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Old 10-24-2006, 11:49 PM   #1
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Fabat40 HB User
Why are some women attracted to married men?

Hello there,

Just a short synopsis of my life. I've recently remarried after being divorced for approximately 18 years. During my unmarried life, I've dated a few times, and unknowingly to one married man. He'd lied to me in the beginning and as soon as I found out he was married, I dropped him. When I find out a man I'm interested in is married or has a significant other (SO), I become his friend and that's as far as our relationship would go.

Now that I'm married, my husband recently got promoted in his company to a Corporate VP and tonight, a lot of his colleagues, close friends, family members and I celebrated his promotion. One particular female co-worker of his was heavily flirting with my husband. I was just an ear-shot away from them. My husband was kindly and graciously turning her down every time she'd made suggestions of the two of them having lunch or dinner. With other women, he knows it's innocent, but my husband knows this woman wants more than just food for lunch. She knows he'd recently married and his wedding band on his left ring finger was loudly saying, "he's married".

On our way home tonight, he'd told me what has transpired and I admitted to him that I heard the majority of their conversation. He laughed and said he felt flattered that he's getting attention from women. He also voiced his observation that ever since we'd become engaged and now married, he said that he gets more attention from women now than he'd ever been before. Even women strangers. I am not jealous nor upset nor did I try to intervene with his female co-worker and him because I trust that my husband will do the right thing, or I wouldn't have married him.

What is this phenomena? To me, married men are a waste of my time and energy to chase... they're taken! I'll be friends with them, but that's it.

What is the attraction? I don't see men having the same attraction to married women... or do they and it's just not as common?

I'm just curious of this whole phenomena on why a lot of women are attracted to men who are taken.

Thank you

Last edited by Fabat40; 10-24-2006 at 11:53 PM.

 
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Old 10-25-2006, 01:42 AM   #2
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Willapp HB User
Re: Why are some women attracted to married men?

Perhaps it's because married men somehow give off this self confidence that comes from knowing they've got a secure relationship, therefore are more relaxed around other women because they aren't looking for anything to happen - maybe women can sense this and are attracted by it?

Either that, or perhaps some women just like the thrill of trying to seduce someone who is supposedly "unavailable" - like "am I sexy enough to get him into bed, even though he's married". In other words, an ego trip for them.

 
Old 10-25-2006, 09:31 AM   #3
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PeytonP HB User
Re: Why are some women attracted to married men?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fabat40
When I find out a man I'm interested in is married or has a significant other (SO), I become his friend and that's as far as our relationship would go.
I'm so there with you. I would never give it a second thought.

I've often wondered about the dynamic myself. Ug. I just wouldn't have the emotional energy to deal with that!

And I can't figure if that means my ego is big (as in, I'm better than being second best or dealing with that crap!) or my ego is small (who the heck would leave his family for ME!?).

I knew a woman who ALWAYS went after married men. Always! So much drama! And they never left their wives. Go figure.

 
Old 10-25-2006, 09:35 AM   #4
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galinaqt HB User
Re: Why are some women attracted to married men?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fabat40
Hello there,
Now that I'm married, my husband recently got promoted in his company to a Corporate VP
That is a real reason why this woman wants him not 'cause he is married. You better watch it. Some marriages ended up in divorce. Some women would go after rich successful man even if he is married with kids.

I don't believe that women attracted to men 'cause he is married there are some other attractions from money and success to not abling to get anybody else.
In my former country there were much more women than men. At my mother's job half of single women had kids (some even two) from married coworker who was very unattractive and had bad hygene but he didn't mine to "help" them.

 
Old 10-25-2006, 09:44 AM   #5
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Re: Why are some women attracted to married men?

galin..can I ask what country you are from?

 
Old 10-25-2006, 09:59 AM   #6
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StenoLady1 HB UserStenoLady1 HB User
Re: Why are some women attracted to married men?

I, too, knew a woman who just loved to go after married men. She was often successful in her quests. She broke up three marriages in the few years I knew her. She was very bold and outspoken about her reasons why: She just loved going after what most thought she couldn't (or shouldn't?) have. Once she got 'em, she dropped 'em and went on the lookout for her new prey. Talk about drop-dead gorgeous, too. What few looks she wasn't given from the Good Man Upstairs (or Woman!), she bought (boobs and extra-full lips).

She also had quite the sad upbringing. Her mother abandoned her, and the family she was raised by reminded me of the Beverly Hillbillies. At her sister's wedding, her father refused to wear a tux. He insisted on his bib overalls, which had sort of been molded to his chest from all the years he wore this type of attire. He was happy to show everyone the indentations on his chest from the little clip things. Family was filthy rich -- elevators in their bedrooms -- thanks to owning casinos in Mississippi.

Anyway, not sure if her upbringing/family might have something to do with her behavior for always, always going after married men.

 
Old 10-25-2006, 09:59 AM   #7
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happymom28 HB User
Re: Why are some women attracted to married men?

I have an ex-friend who will only date married me. She said she gets the sex and gifts with no strings attached. I tollerated her behavior for years because I figured she would grow out of it. She tried to sink her hooks into my husband and that was the end of our friendship.
I can't speak for all women, but that was her reasoning.

 
Old 10-25-2006, 10:51 AM   #8
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galinaqt HB User
Re: Why are some women attracted to married men?

Russia.
When Clinton had Levinsky scandal, it was a joke "Why don't he come here he would of have whole factory of woman who'd be happy to have him"

 
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