss her?

I agree with the above posters. There is a pervasive negativity in your posts, especially towards women.

You mention that she hasn't returned your call and assume that the reason is that she is dating someone else. Maybe she just doesn't feel like now is a good time to talk to you. Maybe this is painful for her, also.

If I were you, I would address the back pain issue (try Dr. John Sarno's book, Healing Back Pain) and start getting out of the house and trying to meet new friends. Life doesn't suck- your perception of it does right now.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 10:41 AM   #7
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Re: why do I miss her?

honestly, being in chronic pain for 4 years is depressing. For a long time, even after my surgery I was always positive around my ex. I went out of my way to be strong for myself physically. Then in July my best friend killed himself so of course she saw me being negative. How could you be positive right after something like that? I expected that she would understand and stick around. I wish I could call my friend Dom right now but he isn't here anymore. So yeah I do feel like I'm losing people around me and her breaking up with me, leaving me when I was at my lowest, kind of makes everything so much worse.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 11:54 AM   #8
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Re: why do I miss her?

I'm sure Bravo, but it's time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. Easier said than done? Of course it is, but if you want better relationships, more friends, etc, it's what you're going to have to do.

You've been given excellent advice on all of your posts, but you don't seem to take any of it. Instead you make excuses as to why you act the way you do and try to justify your behaviors.

No one is "coming down on you", quite the opposite, just trying to help you.

Frankly, you don't seem willing to help yourself.

As stated ....negativity breeds negativity and this is all you will find until you make some changes within yourself.

Last edited by thesedays; 10-20-2006 at 11:56 AM.

 
Old 10-20-2006, 12:34 PM   #9
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Re: why do I miss her?

I'm trying to pick myself up and I know that I have to do something about it. I made an appointment to see someone this saturday.

i guess what I learned from this relationship is:

a) i need to date someone more mature
b) i need to build more self confidence
c) i need to be more positive over all
d) i need to figure out how to be happy without someone else in my life

I wanted to be in a relationship for so long before I met my ex and when I was in it I guess I would "over look" various things because I wanted to be in a relationship for fear of being alone.

 
Old 10-21-2006, 12:51 AM   #10
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Re: why do I miss her?

Your list is almost right on, except for the part where you mention dating more mature girls. Don't blame anything on the other person. I'm not saying she didn't play her part, but right now you need to solely be looking at what your role in it was. Dating a more mature person isn't going to change anything if you yourself haven't changed. Concentrate on finding who you are, and someone who matches that will come to you.

 
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