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nicksta07 · 10-22-2006, 08:47 AM

so me and my gf have been going out for 7 months now and were doing great and we are seniors in high school. and she told me like a while ago that she wanted to stay in the city for college. and well like 2 days ago she tells me that she was talking to her friend and that if she gets accepted to this one college she is going ( the college is like 3 hours from me) and i was like in shock and it depressed the whole day. she asked me how i felt about it and i said i didnt want to talk about it. whatr does she want me to say?--i mean am i supposed to be excited that my gf is might eventually leave me? i mean i want the best for her and all but at the same time i really dont want her to leave me. i dont wanna hold her back but at the same time i do lol. any advice or comments?

messee84 · 10-22-2006, 10:14 AM

That's a really tough situation and I feel for you. But if it's one thing I've learnt from my relationships it'ss that you have to do what's right for your life and not the relationship, esp at such a young age. Because if it's meant to be and you want it to work enough and are both prepared to make the effort you will get though it. Maybe her going away will give you a push to do some things for yourself that you've not wanted to do because it meant leaving her behind like travel or goin to college yourself. If a relationship holds you or her back it will only result in resentment down the line. I'm just trying to be honest with you, I know it's prob not what you want to hear but I've been there, on both ends of the situtation, and both times one person has tried to hold the other back (or at least made it very difficult for the other person) and it's ended in tears. Sure tell her you'd be sad if she went but look at the positives, the less time you'd spend together the greater it would be when you do see each other.

desertdweller · 10-22-2006, 10:49 AM

Lets look at the big picture. You've been together 7 months, you are young, and she's making decisions that effect her whole life. You need to suck it up bigtime and encourage her to do what's best for her career/life goals and over-ride your hurt feelings. If you are meant to stay together over time, you will.

nicksta07 · 10-22-2006, 11:46 AM

ya your right. thanks. i know that she is gunna prolly want to stay together if she goes though. but like its college and i mean i dont trust her staying faithful u know. i wouldnt trust myself. should we try and stay together and see what happens...well i want to stay together but..i guess what im asking is whats the odds of the relationship working?

goody2shuz · 10-22-2006, 12:23 PM

Hi

Part of loving somebody is allowing them to grow and to reach their own potential as an individual. To stand in the way of that is also denying the relationship the opportunity of growing as well.

It is a difficult thing to do when you love someone to let go and be confident enough in the relationship to withstand it.

The way I see it there is more benefit in supporting your GF's growth and your relationship's overall success than there is of denying her something that she needs to experience as a young adult.

I have a favorite saying that may help you through all of this. It says...

If you love something set it free...
If it comes back to you it's yours forever.
If it doesn't, it never was.

Hope that this helps you through doing something that the heart sometimes finds difficult to do.

~ Goody

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