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Old 10-27-2006, 02:20 PM   #1
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frankiesmom HB User
About to go through another breakup!

I have been dating a great guy and we've come to a crossroads. He's totally in love with me and I dated him as soon as my divorce was final. I just don't know if I am in love with him because of the emotional wreck I was because of the divorce. Now, I feel like it's my duty to let him go. Has anyone else gone through this? This may be a dumb question but I will need so much support! Thank you!

 
Old 10-27-2006, 02:29 PM   #2
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Unsure_88 HB User
Re: About to go through another breakup!

Its only natural to think of him as being a rebound...but maybe he isn't. What you can do is pursue a relationship with him and see how it goes. Its not like you have to marry him anytime soon. If he feels for you this way it will be tough to let him go and find an easy way to do it. But maybe he is the thing that you need right now.

 
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Old 10-27-2006, 02:56 PM   #3
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Re: About to go through another breakup!

Well let me just say that there aren't all that many chances to meet a "great guy" so give him a chance and why do you say it's your "duty" to let him go...Oh I know...it's the old guilt trip right?!
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Old 10-27-2006, 02:59 PM   #4
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Re: About to go through another breakup!

I've been through a divorce myself and moved right on to the next serious relationship right after. Which was totally against everyone's advice who knew me. You're right, you need time in between to get to know yourself and figure out what you want -- you need some single time.

How long have you been dating this guy anyway?

Depending on that, you're just going to have to let him know how you feel. You don't want to lead him on anymore because that's kind of what you've been doing in a way. I think sometimes it has to be like a band-aid and you just rip it off really fast. It'll hurt, but it's best to get it over with.

Last edited by minnesotagirl; 10-27-2006 at 03:00 PM.

 
Old 10-30-2006, 06:56 AM   #5
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Unhappy Re: About to go through another breakup!

Thanks, guys, for all the advice. He's my best friend in the world, but he has told me he is not happy with the way things are. I told him from the beginning I would need time and space and the more I got to know him, the more comfortable I felt around him and the more we got along. My ex and I didn't have the relationship he and I have, we can just sit and be. My ex was a firefighter, hockey player, a go go go person and this guy is more like me. He puts me and my daughter above everything else and with my ex we were second. Do you think maybe I was just in love with what my ex couldn't give me? That certainly makes sense and I still have this gnawing feeling in my gut that I'm not giving him what he wants and that I need to cut the strings, for his sake. I have gone through serious breakups (obviously) and I'm so scared of hurting again, esp with the cold weather and holidays coming that makes it even more depressing.

 
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